Slay Belles

'Tis the time for a Christmasy jingle
About slimy and dismal Kris Kringle
There's no reason for joy,
Nor one seasonal toy,
When his crimes and this missy commingle.



Christmas sickos don't live at the pole
Icky Nick here will give only coal
As he lunges at you,
Asking "One lump or two?"
Nicky sticks a sharp shiv in your soul.

Tales from the Crypt (1972) pits Joan Collins against Oliver MacGreevy as a psycho Santa. Title by sleigh driver David Cairns.