Another Fine Message

It has a Deep Thought for its day
That Nuke-U-Ler War’s not okay;
But for all of its' strivin’
The kids at the drive-in
Aren’t watching the screen anyway.

Paul Truster


Teenage Caveman (Roger Corman; 1958) stars Robert Vaughn and Darah Marshall.

Cover Girly

The editor bought it and ran it
Doc Wertham’s advice was “Just ban it!”
But comic-book lovers
Still treasure the covers
Of every dumb issue of Planet.

Paul Truster

Cover art by Dan Zolnerowich. Psychiatrist Fredric Wertham wrote Seduction of the Innocent, a book which asserted that comic books caused youth to become delinquents.

Baths of Glory

The wise will seize each opportunity
To bolster their native immunity;
They’ll do what they oughter
With soap and hot water
For their sake and all the community.

Paul Truster

Sean Connery looks annoyed on the set of Diamonds are Forever (1971).

Roadkiller

“Massive spider runs out of control!”
Someone dial up the Highway Patrol!
The job should be offered
To Broderick Crawford;
We can’t have bugs breaking parole.

Paul Truster



Top: Tarantula (Jack Arnold; 1955) Above: Broderick Crawford starred as Police chief Dan Mathews on the television series Highway Patrol from 1955 to 1959.

Gore In Store

An attempt to increase farmer’s yields
Proves disastrous without proper shields.
Now the ravenous ‘hoppers
Are clacking their choppers;
Don’t let them attack Marshall Field’s!

Paul Truster

Grasshoppers attack Chicago in Beginning of the End (Bert I. Gordon; 1957). Marshall Field’s was a famous department store in the city.

Shock Hop

So this spider crawls out of a hole
And discovers it hates rock and roll
The kids aren’t attracted
To the grumpy arachnid
He can’t help it – he just prefers soul!

Paul Truster



A rock band practicing for a school dance awakens the title tarantula in Earth vs. the Spider (Bert I. Gordon; 1958).

Blanket Coverage

Her trauma’s beyond all endurance
(And she may need that treatment with currents);
But the doctors’ first task
Is, as always, to ask:
“Does this cute little mite have insurance?”

Paul Truster

William Schallert and James Whitmore rescue Sandy Descher, traumatized by THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Growth Industry

The doctor, a humanitarian,
Had approaches one might term contrarian;
His cry was ‘more meat!’
But the task had him beat
Next time, Doc, try something agrarian.

Paul Truster

Scientist Leo G. Carroll seeks a solution to world hunger in Tarantula (Jack Arnold; 1955).

Physician Congeal Thyself

This nutritional breakthrough is stalling
As its side effects prove quite appalling;
Deemer’s New Wonder Diet?
There's few that will try it!
Its stock, like his features, is falling.

Dr. Deemer’s a very sad case
With his eye and his ear out of place
Though his motives were pure
He himself needs a cure;
It’s no fun for a doc to lose face.

Paul Truster

Leo G. Carroll as Professor Gerald Deemer in Tarantula (Jack Arnold; 1955).

Ick-speriment!

It creeps through the scrub and the thistles
It’s hungry and covered with bristles;
The drive-in crowd cheers
Every time it appears
While Mara Corday provokes whistles.

Paul Truster



Mara Corday adds the sex appeal to Tarantula (Jack Arnold; 1955); with Leo G. Carroll.

“Mantis Movie Generates Buzz"

“We’ve done ants,” said some filmic Big Cheese
“Then the spiders, what’s next? Maybe fleas?”
Thus answered his stooge,
"Praying mantis--but huge!"
“That’s it! ‘Deadly Mantis!’ Script, please!"

Paul Truster

And so, The Deadly Mantis (Nathan Juran; 1957) was, um...greenlit.

Gonna Wash That Mantis Out of My Hair

The mantis flies out from his nest
To scare her, yet she’s unimpressed;
After facing the ogles
Of studio moguls
He’s just one more Hollywood pest.

Paul Truster

The Deadly Mantis (Nathan Juran; 1957) peeps through the window at Alix Talton.

Ant-erior Monologue

Of her fear there’s no one to relieve her,
And few will be apt to believe her;
If she says Dad and Mum
Were by ants overcome
Straight into the nuthouse they’ll heave her.

Paul Truster

Sandy Descher, Waldron Boyle, and James Whitmore in a lobby card from THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Them Thar Anthills!

It’s said that a child shall lead them
Indeed, if we’re wise, we will heed them;
When it's "Them!" children bawl
Don't hem, haw, or stall--
We'll run from the ants, or we’ll feed Them!

Paul Truster

Little Sandy Descher, traumatized by THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Mean Cuisine

When the scientist pulls off a blooper,
Who fixes the mess? Why, the trooper!
Hoists his weapon and fires it
At THEM what requires it--
So now, who’s for Scrambled Eggs Super?

Paul Truster

James Whitmore, James Arness, and Joan Weldon find the giant ant's nest in THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

The Mass Menagerie

Post-war, movies sought a new mission
And formed it from nuclear fission;
They preached, as a warning
Freak creatures a-borning
And swarms of big bugs needin’ squishin’.

Paul Truster


Beginning of the End (Bert I. Gordon; 1957): An agricultural scientist grows gigantic vegetables using radiation, but the crops are eaten by locusts (aka grasshoppers), which quickly grow to a gigantic size and attack Chicago.

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ant-Munitions!

Their queen won't expect a bazooker
If that's not effective, we'll nuke 'er
Atomic..? Wait--no!
The bomb made Them grow!
Yet somehow we'll wreck Them--bet lucre!

Paul Truster and Surly Hack

James Arness helps load a bazooka in THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

National Ant-Them!

When these gi-ants need fuel, they will forage
Better hide, or they’ll chew you like porridge;
If you're lame and can't run
Better aim a big gun
Or that flamethrower cooling in storage.

Paul Truster

The ants surface in Them! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

The Hooch of Frankenstein

Our monster’s now deep in the sauce
What’s left of his brain’s a dead loss
Though served smokes and pottage
He burns down the cottage
--If I were the monk, I’d be cross.

Paul Truster

The Monster (Boris Karloff) and the hermit (O.P. Heggie) party hearty in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Franken-Fridays is fit as a fiddle.

Flame and Fortune

By rights, the poor mummy's concerned
Once bright, now his prospects have turned;
Never trust the High Priest
He's a lustful, low beast
And his acolytes always get burned.

Paul Truster



Priest of Karnak Turhan Bey and Mummy Lon Chaney Jr. in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Mummy Mondays is carrying a torch.