Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Nuclear Family Values

In this, the atomical age
to live for the moment’s the rage
Why plan far ahead
when we'll wind up dead?
We’re stuck in a teenager stage

Monday, March 30, 2009

R.I.P. Slip

I'm sorry, my finger--it slipped
I squeezed and the bullet just ripped
You don't need to ask it,
I'll visit your casket
whenever I drive by your crypt

Ann Savage and Hugh Beaumont star in this
quickie double of Double Indemnity. For a
clip and review on
Noir of the Week, click here
Sorry, but this kills off Film Noir Week.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Real Decoy

A murderous dame wants some bread
so brings a guy back from the dead
Her morals are hazy:
she drives the guys crazy
then runs them down under her tread

The poverty row quickie Decoy (44) stars Jean Gillie as a
noir femme fatale for the ages. She has her ex-boyfriend and
bank robber brought back from the dead--and runs another
sucker over in her car. Watch for Sheldon Leonard as a cop.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Black and Blue Gardenia

She walks the night streets all alone
Feels guilty, thinks she must atone
A playboy is dead
and she's filled with dread
the fate that awaits her unknown

Fritz Lang's Blue Gardenia ('53) stars Ann Baxter, Richard Conte, Raymond Burr and Nat Cole, who sings the title song.

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Killers is Coming

The killers are coming to kill
Alone in the dark I lie still
I've loved and I've lost
and been double-crossed
I'd run but I don't have the will.

Burt Lancaster got his first starring role opposite
Ava Gardner in Robert Siodmak's The Killers (1946)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Gun and Done

A guy and a gal and a gun
Two's company, three is more fun
They filled up the tank
and killed, robbing bank
and since then they've been on the run

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Past, Tense

A guy can fall hard and fall fast
although the guy knows it won't last
You live and you die
your gallows build high
'cause no one escapes from the past

Director Jacques Tourneur's Out Of The Past (1947) is a Noir poem of romantic doom.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Dead Ending

Coincidence, minor or great,
Just might be the finger of fate
If ever you hitch
It could be a bitch
So next time, try catching a freight.

For an essay on director Edgar G. Ulmer's poverty row noir masterpiece, Detour, click here. And for a link to a Limerwrecks limerick obit for Detour actress Ann Savage, click here.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Heat Waving

A bomb that was meant for a cop
Starts a thirst for revenge that won’t stop
The big heat will burn
And the tables will turn
Strong coffee that’s good to last drop

Glenn Ford and Gloria Grahame in The Big Heat (Fritz Lang, 1953).

Sunday, March 22, 2009

It's Hammer's Time

A broad stops a car in the road
A clue to a black box that glowed

With crazed “Va-va-VOOM!”
it's violent doom
A world that is set to explode

Detective bereft of a code
about to be Los Alamo'd

He's sleazy and mean
and sneers at the screen
It's Noir in a nihilist mode

Robert Aldrich's
Kiss Me Deadly stars Ralph Meeker as sleazy bedroom dick Mike Hammer. It's one of the nastiest and greatest of all films noir. Welcome to Film Noir Week at Limerwrecks.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Sound Offering

For the silly, obscure and profound-of-it
and a giant-sized man-thingy mound-of-it
From cool to the odd
all news fit to pod
Around Comics will bring you the sound-of-it

There’s Chris, who likes boozing and sports
and Sal, with the (snooze) news reports
A comic book podcast
with comically odd cast
Like Tom, in his Daisy Duke shorts

If you're into comic books, give a listen
to the Around Comics podcast, here

Friday, March 20, 2009

Play, Mate

This gal has the looks of a swinger
and hot-to-trot playlot humdinger
A swing-set sex-bomb
But home to meet mom?
Admittedly, I'll never bring her

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Welcome Matts

A marshal plugged outlaws with slugs
A cowboy stole pharmacy drugs
Two Dillons named Matt
as simple as that
Not big, handsome Siamese lugs

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Ball's Bearing

An athlete who cheated and schtupped
as ‘Player’ met ending abrupt

When wife caught him cheating

he got such a beating

he wished his equipment was cupped

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Say Cheese (cake)

Diverted by thoughts that were lewd
I got her words all misconstrued
I thought she meant me
when she said that she
would like to take pics of me, nude

Monday, March 16, 2009

Cavity Gravity

I made my directions quite plain
I won't tolerate any pain
If this DDS
slips up, I confess
I'll drill some lead into his brain

(cartoon by Chon Day)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pleasant Under Glass

The Pulps would imprison a lassie
in cells that were see-through and glassy

And through them reveal

transparent appeal

of scantily clad cutie’s chassis

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Grim, Brutha, Grim

A little red hen fricassee
A princess asleep in her pee
How far falls the sky?
It's seven flies shy
Things don't always end happily

Friday, March 13, 2009

Viral Stair Case

Steer clear of suspense movie snares
and never look under the stairs!
In basements hide lots
of idiot plots
Poor scripts which give logic the scares

We've written ourselves into a dark corner
so this is the flimsy fade out for Film Week

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Fear Window

A fellow was taken aback--
he'd found himself under attack
He'd spied on the lives
of husbands and wives
till one of his neighbors looked back

Raymond Burr returns the gaze of Jimmy Stewart in Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece, Rear Window.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Uno Ano Oh-No

We sit and type rhyme after rhyme
and hardly keep track of the time
We must be insane
our writing's inane
and nobody pays us a dime

Surly and Norm

Limerwrecks is one year old.
Will somebody please stop us?!?

Melo-Drama School

In Texas the Hadley's are known
for all of the acres they own
The children, well oiled
are terribly spoiled
and destined to end up alone
Douglas Sirk's masterpiece of Freudian
melodrama, Written On The Wind.