Monday, December 31, 2018

Here's Mud in Your Isis



Once man, now this being is "iffy"
On tana in tea will get squiffy
Then limp, scuff, and stagger
More gimp than like Jagger
A bandaged and pre-Christian stiffy.

Tom Tyler drags a leg through Universal's first Mummy sequel, The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940). Title by Donald Benson, a mudder. Happy New Year from all the stiffs at LimerWrecks.

Friday, December 28, 2018

Boarder Incident



In the forest, this rough-living fogey
Teaches Boris to puff on a stogie
Can the second-hand chest
Of this neck-bolted guest
Stand the horrible guff of his yogi?

David Cairns

O.P. Heggie plays a blind hernit, and Boris Karloff is the Monster in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). You're always welcome on Franken-Fridays.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Throwback Scratcher



Professor grows hairy, goes ape
Regressing, at fair sex he'll gape
On dates such a savage,
A waitress he'll ravage!
Aggressive, he'll tear, paw, and scrape.

Prof. Clifford Groves (Robert Shayne) turns himself into The Neanderthal Man (Ewald André Dupont; 1953) and attacks a waitress (Beverly Garland). Title by headscratcher David Cairns. Throwback Thursdays is throwing up.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Carol of the Smells



This fellow's no saint at events
His hellish old taint gives offense
His grating behavior
Predating the Savior,
His smell? Well, it ain't frankincense.

Donald B. Benson

Lon Chaney Jr, bellies up to the bar in a promo still for The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Baby's Just Cold Outside

 

Miss Fromsett does not appear jolly
Her drama could blot out the holly
But after some grog
She'll laugh and you'll snog
This bomb's Santa's hottest tamale.

Adrienne Fromsett (Audrey Totter) eyeballs the camera, aka Philip Marlowe, in Lady in the Lake (1947), a Christmastime film noir. Title by lukewarm Donald Benson. Happy holidays to all from the gang at LimerWrecks.

Monday, December 24, 2018

B.C. Living



This Mummy is hoary and worn
The bum just ignores X-mas morn
His hateful activity
Predates the nativity
Was crumbling before Christ was born.

Lon Chaney reaches for some guy's throat in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Title by D.C. (David Cairns).

Friday, December 21, 2018

The Monster Who Came to Dinner



Raise a glass to the monster (with food)
He's a massive and ponderous dude
But just give him a chance
For unliving bromance
His fantastic response is "Friend good!"

David Cairns

Hermit O.P. Heggie welcomes Monster Boris Karloff into his home in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Donald Benson came up with the title. Franken-Fridays is making friends.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

The Man From "UNK!"



Why live in a cave dusk till dawn?
Are you driven to crave what's long-gone?
You're a hot-headed teen
On the potholing scene
What gives with the shave, Robert Vaughan?

David Cairns

Robert Vaughn is the Teenage Caveman (Roger Corman; 1958). Our Limerick Lexicon tells us that 'potholing' is a UK term for spelunking or cave exploring. Throwback Thursdays has thrown us a curve.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

The Wolf Man at the Door



Beware of the pest at the door    
This terror you'd best not ignore
His canines and claws
Cause pain and give pause
Blood rare he'll digest all your gore.

In Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948), Lou Costello also meets the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney, Jr). It's Werewolf Wednesday.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Somebody's Going to Get Schooled



Now here is Miss Hildegarde Withers
Old dearie who most never dithers.
Since toughened by brats
She's rough on the rats
When nearing where murderer slithers.

Donald B. Benson

Penguin Pool Murder (George Archainbaud; 1932) is the first of three comedy/mystery films in which Edna May Oliver played New York schoolteacher and amateur sleuth Hildegarde Withers. Tuesday is Sleuthday at LimerWrecks.

Monday, December 17, 2018

Mummy Happy Returns



By the glorious scepter of Set
This horror a grim fate has met
He’s hell-bound for good
Though it’s well understood
They'll restore him for sequels, you bet.

Paul Truster

The end title from The Mummy's Tomb.(Harold Young; 1942).

Friday, December 14, 2018

Frankie-Panky



To his friend the big lunk lifts his glass
Elbows bend, soon he's drunk on his ass
He's been blue but he'll find
That a true love is blind
In the end, by his bunk, they hold mass.

The Monster (Boris Karloff) enjoys a happy moment in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Here's to Franken-Fridays!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Primitive Fart


 
They call this neanderthal Cliff
He's a squalid and grand guignol stiff
He will have a big snarl and
Then ravish Bev Garland
An appalling, substandard what-if.

David Cairns

Robert Shayne plays Prof. Clifford Groves, who turns himself into The Neanderthal Man (Ewald André Dupont; 1953), hoisting supporting player Beverly Garland, who was using her new stage name for the first time. Throwback Thursdays wants to throw this one back.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Hirsute Yourself



Fur-festooned by a taxing complaint
This poor loon's sprouting yak's-hair, how quaint!
It's a monthly affliction
He grunts and starts itchin;'
When the moon's fully waxed, Chaney ain't.

David Cairns

Jack Pierce created the Wolf Man makeup for Lon Chaney Jr. Welcome to Werewolf Wednesday.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Double or Nutty



In his beaker the stuff that's now bubbling
Isn't weak like some guff, it's more troubling
One swig and F. March
Loses dignity, starch
And will shriek and act rough after doubling.

David Cairns

Fredric March is both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Rouben Mamoulian; 1931). Bottoms up! It's Terrible Twos-Day.

Monday, December 10, 2018

He Gypped



This cheater betrays out of lust
For a sweetie with praiseworthy bust
Yes, he's drooling, he's scummy
But not fooling the Mummy
And he's beat by one raised from the dust.

David Cairns

Arkham sect member Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) is all over Betty Walsh (Kay Harding) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).

Friday, December 7, 2018

Enchanted Cottage Fries



This blind man will care for the hunk
He's kind, and the pair will get drunk
Then strangers inquire,
Cry danger, start fire
Did they find the two share the same bunk?

The Monster (Boris Karloff) finds a friend (O.P. Heggie) in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Fridays.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Who's on Cursed?



Dr. Zoomer's pet mummy ain't Kharis
Bud and Lou meet this crumb, he's called Klaris
And he's hiding his face
From abiding disgrace
For a movie this dumb will embarrass.

David Cairns

In Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (Charles Lamont; 1955), Kurt Katch played Dr. Gustav Zoomer, and stuntman Edwin (Eddie) Parker was Klaris, the Mummy. This was the last Mummy film made by Universal, as well as the last that Abbott and Costello made for the studio. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay. It's getting late!

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

The Mummy's Worse



The sahib's deep desires are all amorous
But this dweeb in a fez isn't glamorous
His pace is quite glacial
And that face needs a facial
A reboot will presently Hammer us.

David Cairns

Once Universal replaced lovesick Imhotep with Kharis, the schlepping Mummy, the series needed High Priests and disciples to set the plot wheels turning. Peter Coe as Dr. Ilzor Zandaab, Martin Kosleck as Ragheb, and Kay Harding as Betty Walsh add pointless plot points to The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), the last sequel in the 1940s Mummy revival. Abbott and Costello were waiting in the wings. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay..

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Holy Crypture



Though one of a cunning old clergy
This son of a gun's hot and urge-y.
His vow he'll betray
(And how he will pay)
For fun with a stunning young virgy.

Donald B. Benson

Arkham sect acolyte Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) lusts after Betty Walsh (Kay Harding) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Acolyte at the End of the Tunnel



This grime-sucking heel--that's enough!
It's time that I really get rough
The weasely pest
Thinks HE'S sex-obsessed?
The slimeball is stealing my stuff!

The Mummy (Lon Chaney Jr ) is fed up with Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). In the Mummy sequels, it's not the romantic interest of the Mummy that motors the plots, but that of the priests and acolytes. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay.

Friday, November 30, 2018

Clod Bless the Child



Don't scorn me, you know what I'm like
If cornered, a blow I will strike 
It's no life on the run
Constant strife, never fun  
Forlorn, I could go for this tyke.

The Monster (Lon Chaney Jr) befriends little Cloestine Hussman (Janet Ann Gallow) in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Thursday, November 29, 2018

The Kharis that Ate Kharis

 

Without fail Kharis ekes out the hours
It's own tail each lame sequel devours
Self-cannibalistic
No elan, inartistic
It grows stale and antique, as it sours.

David Cairns

The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944): In this, the last of the sequels, the Mummy (Lon Chaney Jr) plays stooge to high priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) and acolyte Ragheb (Martin Kosleck).

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Sequels Ye Shall Find



A fairly high priest, we assume
Has Kharis released from his tomb
But then, in a fire
Again, he'll expire
But terror, now ceased, will resume.

Cowboy star Tom Tyler and George Zucco in Universal's first sequel to the Mummy from Universal, The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940).

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Another Fine Mesquite



His fate has been highly unjust
He hates to comply, but he must 
Once dashing, now crusty
Old passions grown dusty
So dated and dry he'll combust.

The Mummy strangles some guy on a porch: Lon Chaney Jr in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Title by Mesquiter Donald B. Benson.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Mummy-Back Guarantee



First one thinks he is burned in a fire   
Then he sinks, unconcerned, in a mire
Under walls that collapse
There's no call to play taps
Mummy finks, we have learned, don't expire.

Lon Chaney Jr drags his way through The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). The Mummy appears to perish at the end of every film, but we know better. Title by Donald Benson, guaranteed.

Friday, November 23, 2018

Monster Smashed



As drunk as a lord, swilling scotch
This flunky's therefore not nop-notch
He'd have liked a gin rickey
But he's spiked with a mickey
Hits the bunk, where he snores, leaves a blotch.
 
David Cairns

Dr. Pretorius offers the Monster ( Boris Karloff) a knockout cocktail of House of Lords whiskey in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Title by smashing Donald B. Benson.

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Hope for the Rest, Expect the Versed



Though prepped for an infinite nap
He's kept by his masters on tap
And slogs overtime
In blogs full of rhyme
Except that these rhymes never wrap.

Donald B. Benson

Turhan Bey and George Zucco inspect The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). The Mummy being Lon Chaney Jr, of course. We'll all need a nap when the gobbling is over. Happy Thanksgiving from the turkeys at LimerWrecks.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Less is Morbid



The inaugural Mummy just glows
Now this slogger looks bummed, comatose
These sequels just prove he
Can creak through a movie
Which doggerel sums more than prose.

David Cairns



Lon Chaney Jr wishes he could escape The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Kharis Match



He staggers about, he's half-lame
Looks haggard, no doubt off his game
How can one defeat him?
Don't panic, reheat him!
The raggedy lout turns to flame.

Lon Chaney Jr. (or his stunt double) burns in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Title by the match king, David Cairns.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Acolyte's Out








These bums, though they're priests, can't be trusted
For a tumble the beasts have both lusted
To this perky brunette
The jerks pose a threat
The Mummy, at least, is disgusted.

High priest Ilzor (Peter Coe), acolyte Ragheb (Martin Kosleck), and Betty Walsh (Kay Harding), in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). Edit by David Cairns, out there at Shadowplay.

Friday, November 16, 2018

You've Gotten Female



The monster's aware that he's mental
And wants to be social and gentle.
He thinks he'd be sane
With a little girl's brain
And doesn't grasp harm incidental.

Donald B. Benson

Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr., and Janet Ann Gallow play musical brains in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Thursday, November 15, 2018

The Mummy's Handymen



In the deep Middle East there's a cult
Where they keep a high priest to consult
When some dopes from the West
Go and open a chest
An old creep gets released as result.

Priests of Karnak George Zucco and Eduardo Ciannelli conspire in The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940).

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Silence of the Ham



He'd squeal, but he's mute so can't say
What he feels for this beaut on display
The princess he'd mourn
Has since been reborn
And really looks cute, sans decay.

Lon Chaney carries The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944); with Virginia Christine (Ananka) and (Peter Coe (High priest Ilzor). Title by silent but deadly Donald B. Benson.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Degeneration Gap



It's easy to see there's no chance.
He's wheezy and doesn't wear pants.
She's reincarnated
To be far less dated --
A BC and AD romance.

Donald B. Benson

Boris Karloff and Zita Johann in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).

Monday, November 12, 2018

Deathless But Dateless



You can’t win her back by duress
Dark rants and attacks won't impress
No dagger will serve
To bag her, you perv
Romantic? You lack all finesse.

Paul Truster with Surly Hack

Boris Karloff and Zita Johann in a lobby card for The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).

Friday, November 9, 2018

Swap Meat



Though a brute when he's injured or riled,
This galoot would be winsome and mild
It seems strange but explains
His exchanging of brains
With this cute little innocent child.

In The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942), the Monster (Lon Chaney Jr) is obsessed with Cloestine Hussman (Janet Ann Gallow). Title by meaty David Cairns.

Thursday, November 8, 2018

Lecher In the Rhyme



Consider this rotten old coot
He's all id when he spots someone cute
He looks haggard and grim
And though dragging a limb
Lift his lid, and he's hot in pursuit.

Lon Chaney Jr and Ramsay Ames pose in a still for The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944).

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Scary-Go-Round



In a tomb kept a secret he'd slept
From that room, his joints creaking, he's crept
Then he dies at the close
Though he'll rise, we suppose
To resume in the sequels inept.

Lon Chaney Jr as Kharis in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

The Pith Element



Its tomb bears a terrible curse
Exhume, and beware the perverse
What you think long since died
Has been shrink-wrapped and dried  
Inhuman, it scares up this verse.

Dick Foran, Peggy Moran and Charles Trowbridge dare to raise The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940)

Monday, November 5, 2018

Sleepy Swallow



Take a sip, you'll feel hale and awake
Just one nip cures that ailment or ache
But you're wary of drinks
Poured by scary old finks 
And you're hip to odd males on the make.

The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944): High Priest Yousef Bey (John Carradine) admires the reincarnated princess Ananka (Ramsay Ames), and wants to keep her young for himself.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Souse of Frankenstein



The mummy sips only that tea
While Dracula's choice is Type B.
The monster's not choosy;
If you offer booze, he
Will grunt "What you drink fine with me!"

Donald B. Benson

Boris Karloff hits the sauce in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Franken-Fridays is loaded...with limericks.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

The Ra of Unintended Consequences



Their dream is to loot ancient purses,
They scheme despite hieroglyph curses,
Good sense overriding
But also providing
Our team with occasion for verses.

Paul Truster

Dick Foran, some guy (that doesn't look like Wallace Ford), Cecil Kellaway, Peggy Moran, and Charles Trowbridge shake The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940.)

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

A Case of the Runes



The professor might seem a bit manic
He's a mess, eyes agleam, in a panic
He's distressed he'll be burned,
And the lesson he's learned
Is: don't mess with a demon satanic.

Niall MacGinnis is Dr. Julian Karswell, on the run in Night of the Demon (Jacques Tourneur; 1957). Title by head case David Cairns. Happy Halloween from the demons at LimerWrecks!

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

The Pause that Ra-freshes



A cupful of tana or two
Wake up a new man through and through
Increase vim and vigor
And cease mortis-rigor 
Feel supple and brand-spanking-new!

Try some Tana™ today! Lon Chaney Jr. has a thirst in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by minty fresh James Finn Garner.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Handle With Kharis




Once deceased, on the verge of collapse
By high priests he's been urged to take naps
For some hair of the dog
Though such fare he will slog
At the least hum a dirge or play taps.

Lon Chaney Jr comes for the tana and stays for the strangling: The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944); With Frank Reicher.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Checkered Mate



They've made him a mate from spare pieces
But I'm afraid here come fate's cruel caprices
He displeases the Mrs.
When she sees him she hisses
His big day is a crate-load of feces.

David Cairns

Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff don't hit it off in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Friday.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Chaney Reaction



It's to score that our mummy returns
For a torrid-hot tumble he burns
But the goal of the star
Is a role less sub-par
To explore a part plummy, he yearns.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

In The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), high priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) looks on as the Mummy Kharis (Lon Chaney) places Princess Ananka (Virginia Christine) in her sarcophagus.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Breaking the Chaney



Lon's dismayed, he's a lunar-made thing
He's afraid what the future may bring
Mogul a-holes pinch pennies,
No more "A" roles, no Lennys…
A cascade of good hooch dulls the sting.

Larry Talbot and Lon Chaney contemplate their future in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (Roy William Neill; 1943).