Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Tripping the Light Fantastic

Al Hofmann, quite unfurtively
Did discover LSD
One hundred and two
He lived until due
To chemical preservatives---WHEEEEE!

Hot Link

Good Food Fast Dept.
Hot Doug’s is the place where encased
Ground meats of all kinds are embraced
Want duck fries with that?
(They’re fried in fowl fat)
The best place for a wurst with good taste

For a link to Doug’s in Chicago, click here.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Star Drek

As fave sci-fi geek TV show
first Star Trek has cult in the know
Each Spock-loving nerd
In Trekkie fan herd
Corrects use of “To boldly go…”

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Long Caballo

Director who's also the star
hops carousel after Pilar
The pink horse she rode
while schemes did corrode
Es un bueno New Mexican noir

Robert Montgomery both starred in and directed Ride the Pink Horse ( 1947). Wanda Hendrix played Pilar.


Perpetual motion machines
As planned by sustainable Greens:
They'll daily ingest
Legumes they har-vest
And run from the gas caused by beans

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Whistler In The Dark

by surlyh
Hollywood Bureau

Of all of the fun Castle flicks
My favorites star Richard Dix
These taut Whistler "B"s
Top series with ease
Two noir tales of fate's dirty tricks

Mark Of The Whistler was based
on a story by Cornell Woolrich.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Leary of Relativity

By Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

It's Day 7 of William Castle Week!

“Let’s Kill Uncle” --it’s kid vs. spy!
Matching wits, for a fortune, they vie
Using sharks, poison, spiders
As fatal deciders
Nigel Green hopes his nephew will die!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Full Mental Strait-Jacket

by Backthrow
Hollywood-by-way-of-Bellevue Bureau

It's Day 6 of William Castle Week! Enjoy!

Joan Crawford's insane to the max
Her grip on reality's lax
She's blamed for the slaughter
(It's really her daughter)
When her victims are given the axe

Night Walker, Nexus Stranger

by Backthrow
Somnambulist Bureau

Though her murder had long since began
Barb Stanwyck's not wise to the plan
Her recurring bad dream
Is not all it might seem
And Babs proves she can scream like a man!

Prank Amateurs

by Backthrow
Telecommunications Bureau

Two young girls, so bored and alone
Decide to have fun with the phone
They randomly dial
A murderer, vile
Oops, looks like their cover is blown!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Unreal Estate

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

A happy 94th birthday to the late William Castle!

"The Old Dark House" also starred Posten
Both Castle and he, clearly coastin'
With a ward's worth of kooks
--no more tinglers, nor spooks--
Successful? Well, no one was boastin'...

Commotion's 13

by surlyh
Geneva Bureau

"13 Frightened Girls" is a dandy
About diplomats’ kids, led by Candy
Things don’t go as planned
Around Switzerland
Hugh Marlowe again comes in handy

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Smiles on a Bummer Night

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

It's Day 4 of William Castle Week...

"Sardonicus" was Castle's next
A villain whose broad grin was hexed
His schemes took their toll
And by "Punishment Poll"
The audience proved it was vexed

A Penny for Your "Zotz!"

by Backthrow
Financial Bureau

Let's look at his comedy, "Zotz!"
A dark take on Disney-esque plots
A trick coin, by Goshen
Causes death, pain, slow-motion
Tom Posten should just play the slots!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Haint Misbehavin’

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

Day 3 of William Castle Week commences to begin right now...

“13 Ghosts”, his next foray in Fear
Bill provided "Illusion-O" gear
For those who were chickens
Scared out of their Dickens
Could choose to see spooks disappear

Home Sweet Homicidal

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

“Homicidal”, Bill’s riff on Hitchcock
Had a minute-long "Fright Break" screen clock
Craven "cowards" could leave
And full refund receive
While the others point at them and mock

Monday, April 21, 2008

It's Macabre-errin' Time!

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

William Castle Week continues...

After crime films, b-westerns, 3-D
Castle put “Macabre” on the marquee
Movie patrons, who dared
And expired, so scared
Were insured for a grand --not tax-free


by surlyh & Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

For a killer, B-chiller twin bill
Try “The Tingler” / “House On Haunted Hill”
--Skeletons will emerge!
--Feel a butt-buzzing surge!
Hoo-boy, was that Castle a pill!

Sunday, April 20, 2008


by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

Welcome to William Castle Week, celebrating the B-movie master of cinematic gimmicks and thrills in rhyme and verse, from now until next Sunday!

Watch "When Strangers Marry / Betrayed"
The very first film Castle made
Bob Mitchum appears
Whom Kim Hunter fears
Chock full of suspense on parade!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

High Lang-xiety

by Backthrow
Crime Bureau

Please pity child-murderer, "M"
From madness his actions all stem
As played by Pete Lorre
We hear his sad story
While underworld seeks to condemn

M is Fritz Lang's seminal silent crime film.

Friday, April 18, 2008


Midwest Bureau
by surlyh

At four in the morning I wake
Alone as the bed starts to shake
I'm not having fun
No 'good time' for one
I'm feeling a 5.2 quake

Gas Who's Coming To Dinner

by Backthrow
SETI Bureau

From deep space came a being named "Gleethe"
Sorely needing pure methane to breathe
He met the late "Billy"
Who died eating chili
Atmosphere, from his rear, Bill bequeath

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Don't Raise the Brigitte, Lower the Bar--d'oh!

par Backthrow
Bureau de Paris

Sex-kitten-turned-hag named Bardot
spewed slurs from her lips in a flow
foul tongued diarrheas
may end in "Le Guan-tan-amo"!

Read the story here

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Ape Jam

by Backthrow
Zoological Bureau

There once was a clumsy baboon
Who's head got stuck in a spittoon
Though he struggled and strained
On his skull, it remained
So he shrugged, and then joined a platoon

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Pick Up Line 32a

by Norm Knott

A tipsy accountant, Mort DePeche,
Asked of a lady, "What'sh your biz'nesh?"
She said CPA
Which caused him to say,
"I thought you looked 1040ish."

Monday, April 14, 2008

Frees' Fame

by Backthrow

Paul Frees had a voice he could vary
So far and beyond ordinary
As dubber, narrator
Cartoon vox creator
To this day, he remains, legendary

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Then Shame Bronson

by Backthrow
Tokyo D'ohs Bureau

There once was a Bronson named Chuck
Whose fame in the world ran amuck
He hawked the scent "MAN-DOM"
Throughout all Japan-dom
This ad, past the U.S., he snuck:

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Dice Harvest

by Backthrow
Sin City Bureau

If in Vegas, the word gets around
That your craps winning-streak isn't sound
Baby's new pair o' shoes
Is the least that you'll lose
'Neath the desert, you'll never be found…

Friday, April 11, 2008

Venture Capitol

by Backthrow

Of the non-vocal groups I could name
There is one that most merits its fame
All types dig The Ventures
From diapers to dentures
Few other bands can claim the same

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Peel McCoy

by Surlyh
London At Midnight Bureau

Far better than Blackman was she
And Thorson made weak cup of tea
These others were chaff
As Steed’s other half
The best spy, distaff, was Rigg, D.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

No Good Steed Goes Unpunished

by Norm Knott
London after dark Bureau

There once was a man named John Steed
A proper and smart man indeed
He ne'er copped a feel
Off fair Emma Peel
He knew in his groin he'd be kneed

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Britain With a Whip

by surlyh
London Crawling Bureau

This she-spy fixation I’ve heeded
As lad, Mrs. Peel, badly needed
D. Rigg was indeed
The best ‘half’of Steed
"Hit me, Brit invasion!” I pleaded

No Freudian images here
What’s seen is most blatant and clear
Though she’s having fun
With snake and cannon
Your mind, from the gutter, please steer

Monday, April 7, 2008

A Rigged Erection

by Backthrow
London Bureau

In a cat-suit, this Emma does stun
So a-Peel-ing (please pardon the pun)
I say, "Hey, you're my type!"
A quick chop, my windpipe--
Ah, 'tis Love... someone call 911...

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Where’s Yer Moses Now?

by Norm Knott, surlyh and Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

So Charlton Heston has died
And gone on last chariot ride
Gadzooks and forsooth!
He didst speak the truth
His guns from his dead hands were pried

Chuck Heston, big star, epic flicks
Has died, fallen like ton of bricks
In deep baritone
Words chiseled in stone
He bellowed ten bible rubrics

Heston Peace

He's El Cid, Ben-Hur and Will Penny
From Dark City, Big Country, so many
Touch of Evil, Khartoum
Made Apes' Planet go "Boom!
"Who fills Heston's shoes: None, not any.

For Whom the Dumbbell Tolls

All those seeking seats on the dais
Talk down to and “regular guy” us
As long as we choose
To vote for yahoos
With anti-intellectual bias

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Reinventing the Heel

Inventor attending convention
With Mrs. stirred marital tension
His vows he deserted
For model he flirted
Ignoring the mom of invention

Friday, April 4, 2008

Castle Creep

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

Castle's odd masterpiece was THE TINGLER
Vincent Price, and his spine intermingler
The thing grew on fear
Kids got zapped in the rear
The result: a cash register jingler!

13 GHOSTS, his next foray in Fear
Bill provided "Illusion-O" gear
For those who were chickens
Scared out of their Dickens
Could choose to see spooks disappear

Looky-looky-looky-looky-looky! Step right up! You can't afford to miss the above William Castle double-feature of 13 GHOSTS (1960) and THE TINGLER (1959) on Turner Classic Movies' "TCM Underground" tonight, starting at 2:00 AM (EST)! For just the eighth part of a day, you can prove to your friends that you can face the cold and clammy grip of fear, and live to tell the tale!

And for the hale and hearty amongst you, watch out for Limerick Of The Day's William Castle Week, later this month, right here on the inside, at this blog --presented in the startlingly modern cyber-miracles of Html-scope (tm) and Rhymerrround (tm)!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Another slain by Time, assassin

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

Sad news to report, of the passin'
Of world-class director, Jules Dassin
Brute Force through Topkapi
Not one of them crappy
New viewers: my seatbelt I'd fasten!

The West Is History

Jesse James on this day was shot dead
With a five grand reward on his head.
Bobby Ford fired
And Jesse expired.
On the wall hung a picture, crook-ed.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Rhyme Enough At Last

In this limerick now, a haiku
Nineteen syllables long, minus two
This first line has five
And seven more here, no jive
This also has five --There, I’m through.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Try 'er Down Below

by Backthrow

A fair lass from North Carolina
For purposes here, we'll call "Dinah"
In an effort to flirt
She hiked-up her skirt
To show off her new denim shorts!

April Fool!

Let's Kill Uncle Ben

by Backthrow

Today's ode to a favorite food: Rice
Steamed/fried/puffed, any way will suffice
That paddy-grown grain
Sends joy through my brain
Those were ant eggs you served me?? What?!? TWICE?!?