Kids Play With the Darndest Things

What to think of this hunger to bond?
Ask his shrink why, of youngsters, he's fond
What his fans want to know
Has he plans to heave ho?
Will she sink if she's flung in a pond?

Boris Karloff and Marilyn Harris in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931).

Amazons Primed

Jungle glam, exposed steamy hot thighs 
On some amorous females--surprise!
Though these chicks aren't frail,
And quite sick of the male,
Even amazons seem to need guys.

Laurette Luez leads the Prehistoric Women (Gregg G. Tallas; 1950). Title by "Prime Time" Donald Benson. Throwback Thursday wishes you a happy Valentine's Day!

Global Warning

Gear for war--or a future elysian
Either or, Earth must make a decision 
"For the danger must cease."
Says this stranger, "Choose peace.
Or by Gort you'll be baked with heat-vision."



Dr. Barnhardt (Sam Jaffe) reacts to the ultimatum from Klaatu (Michael Rennie) in The Day the Earth Stood Still (Robert Wise; 1951.

Surprise Guilty Party

Someone clever has done it--but whom?
Gather everyone, all in a room
Who committed the crime
Will admit it in time
Though it's never the one you assume.



Whodunnits and mysteries often employ a penultimate scene where the detective gathers all the suspects together. Here Nick and Nora Charles hold a dinner party in The Thin Man (W. S. Van Dyke; 1934). David Cairns came up with the title, and he's also guilty of suggesting the scene.

Schlep by Schlep

Just heat him some tana leaf potion
He's beat, but will manage slow motion
Teeth clenched, he's not talking
For centuries, walking
His feet sure could stand a good lotion.

Lon Chaney Jr. is the Mummy in The Mummy's Ghost ( Reginald Le Borg; 1943). Title by hep Donald Benson. Mummy Mondays is on the march.

Doom With a View

He's hoisted on high and then thrown
Giving voice to a cry, and a groan
A career of grave-robbery
Ends all smeared like a strawberry
And now moistly Dwight lies, still and prone.

David Cairns

Karl (Dwight Frye) is tossed from the castle's parapet by the Monster (Boris Karloff) in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Title by doom laden Donald Benson.

Reptile Dysfunction

He could chomp you to pieces then belch
Or else stomp you deceased with one squelch
But this flinty T-Rex
Has no interest in sex
So no romping cross-species with Welch.

David Cairns

One Million Years B.C. (Don Chaffey; 1966). It's sexy Throwback Thursday. The poster illustration is by Jack Thurston.

Some Like it Klaat

This caller will sizzle, beguile 
He's tall, lean and chiseled, has style
Any June, Jane or Janet
Would commune on his planet
In thrall to this visitor's smile.  

Michael Rennie is the alien emissary Klaatu in The Day the Earth Stood Still (Robert Wise; 1951).

Throw the Books at Them

Some carp about viewers who choose
Those Marples and old Nancy Drews
Which tick off the purists
But tickle the tourists
With sharp comic turns between clues.

Donald B. Benson

Bonita Granville (center) stars as Nancy Drew...Detective (William Clemens; 1938); also pictured are Frankie Thomas and John Litel.

Fails From the Script

The Karloff is notably eerie
But Kharis looks totally weary
Through sequels he rots
With creaking, old plots
Sub-par, writ by rote, oh so dreary.

Lon Chaney Jr creaks in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Title by fail-safe David Cairns.

Cut and Bride

For a partner he aches, poor galoot
But the tart doesn't make with the cute
He's the sum of his parts
And, though dumb, it still smarts
When his heart starts to break, he turns brute.

Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Title by David Cairns, quite the cut-up.

Cavemansplaining

His peers only turn up their snoots
His theory they spurn, think a hoot
The hive-minded fools
From ivy league schools
Will fear what he'll learn as a brute.

The Neanderthal Man (Ewald André Dupont; 1953). Professor Groves (Robert Shayne) presents his crackpot theory that Neanderthal man was more intelligent than 'modern man' because Neanderthals had bigger brains. Throwback Thursday is getting hairy.

Gort-Sighted

This alien bot reigns supreme
Obey, or be shot by its beam
Instead of two eyes
One deadly surprise
The ray from its slot is a scream.

Gort (Lock Martin) does his thing in The Day the Earth Stood Still (Robert Wise; 1951). Title by Mr. Roboto, Donald Benson.