Ant-erior Monologue

Of her fear there’s no one to relieve her,
And few will be apt to believe her;
If she says Dad and Mum
Were by ants overcome
Straight into the nuthouse they’ll heave her.

Paul Truster

Sandy Descher, Waldron Boyle, and James Whitmore in a lobby card from THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Entré You

A pronoun from Hell, full of force
This lonely girl yells it till hoarse
While she's weeping and bawling
The creepies come crawling
Over-grown, now they smell their first course.

David Cairns

Sandy Descher screams in THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Jeopardy -- In the Form of an Ant, Sir

What more could be found in one word?
Enormous, astounding, absurd!
No mere preposition
Brings fear or perdition
THEM, horrible pronoun, is heard!

Surly Hack and David Cairns

From the trailer for THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954). Title by wordy Donald B. Benson.

Them Thar Anthills!

It’s said that a child shall lead them
Indeed, if we’re wise, we will heed them;
When it's "Them!" children bawl
Don't hem, haw, or stall--
We'll run from the ants, or we’ll feed Them!

Paul Truster

Little Sandy Descher, traumatized by THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Orphans of the Swarm

She wanders alone on the prairie
Won't respond 'cause she's grown rather wary
Standing stock still she'll pant
(She got shocked by an ant)
Way out yonder, them drones are quite scary.

David Cairns

Sandy Descher makes quite an entrance in THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Ant Got Your Toungue?

Them grow, and won't stay on the farm
We know insect spray does no harm
This dwarf, who is cute
Is made orphan, turns mute
And so, can't convey her alarm.

Sandy Descher, the first known survivor of THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954). Title by soft-spoken James Finn Garner.

My Dinner With Antre

Huge insects on screens are now crawling
Our skin's their cuisine--it's appalling
Either cease A-bomb testing
Or in peace we'll be resting
All finished, picked clean from their mauling.

Joan Weldon is startled by one of Them! (Gordon Douglas; 1954). Title by Limerwrecker of the outré, David Cairns.

Mean Cuisine

When the scientist pulls off a blooper,
Who fixes the mess? Why, the trooper!
Hoists his weapon and fires it
At THEM what requires it--
So now, who’s for Scrambled Eggs Super?

Paul Truster

James Whitmore, James Arness, and Joan Weldon find the giant ant's nest in THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

Eggs Over-Eaty

These terrible insects are whopping
Their scary-big infants keep popping
The bastards are hatching
Too fast for dispatching
Prepare, or your innards they're chopping.

James Whitmore, Joan Weldon, and James Arness explore the giant ant nest in Them! (Gordon Douglas; 1954). David Cairns laid the title.

The Plague's the Thing

Don't fall for big cricket or locust
It's all just a trick, hocus pocus
They're ugly, you bet
But bugs are no threat
When crawling through flicks out-of-focus.

Peter Graves defends himself against the lousy special effects in Beginning of the End (Bert I. Gordon; 1957). Title by plague-ridden James Finn Garner.

The Mass Menagerie

Post-war, movies sought a new mission
And formed it from nuclear fission;
They preached, as a warning
Freak creatures a-borning
And swarms of big bugs needin’ squishin’.

Paul Truster


Beginning of the End (Bert I. Gordon; 1957): An agricultural scientist grows gigantic vegetables using radiation, but the crops are eaten by locusts (aka grasshoppers), which quickly grow to a gigantic size and attack Chicago.

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ant-Munitions!

Their queen won't expect a bazooker
If that's not effective, we'll nuke 'er
Atomic..? Wait--no!
The bomb made Them grow!
Yet somehow we'll wreck Them--bet lucre!

Paul Truster and Surly Hack

James Arness helps load a bazooka in THEM! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).

National Ant-Them!

When these gi-ants need fuel, they will forage
Better hide, or they’ll chew you like porridge;
If you're lame and can't run
Better aim a big gun
Or that flamethrower cooling in storage.

Paul Truster

The ants surface in Them! (Gordon Douglas; 1954).