That’s History and He’s Sticking to It

From epoch to era he'd flounder
Now 'Hotep--or Kharis--has found her
And though she says "no"
He knows he's her beau
So schleps here and there just to hound her.  



In The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), Princess Ananka (Virginia Christine) is pursued by Kharis, the Mummy (Lon Chaney Jr.). Imhotep was the Mummy's name in the 1932 original. Title by sticky Donald B. Benson.

Roles Out the Barrel

As Talbot, was Lon often stinking?
Did he brawl as the Monster while drinking?
Was his dipso addiction
An Egyptian affliction?
Or did Alucard spawn glasses clinking?

David Cairns

What monster didn't Lon Chaney Jr. play? The above refers to Chaney in the following roles for Universal in the 1940s: Lawrence Talbot, aka the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's Monster, the Mummy, and Count Alucard, aka the son of Dracula. Says David, "Trying to cram in all of Lon's great horror roles. I think I broke my shoehorn."

Lush Hour

 

The Mummy's a mega step down.
A dummy, a leg-dragging clown.
The non-speaking role
Wounds Lon to the soul.
In rum by the keg he will drown.

Lon Chaney keeps mum in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Chaney silently trudged through three Mummy films.

Your Ghoul Friday

No matter the job, I'll apply
To batter and rob I'm your guy
As a boss you get raves
So let's toss a few graves!
What's that? Angry mob? Time to fly!

Dwight Frye and Colin Clive dig Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931). Title by Donald "Dwight Frye-Day" Benson.

Lover, Come Back From the Dead to Me

Our amour is forbidden, taboo!
You're too pure, I'm worm-ridden right through
I'm deceased, no Adonis
And the priests frown upon us
If you're sure, lift my lid, say "I do!"

David Cairns

Elyse Knox, Lon Chaney Jr, and Turhan Bey in Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).

Riddle of the Stinks

Is it wrong to continue to gripe
That the pong from his insides is ripe?
With such gross halitosis
Oh, it's no bed of roses
Breath as strong as a binful of tripe.

James Finn Garner

Tom Tyler and Dick Foran get up close and personal in The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940).

Nickel Odorous

When seats were all gummy and rusty
And restrooms were scummy and dusty
It was, I suspect,
No special effect
That made the old mummy films musty.

Donald B. Benson


 Ad and ballyhoo for the Universal double-bill of The Mummy's Tomb and Night Monster (1942).

Desiccated to You

For giving the eye to a chick,
He lived and he died rather quick
His verve and great passion
Preserved, in a fashion--
Now shriveled and dried is his schtick.

Lon Chaney Jr. is Kharis in The Mummy’s Ghost (Reginald Le Borg;1944). Title by Desi-Lunatic James Finn Garner.

Fritz, an Ass

He hasn't a thought in his head
This wazzock, this grotty wee ned
And no comfort he'll give
To the bum he helped live
Like Lazarus, brought from the dead.

David Cairns

Dwight Frye as Fritz in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931). Limerick Lexicon: "grotty", "wazzock" and "ned" are UK slang. grotty: unpleasant and of poor quality; unwell. wazzock: a stupid or annoying person. ned: a hooligan or petty criminal; a stupid or loutish boy or man.

The Mummy's Fume

This thing from a crypt isn't scentless
The stink it emits is relentless
One hell of a curse
What smell could be worse?
Latrines in deep pits that are vent-less?

Turhan Bey and George Zucco examine Lon Chaney Jr in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).

The Two, per Scent

Not steamy or spiffily slinky,
His dreamboat's a stiff, which is kinky
His lust is so old
It's dusty and cold
Unseemly, and sniff! rather stinky.

Kharis reaches into the sarcophagus of his beloved Princess Ananka. Lon Chaney Jr in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). Title by 98 percenter Donald Benson.

Better Dead Than Fed?

Regarding the Mummy, one question:
Just how does he manage digestion?
With his organs removed
It can’t be improved
In fact it might lead to congestion.

Paul Truster

Lon Chaney Jr. and John Carradine give up The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944).

The Immortal Mister’s Teas

This old wreck of a goon needs a hip
He's so peckish, you spoon him a sip
Who knows how he's survived
But he's now been revived
On your neck he will soon get a grip.

The Mummy is given a drink of tana leaves brew in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). Mister Donald Benson wrote the title.