Thursday, July 31, 2008

Daily Grind

You've no doubt noticed that we've changed our name. This was done to reflect that we are no longer a "Limerick Of The Day", but more of a limerick of the mood. We'll still post when the limerick strikes, so keep checking back for the occasional rhyme crime. Better yet, subscribe!



For cheesecake I'd choose an old era
When glamour adorned gals named Vera
They came from New Yawk
With nasally squawk
But dolled up quite nice in a "mirrah"

Ava Gardner "relaxes" at the beach

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Not-So-Sweet Basil

His Lena, a garish Hyena
(nightmarish in comics arena)
did bear such a pan
she'd scare any man--
From metal could strip the patina

To go to the Basil Wolverton website, click here

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Hideous Inky

A Wolverton, first name of Basil
Took pen to hand, found he was facile
At drawing weird faces
Which turned up in places
Like LIFE, MAD & PLOP, without hassle.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Not Far From the Madden Crowd

Brett Favre is revered in Green Bay
Unbeatable, so they all say
Last year he retired
Now wants to be hired
The question is "Where will he play?"

( a tip o' the helmet to Ezmeralda )

Friday, July 25, 2008

Moveable Feats

Baloney, salami, chopped liver
I wash them all down with Green River
I burp for a while
Producing a smile
That sends every chin all aquiver

Thursday, July 24, 2008


I'm off to the comic book con
with fan-geeks from hither and yon
But I should be kind
and keep it in mind
which side that my bread's buttered on

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

No News Is Bad News

The news is a slick TV show
that tells us what we want to know.
Some try to deny this
cite "liberal bias",
but networks support staus quo.

Now, some might dismiss this as raving,
but news shows are always flag-waving.
With troop supporting
instead of reporting,
the road to Iraq they were paving.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Unintelligent Design

Mosquito bites, they sure are a bitch, man
Providing that you're not an itch fan
A blunder this large
Means someone in charge
Missed seeing some jackanapes switch plans

Monday, July 21, 2008

Quiet Rite

The science of silence, astutley,
Is studied, of course, on the QT
No one breathes a word
No sound can be heard
And that, my dear friend, is its beauty

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Nothing to Fear But Fear Agent Himself

Defending the Earth from attack
Heath Huston paid aliens back
He blew up their world--
The wrong one (he hurled)--
Now drinks like there's no coming back

While boozing it through IV drip
he zips across space on his ship
What's that? Smells of death...
oh wait, that's his breath.
As hero, Fear Agent's a pip!

Heath Huston is the FEAR AGENT,
created by Rick Remender and Tony Moore
and published by Dark Horse Comics.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Stop Stairing At Me!

For tension, suspense or a chase,
the movies use stairs by the case.
Shoot down from the top
for vertiginous drop,
look up for a lover's embrace.

Just look at how Hitch takes the stairs,
His setting for so many scares.
His characters climb
one step at a time,
their victims to catch unawares.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Bend Over and Coffee

Each morning I wake, like a fiend
Not human until I've been beaned
Just smelling the roast
With eggs I am toast
From coffee I cannot be weaned

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Caffeine Without A Face

To slog in society's rut
I must have caffeine in my gut
Those brown roasted beans
Are the only means
To kick into gear my fat butt

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I Take This Corpse

I Married A Dead Man is sweet
A husband and wife never meet
He's stiff when they "wed"
That's some wedding bed
Another good Woolrich noir treat

With Stanwyck in film of the book
No Man of Her Own's worth a look
But filmmakers missed
with weak final twist
It cuts the best Woolrich plot hook

No Man of Her Own (Mitchell Leisen, 1950) For a brief
comparison of the book and film versions, go here.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Dead Drunk

The angel in black picks a dame
When she's strangled a sap's held to blame
A songwriting drunk
Helps his wife clear the hunk
Getting tangled in cat and mouse game

Dan Duryea and June Vincent in Black Angel (Roy William Neil, 1946).

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Wm. Irish In Us

In Woolrich a guy always wakes
The nightmares we're giving him shakes
He's trapped in a maze
Did he kill in a daze?
There's danger in each step he takes

A man with amnesia forgets
A life he once lived, now regrets
But which life is real?
His past may reveal
The Black Curtain's noir as it gets

William K. Irish is a pseudonym of crime suspense writer Cornell Woolrich.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Brain Food

A cannibal watching his waist
Sipped smoothies from heads ground to paste
Used bubble tea straw
But stuck in it, saw
An eyeball he missed in his haste

Friday, July 11, 2008

Shock and Awe Shucks

George Bush, on a mission from God
Gave war in Iraq White House nod
His “Don” of Defense
Pushed plan that was dense
With shock and awe shot his whole wad

They thought they’d be welcomed as friends
But factions there won’t make amends
When Bremmer, the fool
De-Ba'athed the job pool
Slim chance for a “victory” ends

Now McCain says he’ll “win” in Iraq
He’s hoping we’ll fall for that crock
No more misadventures
From guys needing dentures
We can’t take much more awe and shock

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Damned, Slammed

On viewers The Damned has inflicted
Depravities grandly depicted.
Is decadence shown
The filmmaker’s own?
Perhaps L.Visconti’s conflicted.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Bad Doggie-Style

A man once bent down on his knees
and begged his "good dog" pretty-please
Not knowing the hound
was playing around
The itch he can't scratch is from fleas

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Bush Whacked

To justice and law he's averse
Renditions and torture and worse
He's mired us in
A war sold on spin
His legacy now is a curse

He claims that he's been "born again"
I'd say he's that he's reached age of ten
A boy, not so bright
Who's started a fight
The next pres will have to say "when"

Monday, July 7, 2008

R.I.P. Cyd Charisse

Dance star of It's Always Fair Weather
Had legs just as long as forever
She sizzled so hot
She'd burn up the spot
And knock the boys down with a feather

Her Girl Hunt Ballet in Band Wagon
Gets every wolf's tail to start waggin'
You'll never forget
Her film noir brunette
There's Cyd and all else is foot draggin'

The clips above are from Band Wagon with Fred Astaire, and Singin' In The Rain with Gene Kelly. And here's a link to Charisse turning up the heat in and as Nicholas Ray's Party Girl.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Unnatural Nurture

Ralph Wiggum is some kind of dense
As dumb as a post on a fence
As adult he’ll do time
For some heinous crime
Bad parenting is his defense

The Simpsons © & TM Twentieth Century
Fox Film Corporation. All rights reserved.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Tit For Tat

I once wanted breasts like Madonna
To have and to hold when I'd wanna
Now, this may sound cold
But now that Mad's old
I want to have breasts like Rihanna

Friday, July 4, 2008

Downward Learning Curve

The U.S. has taken a hit
From president dumber than spit
What’s hard to explain
Is four-year refrain
Did all our intelligence quit?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Myrna Loy

The "perfect" screen wife, Myrna Loy
The dream of both Thin Man and boy 
She's charming and witty 
and...perfectly pretty 
Her deft repartee is a joy.


Before she was typed as a wife
she lived an exotic screen life
As Asian and vamp
she flirted with camp
Her gypsy caused marital strife. 

As Nora, with Asta and Nick 
her wit was both wicked and quick 
Her banter as sly 
as Martini’s were dry 
The tub-full they drank did the trick.


Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Herds of a Feather

A hippo bore plumage all marred
By blackest of goo, thick as lard
Dyslexical crew
Had barred him from zoo
But first had him feathered and tarred

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Explosive Allegations

Defending mad-bomber named Drury
A lawyer near blew up the jury
In closing remarks
He struck a few sparks
There’s evidence far as Missouri