Eat Drink Man Woman in the Window

 

Though the drink and the chick look delicious
He thinks it's a trick, is suspicious
Take care if a skirt
In her lair starts to flirt
If she's slinky and slick, she's malicious.


 

Joan Bennett offers Dan Duryea a drink in  The Woman in the Window (Fritz Lang, 1944).

Psy-Co-Habiting

Who can know what another might think
To what low a new lover could sink
From childhood what pain
Runs wild in their brain,
Earning dough for some mother-trained shrink.


Michael Redgrave and Joan Bennett in Secret Beyond the Door (1947), Fritz Lang's late entry in the 1940s Freudian fad. Title by Doctor of Psycho-ology, David Cairns.

His & Hearse

When next you are due to be wed
Run a check on your suitor instead
Look into his past
And the sins he's amassed
Those selected for woo might get dead.


Joan Bennett and Michael Redgrave in Fritz Lang's Secret Beyond the Door. Title by the easily engaged David Cairns.

Burning Down the Spouse

In the basement he's buried it deep
But the secret he's carried won't keep
She searches their house
To learn if her spouse
Is a freak...and she married the creep!



His secret, exploring, she'll learn
By giving the doorknob a turn
But the woe that she'll find
Will blow Joanie's mind
And she might end up stored in an urn.

Joan Bennett finds the Secret Beyond the Door ( Fritz Lang, 1947), a visually dense Freudian update on the Bluebeard story.

Secret Expirer

About murders this rat reminisces
Not purple and passionate kisses
More pleasing than sex

Is the squeezing of necks 

Most fervently that of his Mrs.

Michael Redgrave feels a compulsion to strangle wife Joan Bennett in Fritz Lang's Freudian nightmare, Secret Beyond the Door ( 1947).

Boudoir and Peace

He would speak of his rooms as "felicitous"
But not deign to explain with with explicitness
How each mate met her fate
To inflate the crime rate
These boudoirs have a certain illicitness.

David Cairns

Michael Redgrave and Joan Bennett in Secret Beyond the Door.

Window Undressing

One look at the lady's reflection
And this schnook gets a fateful erection
He's soon doing time
In a nightmare of crime
As a crook who's afraid of detection.

Edgar G. Robinson and dream girl Joan Bennett, The Woman in the Window (Fritz Lang, 1944).

A Girl, A Guy and a Prob

All it takes is a stupid misstep  
One mistake that'll ruin your rep
A single hot date
That seemed to go great
Till a wake with a body to schlep.


Joan Bennett and Edward G. Robinson in The Woman in the Window (Fritz Lang, 1944). Aside from David Cairns, can anyone name the film that this limerick's title is a play on? Come on, film buffs!

Sour Milquetoast

Poor Christopher Cross was a sucker
When kissing a butt he would pucker
Then he fell for a floozy
Who...well, wasn't choosy
Got pissed, took an ice pick and stuck her.


Edward G. Robinson met Joan Bennett on Fritz Lang's Scarlet Street.

Joan of Dark

To make it she's scratched and she's clawed
By apes she's been slapped at and pawed
Bought, bartered and sold,
Her heart's not of gold
No lady, Joan Bennett's a broad.



In the 1940s, Joan Bennett played a string of loose ladies and dark dames, and was a favorite of director Fritz Lang. Here she's a hooker in Lang's Scarlet Street, having her toenails done by milquetoast Edward G. Robinson. Read our earlier rhymes on Joan Bennett. Image source: Shadows and Satin. 

Mother, Slay I

His shrine to misogyny's apt
The mind in his noggin has snapped
Though his bride is the bomb,
He despises his mom,
And she finds the montage has her trapped.

Joan Bennett and Michael Redgrave in Secret Beyond the Door.

Diary of a Chamber Made

This lunatic's basement is filled
With rooms in which ladies were killed
To the smallest detail
They're installed without fail
Let's assume by the place she ain't thrilled.


Joan Bennett learns Michael Redgrave's Secret Beyond the Door (Fritz Lang, 1947). Redgrave gives a tour of his murder rooms here on YouTube. And our earlier limericking on this delirious damsel-in-distresser is right here on Limerwrecks.

Husband and Strife

A whirlwind romance and they wed
But the girl from the man should have fled
She married too soon
And was paired with a loon
Who's so squirelly he fancies her dead.

Michael Redgrave and Joan Bennett in Secret Beyond the Door ( Fritz Lang, 1947). That's right, post Vincent Price my mind is on the Fritz.

Secret Beyond the Door Man

To protect her the groom has to swear
But their wedding's a gloomy affair
What are vows to the louses
Who espouse killing spouses,
And collect rooms of doom in their lair?


Rosa Rey, Michael Redgrave, Joan Bennett and Natalie Schafer in Secret Beyond the Door (Fritz Lang, 1947).

Bride and Doom

You'll be bound to a morbid life mate
Live surrounded by horror and hate
Your bridal bouquet
Will dry and decay
Turn around now before it's too late.


Joan Bennett approaches the altar in Secret Beyond the Door ( Fritz Lang, 1947).

Little Boy Bluebeard

This couple is growing estranged      
The trouble is Romeo's changed
He builds recreations        
Of killer locations  

Yes, hubby's a yo-yo, deranged.


Newlywed Michael Redgrave creeps out bride Joan Bennett with his Secret Beyond the Door (Fritz Lang, 1947). Sort of a mash-up of Rebecca and the Bluebeard tale, this might be the most visually dense and subtle film from Hollywood's Freudian fling in the 1940s.     I said visually subtle. Image source: As Cool as a Fruitstand.

A Room with a Boo

Left alone in his horrible home
Wife Joan would through corridors roam
The most frightening space
In this nightmarish place?
In its owner's unfortunate dome.



Joan Bennett seeks the Secret Beyond the Door ( Fritz Lang, 1947). Image source: The Daily Notebook.

Unhinged Beyond the Door

Did he marry his Mrs. for dough?
Since they paired she's suspicious it's so
There's a wing of weird rooms

Where a mystery looms
And she's scared it's a murderer's row.

Joan Bennett and Michael Redgrave share a Secret Beyond the Door (Fritz Lang, 1947). Image source: The Daily Notebook. Can't get enough Lang? There's more here.

Secret Beyond the Door Prize

Her new husband has something he's hiding
On this subject their marriage is riding
His mansion is roomy
Plus clammy and gloomy
It's a nuthouse in which they're residing.


Joan Bennett and Michael Redgrave share a Secret Beyond the Door (Fritz Lang, 1947). Image source: The Daily Notebook.

Grim Pickens

It's murder to yearn for a chick
And learn she's been turning a trick
But when Christopher's cross
He shows Kitty who's boss,
And perforates her with a pick.


Edward G. Robinson and Joan Bennett meet on Scarlet Street (Fritz Lang, 1945). Image source: Cinema of the World