Doom and Board

A surfer dude headed for shore
'cause riding small waves was a bore
Before he got in
he spotted a fin
and now he hangs ten in his gore

The Splinter of Our Discontent

A semi-nude banister ride
works best as a slippery slide
If I may be candid
I hope the rail's sanded
or she could hurt more than her pride

Painting by Gil Elvgren.

Furry Worry

When posed on a rug that is fur
one shouldn't be smoking like her
Just flicking an ash
could lead to a flash
and third degree burns you'd incur

Lizabeth Scott in Desert Fury (Lewis Allen, 1947).
Source: Matthew C. Hoffman's Film Noir photos.

So-So Sorry

Forgive me, I'm so impolite

I squeezed the darn trigger too tight
But now, when I read,
you'll have to concede,
my husband will not block the light

Norm and Surly

Ball's Bearing

An athlete who cheated and schtupped
as ‘Player’ met ending abrupt
When wife caught him cheating
he got such a beating
he wished his equipment was cupped

Kissed Me Deadly

My hatches she said I should batten
However, she told me in Latin
She caught me off guard
and kissed me so hard
the front of my face is now flattened

Walk, Don't Run Over

Most stop at the line, as they should
or else at the walk, which is good
But some cross all lines
and drive through the signs,
pedestrians piled on the hood

Welcome Back Ache

When one of them started to ache
the thing-with-two-backs took a break

But soon it subsided
and once more two-sided

the thing and the bedframe did shake

Terminal Disease

Computers will ruin your eyes
and won't do a lot for your thighs
We sit and we stare
at cancerous glare
while reading blogged rumors and lies

This is Spinal Snap

Old hubby of nympho, Louise
felt spine crack, then suddenly seize
Sating wifey neurotic
in position exotic
he'd bent over backwards to please