Check his pulse, is his heart again beating?
Yes, this bulk from spare parts death is cheating
Thus, once more he will wander
And his morbid thoughts ponder
Though for hulks without smarts thoughts are fleeting.
Edgar Norton is Benson, Boris Karloff the Monster, Béla Lugosi Ygor, and Basil Rathbone Wolf, aka the Son of Frankenstein (1939).
Basil's castle can comfortably house
Both his spouse and this louse in a blouse
While Basil is chiseled
Poor Bela's be-grizzled
But between them big Boris they'll rouse.
David Cairns Son of Frankenstein stars the three Bs:BélaLugosi as Ygor, Basil Rathbone as Wolfgang vonFrankenstein, and Boris Karloff as the (snoozing) monster. Image source: Doctor Macro's Movie Scans.
Yes, he best likes a lass with loose morals
But ain't resting his ass on his laurels
This big stinker will please
When he sinks to his knees
And the test that he passes is oral.
Richard Conte slides out of frame -- and view of the censors -- in The Big Combo (1955). The actress is Jean Wallace, and when her co-star and husband Cornell Wilde finally saw this scene he was not happy.
When parting his dastardly lips
This smartypants bastard makes quips
And the words he emits
In a verbal-bomb blitz
Are all artfully acid-dipped pips.
Lydecker: "If you come a little bit closer, my boy, I can just crack your skull with my walking stick." Lydecker: (snootily) Very well. I hope you'll never regret what promises to be a disgustingly earthy relationship. Lydecker: (callously) Let me put it this way. I should be sincerely sorry to see my neighbors' children devoured by wolves. Shall we go? Clifton Webb is Waldo Lydecker, and Gene Tierney is Laura (Otto Preminger; 1944). Title by smart aleck David Cairns.
Like Marat, Waldo writes in the tub
Each bon mot he types smites like a club
This most vicious old queen
Like a fish, epicene,
Soaks his rottenness, rub a dub dub.
Absent from movie screens since 1930, actor Clifton Webb returned to film as acerbic columnist and radio personality Waldo Lydecker in Laura (Otto Preminger; 1944). Webb as Lydecker has many memorable lines in the film:
“I don’t use a pen. I write with a goose quill dipped in venom.” “I’m not kind, I’m vicious. It’s the secret of my charm.” “In my case, self-absorption is completely justified. I have never discovered any other subject quite so worthy of my attention.”
Raksin's score to this mystery's haunting
But amor for dead misses is daunting
Though she's only a dream,
All alone he will steam
For her portrait's a bliss that is taunting.
Dana Andrews is obsessed with the portrait of Laura (1944), played by Gene Tierney. David Raksin wrote the memorable music, and Johnny Mercer later put lyrics to the theme. When asked why she had turned down the part of Laura, Hedy Lamarr said, "They sent me the script, not the score." With over 100 film scores and 300 television scores to his credit, Raksin became known as the "Grandfather of Film Music."
We trust you enjoyed this year's October-long countdown. Stick around for more Frankenstein fun in November and December.
Welcome to LimerWrecks, a more funny than filthy take on the humble limerick. Our focus is on film, but we've written rhymes about almost everything. Use the search bar above or the labels list below to find limericks by word or subject matter.
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The Universal Frankenstein films...in limericks!
Our chronological five-lined Frankenstein fun-fest lives on, restored to life on 1/25/2013.
The Weak and the Wicked
LimerWrecks is Limericks
This is a blog of limericks. What we have here are limericks -- lots and lots of limericks. I said limericks. Limericks, limericks, limericks. Plus limericks. In short, LimerWrecks is all about the limericks. And, if you act NOW, you'll get more limericks!
We started our centennial tribute to Vincent Price on May 17, 2011, here. This monster marathon was our part in the annual Countdown to Halloween. It crawled along until it breathed its last on March 17, 2012.
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