Sarcophagi and Gal

Oh, no! It's that freaky old Mummy
Although he can't speak, he's no dummy
His parts have all dried
But his heart's still inside
And so he still seeks to get chummy.

Yvonne Furneaux is faced with Christopher Lee as Kharis, The Mummy (1959).

A Bum, Wrapped

Back from death comes a creaking old mummy
Looking weathered, it's reeking and scummy
Shorn of tongue, never talks
While a young maid it stalks
Spewing breath that's unspeakably crummy.

Surly Hack with Donald B. Benson

Yvonne Furneaux is carried away by Christopher Lee in The Mummy (Terence Fisher; 1959), the first of four Mummy films from Hammer Films.

Voyage to the Bottom of Chris Lee

In The Lord of the Rings Lee's a smash
Strikes a chord playing things that act rash
As a ghoul he's true boo
Like his cool Fu Manchu
He'd have scored playing Ming versus Flash.

Christopher Lee as Saruman in The Lord of the Rings trilogy (Peter Jackson; 2001–2003).

Guess Who's Yummy For Dinner?

Drac was given obscene final rites
Yet still "lives" on cuisine he eats nights
And each virginal dish
Finds his urges delish
As they quiver, he leans in and bites.

 

Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave  (Freddie Francis; 1968).

The Mummy's Cursed

Once more you're the thing, what a shock
The gore you must fling, heads you'll knock
These heavies won't end
Dear heaven, forfend!
What a bore is this string of pure schlock.

 

Christopher Lee is The Mummy (Terrence Fisher; 1959). Yvonne Furneaux is Isobel Banning / Princess Ananka. The film derives its plot and characters entirely from two 1940s Universal films, The Mummy's Hand and The Mummy's Tomb, with the climax borrowed directly from The Mummy's Ghost. Title via the cursor of David Cairns. (Info via Wikipedia)

Babe-Hound of the Baskervilles

He ought to seek clues to unmask her.
She's hot, so he won't think to ask her.
Someday, but for others,
He'll play both Holmes brothers
And not just a horny young Basker.

Donald B. Benson



Christopher Lee (Sir Henry Baskerville) gets cozy with Marla Landi (Cecile Stapleton) in The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959). Lee played Mycroft Holmes in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace.

Moors the Pity

Walk the moor through the thickets and fog

You'll endure pits of quicksand and bog

And traversing the mire

Mutter curses, perspire...

Just be sure you're not licked by the dog.

Christopher Lee as Sir Henry Baskerville, and André Morell as Doctor Watson in The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959).

Go to Helsing

There's no slaking Drac's deep, bloody lust
But don't wake him -- get people you trust
Prof Van Helsing's the champ
At repelling the vamp
With one stake, the old creep turns to dust.



Peter Cushing is Professor Abraham Van Helsing, and Christopher Lee is the Count, in Dracula, aka Horror Of Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958).

Man Of a Thousand Races

Fu Manchu is a tall, English bloke
And guess who plays this thing in a cloak?
On the banks of the Nile
He looks rank, but has style
Just a few of Lee's string of strange folk.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee played many famous and exotic fictional characters. Here he is as Fu Manchu, Dracula, and the Mummy.

Fright In the Kisser!

With a face like a wad of chewed gum
This disgrace looks quite shoddy and dumb
He shambles about
And then, BLAM! blood will gout
Is he wasted? The sod won't succumb!

David Cairns

Christopher Lee's putty-nosed creature somehow survives a bullet to the face in The Curse of Frankenstein (Terence Fisher;1957).

Curses! Soiled again!

The monster's a mess, diabolic
A nonsense, distressed, spawn of Moloch
When they view him onscreen
People spew vivid green
A response more-or-less Jackson Pollock.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee is a memorable monster in The Curse of Frankenstein (Terence Fisher;1957).

Perversatility

From a flask all a-foam Lee's been sipping
As a Baskerville, home comes with yipping
As a mummy, all swathed
He looks scummy, unbathed
From a casket he'll roam and start nipping.

David Cairns



From David: "The late Christopher Lee played most of the classic horror roles, from a version of Jekyll and Hyde in I, Monster, to Kharis the Mummy in The Mummy, to Dracula in a slew of Hammer horrors. He also played Sir Henry Baskerville in The Hound of the Baskervilles, not to mention Mycroft Holmes in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace."



Images: I, Monster (Stephen Weeks; 1971); The Mummy (Terence Fisher; 1959); The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959)

Gone With the Windpipe

 
His lust is inspired by her nape
And he must quench its fire, mouth agape
Her jugular vein
Makes him bug-eyed, insane
And her bust lights a pyre 'neath his cape.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee chomps on Isla Blair in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970). Title by doggone Donald B. Benson.

Necks in Line

Their throats are the bits he does crave
So he floats from the pit of his grave
And his canines he'll sink
In some jane, then he'll drink
Until, bloated, he's spit-roast by stave.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee, Isla Blair and Linda Hayden in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970).

Why Dracula Rises Again

Into bedrooms, eyes gleaming, he'll steal
Where the ready young females will peel
But it's hunger, not lust
For a young, heaving bust--
This undead craves a steamy, hot meal.        

Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by early riser Donald B. Benson.

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Darkness

A grim reaper who bites on the throat
He would sweep through the night and then gloat
By his crimson-lined shroud
All the bimbos were wowed
He would creep up, alight, and emote.

David Cairns

Veronica Carlson and Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Going Down for the Count

Film odysseys dripping with gore
With bodices ripping galore!
With nothing to hide
Each gothic vamp bride
Immodestly strips on the floor.

Christopher Lee and devotees in a publicity still for Dracula A.D. 1972 (Alan Gibson; 1972). No such scene appears in the film, naturally. Count on Donald B. Benson for a title.

As You Spike It

Never fool with these sickos, don't toy
They're too ghoulish and wicked, me boy
When you're near the undead
Keep a clear, level head
Run 'em through with a stick and destroy!



Barry Andrews and Ewan Hooper drive a stake through Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by Donald B. Benson, as we like it.

Never Give a Bloodsucker an Even Break

For this shifty old creep hold a wake
When he drifts off to sleep, kill the snake!
Don't sweat it, don't soften
Just get to his coffin
Strike swiftly and deep with a stake.

Christopher Lee has his hands full in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Dracula Has Risen From the Gravy

With gore on his lips he's done eating
Once more to his crypt he's retreating
And then, the next night,
Again he will bite
These horror film scripts keep repeating.

Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).