Friday, June 11, 2021
Your story was just getting started
Exploring a lust yet uncharted
Though she's bones now, deceased
Your jonesing's increased
Amor with the musty departed.
Art by Bernard Bailey; Weird Mysteries #12 (September 1954)
Thursday, June 10, 2021
You're spunky, well-coiffed, far too young
He's funky, like coffin-grade dung
That taste in your mouth
Like waste that's gone south...
From chunks that fall off of his tongue.
Art by Lee Elias; Chamber of Chills #23 (1954).
Wednesday, June 9, 2021
A figure, all ghostly and dried
Is digging a hole...but who died?
It's terrible news:
They're wearing your shoes
The jig's up, now go--get inside!
Suspense #19 (1952); art by Russ Heath. Okay, what's with the bucket of water?
Tuesday, June 8, 2021
Cover by Russ Heath for Adventures into Terror #16, February, 1953.
Monday, June 7, 2021
Monday, April 26, 2021
This sister is rotten, a nut
In a twisted noir plot she's been shut
Her love is tremendous
Above all, horrendous
She'll be kissed and then shot in the gut.
Kirk Douglas and Barbara Stanwyck in The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946).
Friday, April 23, 2021
And ghastly are dreams she confesses
Awaiting her fate
She's fatal to date
Her past is a scream she supresses.
Kirk Douglas,Van Heflin, and Barbara Stanwyck in The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946).
Sunday, April 4, 2021
It's Easter, give praise, do not mourn
Your deceased savior's raised and reborn
But these dead, now alive
Open heads to survive
And will feast on your brains Sunday morn.
Pasty-faced extras lurch through Night of the Living Dead (1968). Our title is by David Cairns, and is a nod to Zombies 2, aka Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979). We're going to hell in an Easter basket for resurrecting this blasphemous limerick each year.
Monday, March 29, 2021
Monday, February 22, 2021
Some fellow has taken my place
A felon -- a fake -- with my face
Steals my pup and my life
Plus he's schtupping my wife
Invading my personal space!
Barry Nelson returns home one day to find his doppelganger has replaced him in The Man with My Face (Edward Montagne; 1951).
Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Filmmaker, screenwriter, teacher, critic, and LimerWrecks contributor David Cairns is a busy fellow. He's just finished a novel, We Used Dark Forces: A Whitsuntide Science Adventure, which you can purchase or read about here. David's mad scientist character Whisuntide is featured in his short film The Northleach Horror, free to watch here. I'm a big fan of David's deadpan comedy short, Cry For Bobo -- which you can watch here. David also co-directed and wrote the screenplay for the feature documentary, Natan. And don't forget to visit David's lively and informative blog Shadowplay. Like I said, a busy fellow.
Wednesday, January 27, 2021
LimerWrecks contributor Donald B. Benson is a retired staff writer for the San Jose Mercury News. He takes pictures of discarded furniture and other curious items, and writes limericks. He's also published his first novel, Her Temporary Prince, which you can read about and/or purchase here.
"...a lively farce of crossed wires and competing schemes. What happens afterwards is still farcical ... but fraught with action, cliffhangers, spectacle, love, tears, and Ballyhoo -- the fads, follies and celebrity worship that made the twenties roar.
If you loved "The Prisoner of Zenda", you'll enjoy this affectionate but freewheeling return to Ruritania. It comes complete with passion, daring-do, and even a helping hand from an old Englishman named Rassendyll.
PS: "Her Temporary Prince" contains a little over 223,000 words, so in addition to rich, fleshed-out narrative you're getting Value for Money. And you can be reasonably sure you won't run out of book if you're reading during an airport layover (when you don't want to waste the bestseller you're taking on vacation), or in a DMV line, or over several days of commuting."
Tuesday, January 26, 2021
Wednesday, January 20, 2021
It's the end of a term of insanity
Time to mend, reaffirm our humanity
But Ted Cruz remains toxic
There's still Newsmax and Fox-ick
With "and Friends" and such worms as Sean Hannity.
President Evil and spouse are forced by the constitution to leave Washington.
Monday, January 18, 2021
Kevin Nowlan! Kevin Nowlan!
With talent Kevin's hands are swollen!
His style so sweet
It can't be beat!
Instead his stuff is often stolen!
Saturday, January 16, 2021
Friday, January 15, 2021
Her mom and her pop can't be squarer
But let her drive fast
And she gets quite a blast
Atomic jalopies spread terror!
Lobby cards for Hot-Rod Girl (Leslie H. Martinson; 1956) promised Teen-age Terrorists burning up the streets!
Thursday, January 14, 2021
As car crazy knot-heads play "chicken"
Though racing high-speed
Is bracing indeed
Sub-par soup and plots never thicken.
UK poster for Hot-Rod Girl (Leslie H. Martinson; 1956).
Wednesday, January 13, 2021
It has a Deep Thought for its day
That Nuke-U-Ler War’s not okay;
But for all of its' strivin’
The kids at the drive-in
Aren’t watching the screen anyway.
Teenage Caveman (Roger Corman; 1958) stars Robert Vaughn and Darah Marshall.
Tuesday, January 12, 2021
This hottie's a bitch but a blast
Her motto's "get rich and live fast"
You better have nerves
To handle her curves
She'll rot in a ditch, but die last.
Bad Blonde aka The Flanagan Boy (Reginald Le Borg; 1953) was made by Hammer Films. Wishing a happy birthday to longtime LimerWrecks reader Tim Roznowski.
Monday, January 11, 2021
Though you'd think from their dresses they're bad,
The delinquents in question are sad
They're deflated, they're bruised
And by matrons abused
And this shrink -- more or less -- becomes "dad."
So Young, So Bad (Bernard Vorhaus; 1950) stars Paul Henreid as the sympathetic psychiatrist, with early roles for Anne Francis and Rita Moreno. This low-budget independent production is an expose of abuses at a girls reformatory, conceived and directed by just blacklisted director Vorhaus. Sort of a juvenile version of Caged (1950).
Friday, January 8, 2021
Thursday, January 7, 2021
But ads they believed
Film cads had conceived
Not a thigh, flank or middle was sighted.
Wednesday, January 6, 2021
But appeal of this hack-job ain't plot
Just glance at the scheming
Joi Lansing, hi-beaming
This dealer's chick's stacked on the lot.
Joi Lansing works for a crooked used car dealer in Hot Cars (Don McDougall; 1956). It's obvious they're not selling cars here.
Tuesday, January 5, 2021
This horror's a permanent lull
A snore-fest -- the term here is "dull"
There's hate and there's killing
But mate, it ain't thrilling
From boredom you'll squirm, scratch your skull.
Paul Lukather, James Stapleton, Joan Harvey, and Michael Rye in the earnest-but-awful talkathon Hands of a Stranger (Newt Arnold; 1962). Hard to believe that this inept junk is based on the same story as is the brilliant Mad Love (1935).