Friday, January 31, 2014

Jolly Sci

Heat up beakers, form theories, twist dials
Pour unspeakable serums in vials
When you're not in your lab
You feel rotten, life's drab
Science geek, when you're here you're all smiles.

Hunchbacked Nina assists Dr. Edelmann: Jane "Poni" Adams and Onslow Stevens in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Three Weirdos and a Funeral

One has bolts, one a cloak, one a pelt
With no soul, in the sun one will melt
One's a killer when lupine
But whom silver sends supine
The big dolt burns to smoke where he dwelt.

David Cairns

Dracula, the Wolf Man and Frankenstein's Monster all crowd into House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton, 1945).

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Quietus Riotous

For this giant, no final repose
He can't die, but he goes through the throes
Though more corpse than alive,
He, of course, will survive
When revived for declining freak-shows.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) finally rises, taking on the law in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). With Lionel Atwill (right).

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Unlucky Stiff

Though the doctor who aids him's a ranter,
The big blockhead can't trade snappy banter
With a brain clearly rotted
It's quite plain that he's potted
And no shock he's displayed like a planter.

Dr. Edelmann directs the Monster: Glenn Strange and Onslow Stevens in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Monday, January 27, 2014

Homicidal Roomers

It's a house that is deeply unsound
In it louses and creeps run around
They are guests, odd, assorted
But would would best be aborted
By its Faustian keeper, white-gowned.

David Cairns

Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) waves a cross at a top-hatted Count Dracula (John Carradine) in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). With Martha O'Driscoll, Jane "Poni" Adams, and Lon Chaney Jr, still in a bathrobe.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Multiple Organisms

Vampire John is out seeking some gore
Wolf Man Lon gives a shriek and a roar
Monster Glenn seems to freeze
On unbendable knees
It's been argued that less equals more.

David Cairns

John Carradine is Count Latos, aka Dracula, Lon Chaney Jr is the Wolf Man, and Glenn Strange is the immobile Monster: House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Saturday, January 25, 2014


One officious inspector named Holtz
A suspicious collection of dolts
Add goons awful and sly
And soon lawman will fry
Through pernicious subjection to volts.

Above: Dr.Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) pushes Inspector Holtz (Lionel Atwill) into the lab equipment. Top: Inspector Holtz (Lionel Atwill) and Steinmuhl (Skelton Knaggs). House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Fuzzy David Cairns coined the title.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Full House of Dracula

Now the monsters are forming a throng
Our response? "It's abnormal and wrong!"
With the fanged and the hairy
And the banged-up and scary
Says Herr Hans, "Next they'll warm up King Kong!"

David Cairns

Led by the suspicious Steinmuhl, a crowd of curious villagers gathers in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Steinmuhl is played by a character actor with the magical moniker Skelton Knaggs.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sparks and Recreation

Lightning bolts are released as from Zeus
Sending jolts, he increases the juice
The doc cackles because,
With a crackle and buzz,
A big dolt, once deceased, is set loose.          

Doc Edelmann finally charges up the Monster: Onslow Stevens and Glenn Strange in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Bat Influence

Latos molds this physician like putty
Thus controlled, his condition grows nutty
Soon his actions, erratic,
Are off-track Hippocratic
Lo, the road to perdition is rutty.

In House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945), the blood of Count Latos, aka Dracula (John Carradine), has an ill-effect on Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens), who tears out the throat of his gardener, Siegfried (Ludwig Stossel).Title by limerick-fluent David Cairns.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Edelmann on Fire

Though he stays in Count Dracula's pad --
Which is crazy -- this doc isn't bad
When his blood was transfused
He grew muddled, confused
Eyes ablaze now, he's cracked and gone mad.

Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens), hits the roof in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by David Cairns, of the fiery breath.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Dr. Acula

In a vast, ancient manor he's stuck
When a nasty vamp randomly struck
The effects are traumatic
Around necks he's erratic
With this ghastly new fancy to suck.

His blood tainted by that of Dracula, Dr Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) gets the monster lighting in House of Dracula (1945). Title by David Cairns, Doctor of Entitlement.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Suction Chump

Now quite supine to tabletop strapped
Of the lupine he's ably sapped
But the full of the moon
Has a pull on this goon
His blood group makes his grey cells adapt.

David Cairns

Milizia (Martha O'Driscoll, left) and hunchbacked Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams, right) assist Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) in an operation on lycanthropic Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr): House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Lichen Thrope

Larry's nervous when moonlight takes hold
Feral fury just can't be controlled
But the doctor informs him
Pressure shocks and transforms him
And his cure is a this plant that grows mold.

Doc Edelmann believes that Larry Talbot's transformations are not triggered by moonlight, but by pressure on the brain, and believes he can use the mold from a mysterious plant to alter his skull, and cure him of his lycanthropy. The wonders of movie science! Onslow Stevens and Lon Chaney Jr in House of Dracula (1945). Title by lichen-minded David Cairns.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Gown Among the Dead Men

Larry lopes through the night round the globe
In the hopes someone might right his lobe
In Doc Edelmann's care
His poor head will repair
And the mope's quite a sight in a robe.

I don't know about you, but I find it amusing to see Lon Chaney Jr, as Larry Talbot, traipsing around in a bathrobe in House of Dracula (1945). Also pictured are Onslow Stevens as Doc Edelmann, Jane "Poni" Adams, and Martha O'Driscoll. Title by David Cairns, head writer among the dead men.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Plague Misty For Me

Built his practice with steady incisions,
But this quack's made some dreadful decisions
Now his cells have been tainted
And with hell he's acquainted
Check out wacky Doc Edelmann's visions...

A ghostly Dracula (John Carradine) beckons to Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Mad Hair Day

At his future, fate gave him a peek
What he's viewed is depraved, grim and bleak
Mouth a-foam and unkempt,
From a combing exempt:--
Not shampooed, or a raving mad freak?

Dr. Edelmann has prophetic visions: Onslow Stevens, Onslow Stevens, and Glenn Strange in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by hair-brained David Cairns.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Hunchback From the Dead

The doctor she works for is hateful
Of poxes and quirks has estate-full
With a cackle and smirk
The old quack goes berserk
Off his rocker, the jerk proves a plateful.

Infected by the blood of Dracula, Dr Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) strangles hunchback Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by deadly David Cairns.

Monday, January 13, 2014

From Bad to Nurse

Both comely yet bent she's created
Nina's glum 'cause no gent has she dated
Astronomic on top
She was promised an op
But doc's scum, so she's defenestrated.

Poor little hunchback Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) works for Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) in House of Dracula (1945).

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Doctor and Worse

With a sore, tortured spine she's persisting
And what's more, still benignly assisting
This mad doctor, once sane,
Who's now rocking a mane;
His performance the finest ham-fisting.

House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945): Hunchback Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) keeps an eye on the increasingly erratic Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens).Title by David Cairns, none the worse for verse.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Strange Daze

Out to lunch, clearly missing a cog
Out he'll punch, soundly sleep like a log
He's too pooped to exert
And lies supine, inert
With no hunchback to give him a flog.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) kicks back in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). He gets a break here, but the Monster was whipped by hunchbacks in two previous films. Title by David Cairns, no stranger to LimerWrecks. 

Friday, January 10, 2014

Crowded House of Dracula

The unlucky assistant is hunching
In a structure where "its" commence bunching
Like sardines they are packed
As a means to attract
The big bucks. (says accounts number-crunching)

In House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945), the hunchbacked Nina (Jane "Poni" Adams) keeps an eye on Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr), Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens), and the Monster (Glenn Strange).

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Dramatis Personae Non Grata

What a swarm of old crackpots, reborn
All from formulas hackneyed and worn
Each a boring cliché
Of a horror passe
Now rewarmed for this smackdown, forlorn.

House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945) features Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and the Wolf Man, all on their last, wobbly legs. The person who came up with the title is David Cairns.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Schlock Treatment

Though he often sleeps during the day,
A small cross keeps this vermin at bay
Now this sneak in a cape
Says he's seeking escape
Can some boffin vamp-cure him? No way!

Dr. Edelmann (Onslow Stevens) waves a cross at a top-hatted Count Dracula (John Carradine), in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). With Martha O'Driscoll, in a trance. Title by David Cairns, who is schlock solid.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Hell-Bent Double

A once supple young actress, bent double
All puffed up, like her back has a bubble
Tries to straighten, in vain
All that weight is a strain
She might rupture, spine cracking to rubble.

Jane "Poni" Adams portrays the hunchbacked Nina in House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by hellboychik David Cairns.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Three's a Shroud

There's old Vlad, a grim reaper, and rotter
Monster addled, asleep or a-totter
And a Wolf Man with fleas
Who's chock-full of unease
All post-grads from some creep alma mater.

John Carradine, Glenn Strange and Lon Chaney Jr play the terrible trio in La Mansión de Drácula, (House of Dracula; Erle C. Kenton; 1945). Title by triple-threat David Cairns.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Tower of Glower

He stands oddly atop of his perch
A big clod who could drop with one lurch
With his parentage murky,
Climbing stairs a bit jerky,
He's the product of sloppy research.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) strikes a publicity pose for House of Dracula (Erle C. Kenton; 1945).

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Conductivity Unbecoming

None too quick, and verbose he is not
A bit thick, what he knows equals squat
Through his neck's metal bolts
He connects to live volts
He looks sick, but he'll give you a swat.

The Monster is recharged: Glenn Strange in House of Dracula (1945).

Friday, January 3, 2014

Dire Restraint

On this guy no need using a strap
He's compliant, and chooses to nap
If the dolt's brawn's required
Both his bolts have been wired
And the giant renews with a zap.

Glenn Strange takes it easy as The Monster in House of Dracula (1945). With Jane "Poni" Adams, Lon Chaney Jr and Onslow Stevens.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Decline and Foul

He was mighty, but none too balletic,
Though this titan was once energetic
Now his power declines
Thick of brow, he reclines
He can't fight it, the dunce is pathetic.

By the time of House of Frankenstein and Dracula (Erle C. Kenton, 1944, 1945), the Monster (Glenn Strange) was a shadow of his former greatness. Title by the well-inclined David Cairns.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Spew Year's Day

Spirits high, in a holiday mood,
Ev'ry guy and his doll's getting stewed
But come morning, next day
They adorn the bidet,
Bloodshot eyes, their skin olive green-hued.

Happy New Year from the gang at LimerWrecks! We trust that your New Year's Day is without regret.