Formula Won

No target too tall for a zinger,
The Marxes put all through the wringer
Said Metro, "That's stupid!
They better play Cupid."
So Barta gives Thalberg the finger.

The Marx Brothers with "Boy Wonder" Irving Thalberg, head of production at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Seen in retrospect, A Night at the Opera, first film for MGM, marked the beginning of a tamer Marx Brothers. From Wikipedia: "In their Paramount films, the brothers' characters were much more anarchic: they attacked anybody who was so unfortunate to cross their paths whether they deserved it or not, albeit comically. Thalberg, however, felt that this made the brothers unsympathetic, particularly to female filmgoers. So in the MGM films, the brothers were recast as more helpful characters, saving their comic attacks for the villains."

Cutie on the Q.T.

For Harpo no dialog's written
But sharp eyes espy when he's smitten 
When a blonde wanders near
That he's fond will be clear
He'll carpe the viable kitten.

Harpo with Marion Martin in The Big Store (Charles Reisner; 1941). The brassy, curvaceous Martin was dubbed "Hollywood's blonde menace." 

They Are The Leg Men

These sleazy old hams like the views
When easing young lambs into shoes
From thighs down to toes,
Their eyes ogle hose
As pleasing, curved gams they peruse.

The Marx Brothers run the shoe department in The Big Store (Charles Reisner; 1941). With Margaret Dumont, Virginia Grey, and Marion Martin. Title by leggy Donald Benson.

I Only Have Thighs For You

Two characters, showing some shin
He stares, gives the ol' knowing grin
One limb, though, is wrong
And doesn't belong
It's bare, and who knows where it's been.

Harpo Marx, Marion Martin and a mannequin leg in The Big Store (Charles Reisner; 1941).

Pop-eye Culture Reference

So, Popeye was born in a trunk?
What shopworn and worn out old bunk!
Without Bluto to bludgeon
This snooty curmudgeon
Would stop such forlorn, pointless junk.



From Puttin’ on The Act (1940), in which Popeye and Olive Oyl dust off their routine from their days in vaudeville, including Popeye's impressions of Jimmy Durante, Stan Laurel, and Groucho Marx. The cartoon is unremarkable, but it does have some fine hoofing by noodle-limbed Olive. Title by pop-eyed Donald B. Benson.

Wolf in Cheap Clothing

Store detective Wolf Flywheel's afoot
He's expecting to pry loose some loot
From Margaret Dumont
But he's far from gallant
He'd collect if his wisecracks were cute.

David Cairns

Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx) romances store owner Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont) in The Big Store (Charles Reisner; 1941).

Curly Burly

These stars make a fair-haired film pair
It's hard not to stare and compare
Both fond of their tops
Two blonde curly mops
Only Harpo can carry a spare.

Thelma Todd and Harpo in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932).

Axe and Ye Shall Receive

A harmless, naïve, blonde buffoon?
An alarming and devious goon?
Harpo acts like a child
But, in fact, he's just wild
And he's armed with a cleaver, the loon!

Harpo takes it literally in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). Title received from David Cairns.

Marxist Dogma

With his strawberry thatch, vacant gaze
His job is the catching of strays
Dogs, monkeys and parrots
Luring donkeys with carrots
Plus a bobby he'll snatch in a daze.

David Cairns

Harpo Marx plays an overzealous dogcatcher in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932).

Untenorable

A horribly snooty star singer
Puts poor blonde haired mute through the wringer
Rodolfo Lassparri
Is awfully sorry
When floored by a brutal bell-ringer.

In A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood; 1935), Tomasso (Harpo) knocks out his physically abusive boss, tenor Lassparri (Walter Woolf King). Title by off-coloratura Donald B. Benson.

Stateroom Obscene?

An innocent, breezy, mute jester?
Or insolent, sleazy molester?
When getting some Zs
He'll pet, paw, and seize...
He'd pin down and squeeze Lady Esther!

Harpo plays tackle in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Who is Lady Esther, you ask?

I'll Seize You in My Dreams

When Groucho's a man on the make,
We frown on the randy old rake,
He can't get a pass
To plant hand on -- lass.
But Harpo can, when unawake.

Donald B. Benson

Harpo gets away with pre-code groping in the code-approved A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Quips Groucho, "Y'know, he does better asleep than I do awake."

Somnambulist to Starboard

Never doze with this lout on a trip
In repose, he spreads out on the ship
Though he isn't awake
Harpo's still on the make
And so's his redoubtable grip.

Harpo gropes his way through the stateroom scene in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Title by bored-to-sleep David Cairns.

Touchy-Feely-Creepy

He's weary, can't open an eye
Stand near him, you hope he'll pass by
In repose he's a lech
While dozing he'll stretch  
From the rear he will grope on the fly.

Harpo is half-asleep and all hands in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).

The Defendant Rests

Declared a big-name legal scholar:
"Is Harpo fair game for a collar?
By law he's a creep
But ah, he's asleep.
His lullaby! Blame it on Mahler!"

Donald B. Benson

Harpo manhandles the help in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).

The Flunky's Paw

Harp glissandos imparted dexterity
Now his hands swiftly dart with celerity
He gets octopoid quickly
You'll be shocked! Are you tickly?
'Cause this randy upstart has temerity!

David Cairns

Harpo Marx is all over the ladies in Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Harpo plays Tomasso, "dresser" of opera singer Rodolfo Lassparri.

All Hands On Deckhands

A steamship's small cabin, congested
Its teeming inhabitants nested
But asleep where he stands
Is a creep who's all hands
So some females are grabbed as he's rested.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

A somnambulant Harpo Marx mauls the maids in Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). 

Wolf at the Store

Don't call on this flop, though he's famous
Walk tall when you shop for a shamus
Give the go-by to Flywheel
He's nobody's i-deal
If you fall for his slop, well, don't blame us!

David Cairns

Harpo photobombs Groucho and Margaret Dumont in a still from The Big Store (Charles Reisner;1941). Groucho plays private eye Wolf J. Flywheel.

The Skinny on Aunt Minnie

In this scene they keep jamming 'em in
Like sardines one might cram in a tin
And speaking of feeds
What this cheek-to-jowl needs:
Lean Cuisine, so the famished stay thin.

A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935).

In Like Fins

As stowaways barreled like herring
Each bro had a berth without sharing.
But this time, with means,
They're packed like sardines.
It's fishy how foully they're faring.

Donald B. Benson

Buster Keaton contributed to the visual comedy of the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers' A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). The Marxes were "stowaways barreled like herring" in Monkey Business (1931).