They Are The Leg Men

These sleazy old hams like the views
When easing young lambs into shoes
From thighs down to toes,
Their eyes ogle hose
As pleasing, curved gams they peruse.

The Marx Brothers run the shoe department in The Big Store (Charles Reisner; 1941). With Margaret Dumont, Virginia Grey, and Marion Martin. Title by leggy Donald Benson.

Wolf in Cheap Clothing

Store detective Wolf Flywheel's afoot
He's expecting to pry loose some loot
From Margaret Dumont
But he's far from gallant
He'd collect if his wisecracks were cute.

David Cairns

Wolf J. Flywheel (Groucho Marx) romances store owner Martha Phelps (Margaret Dumont) in The Big Store (Charles Reisner; 1941).

Wolf at the Store

Don't call on this flop, though he's famous
Walk tall when you shop for a shamus
Give the go-by to Flywheel
He's nobody's i-deal
If you fall for his slop, well, don't blame us!

David Cairns

Harpo photobombs Groucho and Margaret Dumont in a still from The Big Store (Charles Reisner;1941). Groucho plays private eye Wolf J. Flywheel.

Apocalypse Dowager

 

She's a classy, respectable lady
He's a sassy detective, and shady   
But this gumshoe and dame 
Can summon a flame
To surpass that of Mrs. O'Grady.

Margaret Dumont and Groucho Marx flirt in The Big Store (Charles Reisner;1941). Groucho plays private eye Wolf J. Flywheel.

Now, Dowager

She'd act matronly, playing a part 
But the haters won't say she was smart
Far from clueless old bag
Maggie knew from a gag
Playing "straight" for this lady was art.

Groucho Marx and Margaret Dumont in At The Circus (Edward Buzzell; 1939). In a 1940 interview, Dumont said, "Scriptwriters build up to a laugh, but they don't allow any pause for it. That's where I come in. I ad lib—it doesn't matter what I say—just to kill a few seconds so you can enjoy the gag. I have to sense when the big laughs will come and fill in, or the audience will drown out the next gag with its own laughter. ... I'm not a stooge, I'm a straight lady. There's an art to playing straight. You must build up your man, but never top him, never steal the laughs from him." --Wikipedia

Temple of Dumont

We all worship at Margaret's feet
Feel nourished, not starved but replete
This lady prestigious
Has made us religious
With a flourish her heart we entreat.

David Cairns

Groucho Marx and Margaret Dumont in At The Circus (Edward Buzzell; 1939). Dumont was comic foil to the Marx Brothers in seven of their films. Groucho called her "practically the fifth Marx brother."

Fiancé Footwork

 

This spoofster's hips thrust in a groove
Aloof bluebloods just don't approve
But Teasdale's a freak
Her knees go all weak
When Rufus starts busting a move.

Vera Marcal (Raquel Torres) and Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) are amused by the wacky dance steps of Rufus T. Rirefly (Groucho Marx) in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933). Title by off-the-hoofer David Cairns.

Raise the Rufus

On this wild man this broad took a chance
Even smiled at his bawdy romance
What gets Teasdale excited,
Has her pleased and delighted?
She's beguiled by his vaudeville style dance!

Rufus T. Rirefly (Groucho Marx) entertains Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) and Vera Marcal (Raquel Torres) in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933).

A Sermon on Dumont

Mrs. Teasdale believes he's the best
The bee's knees -- she's deceived, it's a jest
Firefly cannot be trusted
This man should be busted
For treason, the devious pest.

David Cairns

In Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933), Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) insists that Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) lead the nation of Freedonia.

The Name of the Dame

Like a tank, here's the stately Dumont
She's your swanky and straight-laced great aunt
She cannot be goaded
But man, is she loaded
It's her bank account dates really want.

Margaret Dumont (October 20, 1882 – March 6, 1965), here with Groucho Marx in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933).

Disorder in the Courtship

 

Of Teasdale he's hot in pursuit
He sees there's a shot at her loot
With laughter, not stealth
He's after her wealth
She's pleased, but she's not too astute.

Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) woos Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933). Title by orderly Donald B. Benson.

Hold That Poise

With aplomb Dumont barely reacts
To the comic's disparaging cracks
Groucho's banter abuses
But she shan't blow her fuses
Remains calm through unsparing attacks.

Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) hurls barbs at Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933). Title from the poison pen of Donald B. Benson.

Diplomatic Impugn-ity

Meet Rufus, the new head of state
The goofball makes bluebloods irate
Trentino gets sore
Which means they're at war
This spoof is so screwball it's great.

Trentino is slapped by Firefly while Mrs. Teasdale looks on: Louis Calhern, Groucho Marx, and Margaret Dumont in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933)

Carry On, Matron

Though she ought to just scoff at his flack,
It's just water from off a duck's back
Though the vibes are lascivious
To his jibes she's oblivious
And this haughty, rich toff doesn't crack.

David Cairns

Margaret Dumont and Groucho Marx as Mrs.Claypool and Otis B. Driftwood in A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood;1935).Tile by Donald B. Benson, getting carried away.

Don Juan de Groucho

Though his manner is rude, actions rash
And he can be quite lewd, and too brash
This society matron
To the wise-guy stays patron:            
She's a fan of his pseudo-moustache.


Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) woos Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) and her money in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933). Title by Don Juan Benson.

Innocent, a Broad

Groucho's favorite foil is Dumont
Does she crave, yearn or spoil for each taunt?
No! He subtly pokes
But the butt of his jokes
Remains grave, mind unsoiled, nonchalant.

David Cairns

Groucho Marx and Margaret Dumont in Duck Soup (Leo Mc Carey;1933).