Monday, December 31, 2018

Here's Mud in Your Isis



Once man, now this being is "iffy"
On tana in tea will get squiffy
Then limp, scuff, and stagger
More gimp than like Jagger
A bandaged and pre-Christian stiffy.

Tom Tyler drags a leg through Universal's first Mummy sequel, The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940). Title by Donald Benson, a mudder. Happy New Year from all the stiffs at LimerWrecks.

Friday, December 28, 2018

Boarder Incident



In the forest, this rough-living fogey
Teaches Boris to puff on a stogie
Can the second-hand chest
Of this neck-bolted guest
Stand the horrible guff of his yogi?

David Cairns

O.P. Heggie plays a blind hernit, and Boris Karloff is the Monster in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). You're always welcome on Franken-Fridays.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Throwback Scratcher



Professor grows hairy, goes ape
Regressing, at fair sex he'll gape
On dates such a savage,
A waitress he'll ravage!
Aggressive, he'll tear, paw, and scrape.

Prof. Clifford Groves (Robert Shayne) turns himself into The Neanderthal Man (Ewald André Dupont; 1953) and attacks a waitress (Beverly Garland). Title by headscratcher David Cairns. Throwback Thursdays is throwing up.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Carol of the Smells



This fellow's no saint at events
His hellish old taint gives offense
His grating behavior
Predating the Savior,
His smell? Well, it ain't frankincense.

Donald B. Benson

Lon Chaney Jr, bellies up to the bar in a promo still for The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Baby's Just Cold Outside

 

Miss Fromsett does not appear jolly
Her drama could blot out the holly
But after some grog
She'll laugh and you'll snog
This bomb's Santa's hottest tamale.

Adrienne Fromsett (Audrey Totter) eyeballs the camera, aka Philip Marlowe, in Lady in the Lake (1947), a Christmastime film noir. Title by lukewarm Donald Benson. Happy holidays to all from the gang at LimerWrecks.

Monday, December 24, 2018

B.C. Living



This Mummy is hoary and worn
The bum just ignores X-mas morn
His hateful activity
Predates the nativity
Was crumbling before Christ was born.

Lon Chaney reaches for some guy's throat in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Title by D.C. (David Cairns).

Friday, December 21, 2018

The Monster Who Came to Dinner



Raise a glass to the monster (with food)
He's a massive and ponderous dude
But just give him a chance
For unliving bromance
His fantastic response is "Friend good!"

David Cairns

Hermit O.P. Heggie welcomes Monster Boris Karloff into his home in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Donald Benson came up with the title. Franken-Fridays is making friends.

Thursday, December 20, 2018

The Man From "UNK!"



Why live in a cave dusk till dawn?
Are you driven to crave what's long-gone?
You're a hot-headed teen
On the potholing scene
What gives with the shave, Robert Vaughan?

David Cairns

Robert Vaughn is the Teenage Caveman (Roger Corman; 1958). Our Limerick Lexicon tells us that 'potholing' is a UK term for spelunking or cave exploring. Throwback Thursdays has thrown us a curve.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

The Wolf Man at the Door



Beware of the pest at the door    
This terror you'd best not ignore
His canines and claws
Cause pain and give pause
Blood rare he'll digest all your gore.

In Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948), Lou Costello also meets the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney, Jr). It's Werewolf Wednesday.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Somebody's Going to Get Schooled



Now here is Miss Hildegarde Withers
Old dearie who most never dithers.
Since toughened by brats
She's rough on the rats
When nearing where murderer slithers.

Donald B. Benson

Penguin Pool Murder (George Archainbaud; 1932) is the first of three comedy/mystery films in which Edna May Oliver played New York schoolteacher and amateur sleuth Hildegarde Withers. Tuesday is Sleuthday at LimerWrecks.

Monday, December 17, 2018

Mummy Happy Returns



By the glorious scepter of Set
This horror a grim fate has met
He’s hell-bound for good
Though it’s well understood
They'll restore him for sequels, you bet.

Paul Truster

The end title from The Mummy's Tomb.(Harold Young; 1942).

Friday, December 14, 2018

Frankie-Panky



To his friend the big lunk lifts his glass
Elbows bend, soon he's drunk on his ass
He's been blue but he'll find
That a true love is blind
In the end, by his bunk, they hold mass.

The Monster (Boris Karloff) enjoys a happy moment in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Here's to Franken-Fridays!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Primitive Fart


 
They call this neanderthal Cliff
He's a squalid and grand guignol stiff
He will have a big snarl and
Then ravish Bev Garland
An appalling, substandard what-if.

David Cairns

Robert Shayne plays Prof. Clifford Groves, who turns himself into The Neanderthal Man (Ewald André Dupont; 1953), hoisting supporting player Beverly Garland, who was using her new stage name for the first time. Throwback Thursdays wants to throw this one back.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Hirsute Yourself



Fur-festooned by a taxing complaint
This poor loon's sprouting yak's-hair, how quaint!
It's a monthly affliction
He grunts and starts itchin;'
When the moon's fully waxed, Chaney ain't.

David Cairns

Jack Pierce created the Wolf Man makeup for Lon Chaney Jr. Welcome to Werewolf Wednesday.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Double or Nutty



In his beaker the stuff that's now bubbling
Isn't weak like some guff, it's more troubling
One swig and F. March
Loses dignity, starch
And will shriek and act rough after doubling.

David Cairns

Fredric March is both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Rouben Mamoulian; 1931). Bottoms up! It's Terrible Twos-Day.

Monday, December 10, 2018

He Gypped



This cheater betrays out of lust
For a sweetie with praiseworthy bust
Yes, he's drooling, he's scummy
But not fooling the Mummy
And he's beat by one raised from the dust.

David Cairns

Arkham sect member Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) is all over Betty Walsh (Kay Harding) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).

Friday, December 7, 2018

Enchanted Cottage Fries



This blind man will care for the hunk
He's kind, and the pair will get drunk
Then strangers inquire,
Cry danger, start fire
Did they find the two share the same bunk?

The Monster (Boris Karloff) finds a friend (O.P. Heggie) in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Fridays.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Who's on Cursed?



Dr. Zoomer's pet mummy ain't Kharis
Bud and Lou meet this crumb, he's called Klaris
And he's hiding his face
From abiding disgrace
For a movie this dumb will embarrass.

David Cairns

In Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (Charles Lamont; 1955), Kurt Katch played Dr. Gustav Zoomer, and stuntman Edwin (Eddie) Parker was Klaris, the Mummy. This was the last Mummy film made by Universal, as well as the last that Abbott and Costello made for the studio. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay. It's getting late!

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

The Mummy's Worse



The sahib's deep desires are all amorous
But this dweeb in a fez isn't glamorous
His pace is quite glacial
And that face needs a facial
A reboot will presently Hammer us.

David Cairns

Once Universal replaced lovesick Imhotep with Kharis, the schlepping Mummy, the series needed High Priests and disciples to set the plot wheels turning. Peter Coe as Dr. Ilzor Zandaab, Martin Kosleck as Ragheb, and Kay Harding as Betty Walsh add pointless plot points to The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), the last sequel in the 1940s Mummy revival. Abbott and Costello were waiting in the wings. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay..

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Holy Crypture



Though one of a cunning old clergy
This son of a gun's hot and urge-y.
His vow he'll betray
(And how he will pay)
For fun with a stunning young virgy.

Donald B. Benson

Arkham sect acolyte Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) lusts after Betty Walsh (Kay Harding) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay.

Monday, December 3, 2018

Acolyte at the End of the Tunnel



This grime-sucking heel--that's enough!
It's time that I really get rough
The weasely pest
Thinks HE'S sex-obsessed?
The slimeball is stealing my stuff!

The Mummy (Lon Chaney Jr ) is fed up with Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). In the Mummy sequels, it's not the romantic interest of the Mummy that motors the plots, but that of the priests and acolytes. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay.