Wednesday, October 31, 2018
The professor might seem a bit manic
He's a mess, eyes agleam, in a panic
He's distressed he'll be burned,
And the lesson he's learned
Is: don't mess with a demon satanic.
Niall MacGinnis is Dr. Julian Karswell, on the run in Night of the Demon (Jacques Tourneur; 1957). Title by head case David Cairns. Happy Halloween from the demons at LimerWrecks!
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
A cupful of tana or two
Wake up a new man through and through
Increase vim and vigor
And cease mortis-rigor
Feel supple and brand-spanking-new!
Try some Tana™ today! Lon Chaney Jr. has a thirst in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by minty fresh James Finn Garner.
Monday, October 29, 2018
Friday, October 26, 2018
They've made him a mate from spare pieces
But I'm afraid here come fate's cruel caprices
He displeases the Mrs.
When she sees him she hisses
His big day is a crate-load of feces.
Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff don't hit it off in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Friday.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
It's to score that our mummy returns
For a torrid-hot tumble he burns
But the goal of the star
Is a role less sub-par
To explore a part plummy, he yearns.
Surly Hack and David Cairns
In The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), high priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) looks on as the Mummy Kharis (Lon Chaney) places Princess Ananka (Virginia Christine) in her sarcophagus.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Lon's dismayed, he's a lunar-made thing
He's afraid what the future may bring
Mogul a-holes pinch pennies,
No more "A" roles, no Lennys…
A cascade of good hooch dulls the sting.
Larry Talbot and Lon Chaney contemplate their future in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (Roy William Neill; 1943).
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
For man long asleep, catatonic,
Set tana to steep--it's a tonic
With merely a taste
The years are erased
Now panic! The creep is demonic!
High priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) prepares the tana leaves in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).
Monday, October 22, 2018
You'll find peace with this knife in your back
Sweet release as your life fades to black
All your fears will soon perish
Countless years you will cherish
With new lease as my wife--welcome back!
As Boris Karloff approaches with dagger drawn, Zita Johann pleads for help from the goddess Isis...The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).
Friday, October 19, 2018
A tryout for Munster makes sense
The guy weighs a ton, is immense
Though an itty-bit green
He's a hitting machine
For a fly he will run through a fence.
In an episode of The Munsters, "Herman the Rookie" (Jerry Paris; 1965), Herman Munster (Fred Gwynne) is given a tryout by the Los Angeles Dodgers' manager Leo Durocher.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Don't struggle, your soul's found its mate
Does it bug you your role's bound by fate?
A plan set in motion
By tana leaf potion
One chug from the bowl you'll feel great.
John Carradine, Lon Chaney Jr., and Ramsay Ames as the reincarnated Ananka, in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by preternatural James Finn Garner.
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
They pay him to murder by rote
The player prefers to emote
As limping old lunk
He simply gets drunk
Essaying a perf that's one note.
Lon Chaney Jr. slogs through one of the Mummy films. Who can tell which one? Title by ill-gotten Donald B. Benson.
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
He drinks tana, makes jokes that are lewd
If he can, he will choke you--how rude!
Though a crusty old mummy
He's lusty and scummy
Because, man, this jamoke's still a dude.
Lon Chaney Jr and Ramsay Ames in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944).
Monday, October 15, 2018
He's gimpy, but hot to embrace her
He limps from dry rot, but he'll pace her
In a rut, but not slowing
Just what keeps Lon going?
Put simply, a shot and a chaser.
Lon Chaney Jr and Ramsay Ames in a still for The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by David Cairns, like totally.
Friday, October 12, 2018
The object of wonder and dread,
He lobbies for one he can wed
But the miss they create
Will dismiss him as mate
She's a snob, and the honeymoon's dead.
Colin Clive, Elsa Lanchester, Boris Karloff, and Ernest Thesiger in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935).
Thursday, October 11, 2018
All he's known and desired laid waste
Dust and bone, long expired, and erased
But for Kharis, no peace
Not a prayer for release
All alone and bone tired, displaced.
Lon Chaney Jr. as Kharis in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942), Title by restorative Donald B. Benson.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
This mummy-turned-freak has some nerve
Her yummy physique he'd preserve
"Only first she must die
And be cursed, same as I."
For a crummy antique he's a perv.
Boris Karloff and Zita Johann in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
This fink is so sick he could drool
She shrinks from the icky old ghoul
The mystical geezer
Insists he can please her
He thinks that the chick's old, old school.
Boris Karloff creeps out and Zita Johann in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).
Monday, October 8, 2018
This Mummy will lust as before
When summoned, he just wants to score
His quarry seems trapped
Then Boris gets zapped
And crumbles to dust on the floor.
Zita Johann asks the goddess Isis to protect her from Boris Karloff in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932). Title by Donald B. Benson.
Friday, October 5, 2018
The grimmest of patchwork, but hey,
To him they're a match, wants to play
They're stiffs newly stitched
And if they got hitched
What dimwit would catch the bouquet?
Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Fridays.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
The mummy (here played by Tom Tyler)
Guards the princess but hopes to defile ‘er.
After quaffing his swill
He sets out to kill
Can there really be anything viler?
Western star Tom Tyler as Kharis in The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940), before and after mummification.
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Warm evenings alongside the Nile
Tana leaves, a sweet song, a sly smile
When a tyro, young Kharis
Felt Cairo was Paris
Now he's evil prolonged, Mummy-style.
James Finn Garner
Tom Tyler as Kharis, pre-mummification, in The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940). Writer Jim Garner is the host of the poetry site Bardball, dedicated to "Reviving the art of baseball doggerel."
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Across sands he will totter to chug
Steaming tana, this rotter's pet drug
With one sip the old goat
Gets a grip on your throat
He's a bandaged and throttling thug.
Lon Chaney Jr. has a thirst in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944).
Monday, October 1, 2018
With a royal he tried to elope
But that joy was denied him, poor dope
Unburied, he trudges
And carries old grudges
Loverboy now a dried-up old mope.
Lon Chaney Jr. takes over the role of Kharis in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).