Wednesday, October 31, 2018

A Case of the Runes

The professor might seem a bit manic
He's a mess, eyes agleam, in a panic
He's distressed he'll be burned,
And the lesson he's learned
Is: don't mess with a demon satanic.

Niall MacGinnis is Dr. Julian Karswell, on the run in Night of the Demon (Jacques Tourneur; 1957). Title by head case David Cairns. Happy Halloween from the demons at LimerWrecks!

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

The Pause that Ra-freshes

A cupful of tana or two
Wake up a new man through and through
Increase vim and vigor
And cease mortis-rigor 
Feel supple and brand-spanking-new!

Try some Tana™ today! Lon Chaney Jr. has a thirst in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by minty fresh James Finn Garner.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Handle With Kharis

Once deceased, on the verge of collapse
By high priests he's been urged to take naps
For some hair of the dog
Though such fare he will slog
At the least hum a dirge or play taps.

Lon Chaney Jr comes for the tana and stays for the strangling: The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944); With Frank Reicher.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Checkered Mate

They've made him a mate from spare pieces
But I'm afraid here come fate's cruel caprices
He displeases the Mrs.
When she sees him she hisses
His big day is a crate-load of feces.

David Cairns

Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff don't hit it off in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Friday.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Chaney Reaction

It's to score that our mummy returns
For a torrid-hot tumble he burns
But the goal of the star
Is a role less sub-par
To explore a part plummy, he yearns.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

In The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), high priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) looks on as the Mummy Kharis (Lon Chaney) places Princess Ananka (Virginia Christine) in her sarcophagus.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Breaking the Chaney

Lon's dismayed, he's a lunar-made thing
He's afraid what the future may bring
Mogul a-holes pinch pennies,
No more "A" roles, no Lennys…
A cascade of good hooch dulls the sting.

Larry Talbot and Lon Chaney contemplate their future in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (Roy William Neill; 1943).

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

A Stiff Drinks

For man long asleep, catatonic,
Set tana to steep--it's a tonic
With merely a taste
The years are erased
Now panic! The creep is demonic!

High priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) prepares the tana leaves in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).

Monday, October 22, 2018

Marriage, Egyptian Style

You'll find peace with this knife in your back
Sweet release as your life fades to black
All your fears will soon perish
Countless years you will cherish
With new lease as my wife--welcome back!

As Boris Karloff approaches with dagger drawn, Zita Johann pleads for help from the goddess Isis...The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).

Friday, October 19, 2018

The Frightful Dodger

A tryout for Munster makes sense
The guy weighs a ton, is immense
Though an itty-bit green
He's a hitting machine
For a fly he will run through a fence.

In an episode of The Munsters, "Herman the Rookie" (Jerry Paris; 1965), Herman Munster (Fred Gwynne) is given a tryout by the Los Angeles Dodgers' manager Leo Durocher.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Predestination Libation

Don't struggle, your soul's found its mate
Does it bug you your role's bound by fate? 
A plan set in motion
By tana leaf potion
One chug from the bowl you'll feel great.

John Carradine, Lon Chaney Jr., and Ramsay Ames as the reincarnated Ananka, in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by preternatural James Finn Garner.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Moonshine For the Misbegotten

They pay him to murder by rote
The player prefers to emote
As limping old lunk
He simply gets drunk
Essaying a perf that's one note.

Lon Chaney Jr. slogs through one of the Mummy films. Who can tell which one? Title by ill-gotten Donald B. Benson.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

You've Got Male

He drinks tana, makes jokes that are lewd
If he can, he will choke you--how rude!
Though a crusty old mummy
He's lusty and scummy
Because, man, this jamoke's still a dude.

Lon Chaney Jr and Ramsay Ames in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944).

Monday, October 15, 2018


He's gimpy, but hot to embrace her
He limps from dry rot, but he'll pace her
In a rut, but not slowing  
Just what keeps Lon going?
Put simply, a shot and a chaser.

Lon Chaney Jr and Ramsay Ames in a still for The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by David Cairns, like totally.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Monster Mush

The object of wonder and dread,
He lobbies for one he can wed
But the miss they create
Will dismiss him as mate
She's a snob, and the honeymoon's dead.

Colin Clive, Elsa Lanchester, Boris Karloff, and Ernest Thesiger in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935).

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Restoration Tragedy

All he's known and desired laid waste
Dust and bone, long expired, and erased
But for Kharis, no peace
Not a prayer for release
All alone and bone tired, displaced.

Lon Chaney Jr. as Kharis in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942), Title by restorative Donald B. Benson.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

The Ghoul Can't Help It

This mummy-turned-freak has some nerve
Her yummy physique he'd preserve
"Only first she must die
And be cursed, same as I."
For a crummy antique he's a perv.

Boris Karloff and Zita Johann in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Isn't It Necromantic?

This fink is so sick he could drool
She shrinks from the icky old ghoul
The mystical geezer 
Insists he can please her
He thinks that the chick's old, old school. 

Boris Karloff creeps out and Zita Johann in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).

Monday, October 8, 2018

Happy Ever Afterlife?

This Mummy will lust as before
When summoned, he just wants to score
His quarry seems trapped
Then Boris gets zapped
And crumbles to dust on the floor.

Zita Johann asks the goddess Isis to protect her from Boris Karloff in The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932). Title by Donald B. Benson.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Scarred For Wife

The grimmest of patchwork, but hey,
To him they're a match, wants to play
They're stiffs newly stitched
And if they got hitched
What dimwit would catch the bouquet?

Elsa Lanchester and Boris Karloff in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Welcome to Franken-Fridays.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Pyramid-Life Crisis

The mummy (here played by Tom Tyler)
Guards the princess but hopes to defile ‘er.
After quaffing his swill
He sets out to kill
Can there really be anything viler?

Paul Truster

Western star Tom Tyler as Kharis in The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940), before and after mummification.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Portrait of the Mummy as a Young Man

Warm evenings alongside the Nile
Tana leaves, a sweet song, a sly smile
When a tyro, young Kharis
Felt Cairo was Paris
Now he's evil prolonged, Mummy-style.

James Finn Garner

Tom Tyler as Kharis, pre-mummification, in The Mummy's Hand (Christy Cabanne; 1940). Writer Jim Garner is the host of the poetry site Bardball, dedicated to "Reviving the art of baseball doggerel."

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Heat, Drink, and Be Scary

Across sands he will totter to chug
Steaming tana, this rotter's pet drug
With one sip the old goat
Gets a grip on your throat
He's a bandaged and throttling thug.

Lon Chaney Jr. has a thirst in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944).

Monday, October 1, 2018

Pharaohs of Outrageous Fortune

With a royal he tried to elope
But that joy was denied him, poor dope
Unburied, he trudges
And carries old grudges
Loverboy now a dried-up old mope.

Lon Chaney Jr. takes over the role of Kharis in The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942).