Wrist Cure

A maniac's dining on gland
Why chain the guy minus one hand?
He gets fresh and frenetic
With flesh that's synthetic
Which explains how the swine can expand.

 David Cairns

Preston Foster in Doctor X (Michael Curtiz, 1932), a twisted pre-code horror gem, eerily hued in two-strip Technicolor.

In Tent to Kill

At the circus they die with a splat!
From their perches up high they fall flat  
Hubby Dwight is quite jealous
And a mite overzealous
So berserk that he'll try on this hat!



Dwight Frye plays trapeze artist "Flandrin the Great" in Circus Queen Murder (Roy William Neill ; 1933), which the IMDb describes as "...a sordid tale of marital infidelity, murder, cruelty to animals, and cannibalism." Sounds like pre-Code to me. Title by well in-tent-ioned Donald B. Benson.

With Love From Me to Zoo

This missy won't shout if he paws
He'd kiss her, but doubt at him gnaws
She's ready for clinches
Instead he just flinches
She hisses, and out come her claws.

Edwin Parker and Lota, the Panther Woman get jungle fever: Richard Arlen and Kathleen Burke in Island of Lost Souls (Erle C. Kenton, 1932). Title by animal lover Donald B. Benson.

Nature Versus Suture

The creations obscene by Moreau
Aren't nature as seen by Thoreau
Here a panther in heat
With a man's indiscreet
Such relations Joe Breen wouldn't show.

Richard Arlen and Kathleen Burke get close in the science fiction horror classic Island of Lost Souls (Erle C. Kenton, 1932). Joseph Breen became head censor of the Production Code Administration in 1934.

Hotter Than Cel

In settings as sweaty as Heck's,
Fiends threaten poor Betty with sex
If the ghouls ever got her
No fuel would burn hotter
And the petting would get rated X.

Welcome to the Countdown to Halloween on LimerWrecks! Betty Boop sizzles in Red Hot Mamma (Dave Fleischer,1934). Title by heat-seeking Donald B. Benson.

Minding Her Trapeze and Cues

Three rings, and they're all a bit sleazy
This swinger appallingly easy
Dwight Frye's cheatin' bride
Lives high, but will slide
Poor thing has a fall most trapeze-y.

Aerialist Josie La Tour (Greta Nissen) is the wife of jealous husband Flandrin the Great (Dwight Frye), and is the title character in Circus Queen Murder (Roy William Neill ; 1933). Title by Donald B. Benson, minding her trapezius.

Sense or Censor?

Since petals would float on the water,
He tossed in a villager's daughter.
The code disapproved.
The scene was removed,
And viewers inferred something fraughter.

Donald B. Benson

The Monster (Boris Karloff) and Little Maria (Marilyn Harris) in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931) From Donald Benson: The monster befriends a small girl and they watch flower petals float on the lake. He tosses her in, expecting her to float as well. He's horrified when she doesn't. The scene was cut, so the next scene of the father carrying her body implies genuine evil.

Isle Be Sewing You

If you plot a course east from Bikini
There's this spot that's policed by a meanie
So sadistic a man
Here's his twisted life plan:
Making lots of he-beasts halloweeny.

Charles Laughton is the sadistic Dr.Moreau in the decidedly pre-Code horror classic, Island of Lost Souls (Erle C. Kenton, 1932). Stay tuned to LimerWrecks for the Countdown to Halloween, our month-long celebration of spooky movies and monstrous verse.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondell

Ol' Joan didn't hide from publicity
On the phone she'd provide electricity
In bath and boudoir
Her path took her far
She's shown just this side of explicit-y.

Pre-Code era star Joan Blondell: no actress looked like she was having more fun getting in and out of her clothes. Title by that chaser of Loos women, gentle Donald B. Benson.

Against the Grains

Within reach, a bare limb is like candy
Skin beseeching a him to get randy
Then the facts intervene
Showing cracks in the scene
On the beach, and in swimsuits, it's sandy.

Chester Morris and Carole Lombard are Sinners in the Sun (Alexander Hall; 1932).

No Good Time Goes Unpunished

Just like juries, film plots must obey
Laws ensuring the rotten cliché   
In Virtue v. Sin
The church gets to win
Impure, flapper hotties must pay.

Dorothy Sebastian, Joan Crawford, and Anita Page in Our Dancing Daughters (Harry Beaumont;1928). Title by good for nothing Donald B. Benson.

The Medium Was the Menace

 

When naughtiness reached a crescendo,
Both up front and by innuendo,
The censoring boards
Protected us hordes
Till cable, the net, and Nintendo.

Donald B. Benson

Joan Blondell and Dick Powell in Convention City (Archie Mayo; 1933)--a notoriously racy film, now apparently lost.

From Boop to Nuts

Her garter she'd flash, to amaze
All hearts filled with passion, ablaze
This flapper cartoon
Would happily croon                                                                        
Till the tart had her clash with Will Hays.

David Cairns

 

Over the years, Betty Boop's garter changed styles as well as legs, and her cartoons changed from risqué to tame, the latter due to influence of the Motion Picture Production Code of 1930, aka the Hays Code after censor Will Hays.

He's Too Darn...Not

Patsy's beau doesn't cotton she's there,
So this show at a rotten cad's lair.
He's sick (morning after).
She quickly grows dafter.
Still it's no, the poor sot doesn't care.

Donald B. Benson



Marion Davies and Lawrence Gray in The Patsy (King Vidor; 1928). From Donald: "Davies has schemed for the hero to burst in, rescue her from a playboy, and realize he loves her. But aforementioned playboy is enduring a hangover, so she tries -- and fails -- to rouse him with impressions of three current sirens, Mae Murray, Pola Negri, and Lillian Gish (above)."

Holy Unlock

The hero, who sure wasn't choosy
Gets married to pure-looking floozy.
A proper divorce?
Too sinful, of course.
It's lucky the floozy is boozy

Donald B. Benson

Dorothy Sebastian and Anita Page in Our Dancing Daughters (Harry Beaumont; 1928). Says Donald, "Evil Anita Page steals Johnny Mack Brown from pretending-to-be-fast Joan Crawford. SPOILER: The villainess then conveniently gets drunk and takes a header down a stairway to clear way for happy ending."

Unflappable

Her raciness draws 'em like flies.
Disgraceful, her flapperesque guise.
When called on her bluff,
She hollers, "Enough!
This face is a front to please guys!"

Donald B. Benson

Mr. Benson writes, "A rich young man (Neil Hamilton) tests a poor girl's virtue in Why Be Good? (William A. Seiter; 1929) -- as in many other films. But instead of the usual melodrama, Colleen Moore rips into him with an angry lecture on how girls HAVE to play sexy."                 
Here at LimerWrecks, we LOVE Colleen Moore.

Holy It

This shop girl is good, but ambitious
And maybe a bit too delicious.
Mistaken for bad,
She still gets her lad
When cleared in a manner propitious.

Donald B. Benson

Clara Bow and Antonio Moreno in "It" (Clarence G. Badger, Josef von Sternberg; 1927). Says Mr. Benson: Clara Bow targets a rich young man, but he thinks she's an unwed mother (her roommate has a baby; her marital status is kept fuzzy). Happy ending aside, it's implied unwed motherhood WOULD disqualify her from respectable marriage.

Black and White and Red Hot All Over

Not sinner in pre-code hot drama.

Nor pinup in 3D-o-Rama.
The steamiest dame?

Our dreamiest flame,

Akin to the Feline's Pajama.

Donald B. Benson

Betty Boop sizzles in Red Hot Mamma (Dave Fleischer; 1934). The film was banned on release in the United Kingdom because it depicted Hell in a humorous manner, which was deemed blasphemous.

I'll Seize You in My Dreams

When Groucho's a man on the make,
We frown on the randy old rake,
He can't get a pass
To plant hand on -- lass.
But Harpo can, when unawake.

Donald B. Benson

Harpo gets away with pre-code groping in the code-approved A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood, 1935). Quips Groucho, "Y'know, he does better asleep than I do awake."

Bride Sharing

We pause at these matches risqué
Drop jaws at attachments four-way
No honeymoon's sweeter
(How fun! A three-seater!)
But the law's gonna catch them someday.

Thelma Todd, Chico and Groucho Marx in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). Title by Donald B.Benson, always a bridesmaid.