Loose Goose

The eye of the goose would meander
She first took a look, then a gander
All over the gaggle
tongues started to waggle
She'd sue, but the truth isn't slander

Art © Jim Siergey 2010

Lambo

A shepherd, afraid that a fox
would decimate all of his flocks,
decided one day
to join NRA
and arm all his sheep with new Glocks

Words and art © Jim Siergey 2010

Have a Cow, Man

It jumped o'er the moon like a scud
and landed on Earth on its cud
The farmer now shudders
when squeezing its udders
The pail fills with buttery blood

Art © Jim Siergey 2010

Easy Reaper

So long to the great Dennis Hopper
The bad-boy of film's come-a-cropper
Cut short by John Wayne
he snorted cocaine
and rode around high on a chopper

Art © Jim Siergey 2010

Giraffe Gaffe

On hearing a joke, the giraffe
starts clearing its throat for a laugh
Forgetting a note
to get from its throat
takes nearly an an hour-and-a-half

Art © Jim Siergey 2010

Hippo Replacement

Make way for a hot hippopotamus
Not little, it's more a whole lotamus
To keep itself cool
it jumps in the pool
and soaks from its top to its bottomus

Art © Jim Siergey 2010

Elephanticide

An elephant never forgets
and lives a long life of regrets
It drags a big trunk
around in a funk
and listens to self-help cassettes

Art © Jim Siergey 2010

Hair Bawl

The lion is proud of his mane

He struts about utterly vain

And to a shampoo

this King bids "adieu"

He'll not wash his hair down the drain

Words and art © Jim Siergey 2010

A Spotty Situation

Poor leopard all covered with spots

His nerves are all tied up in knots

A monkey with pencil

in tail so prehensile

just won't stop connecting the dots

Thus opens the cage to a savage week of Animal Limericks. There will be no need to alert the SPCA. No animals will be hurt, only good taste. Words and art © Jim Siergey 2010

Dumb Nuts

A joker without a full deck,

Rush Limbaugh spouts drivel and dreck

On hearing Sean Hannity

one fears for his sanity

They're Einsteins compared to Glenn Beck

----Surly via Norm

Fantasy Baseballed

Chicago has one of those clubs
whose claim to the records is flubs
But what if the past
in fiction, recast
made reigning World Champs of the Cubs?!?

(sample page, click to enlarge)

"If They Did It", by cartoonist Jim Siergey and humorist
Greg Simetza, is a 156 page paperback book of humor,
fantasy, absurdity and cartoons that includes the subtitle,
"A Hypothetical Account of How the Chicago Cubs Might
Have Won Every World Series Since 1908"

"If They Did It" is the ultimate in fantasy baseball.
"...a clever slice of revisionist sports history"
---Time Out Chicago
It's available at www.jimsiergey.com.

Racket to the Moon

The ranks of the faithful are swelling
but those aren't roses you're smelling
When you are implored
to buy for the Lord
T'ain't Jesus who's doing the selling

Nell and Void

There once was a girl who would ponder
but thinking too deep was beyond her
When trying to learn

her focus would turn

Her mind, you see, always would wander

Sam, Splayed

The three fortune hunters and Spade
sought statue carved after Crusade
Realities blurred
and switched the Black Bird
with stuff of which nightmares are made

Norm and Surly

Funky On My Back

A thing like a weird hacky sack
plopped down on a bystander’s back
His vertebrae creaked
The thing drooled and leaked
and threw the guy’s back out of whack

The above drawing is a "Jam". Jim penciled the bottom figure. Hil
inked it, then added the monster in pencil, which was inked by Jim.
Then Hil colored it. I think it took more time to explain it than do it!

Watching My Step

That guy keeps on following me

I wish he would just let me be
Did I do him wrong?
Why trail me so long?
It's been since July, '63

Norm

Blue Man Coup
Don't look--someone's following you
a hipster with pompadour 'do
And lo and behold
he's so cool he's cold
so much so his skin's turning blue

Surly