Sunday, March 31, 2013

Zombie Flesh Easter

It's Easter, give praise, do not mourn
Your deceased savior's raised, is reborn
But these dead, now alive
Open heads to survive
And will feast on your brains Sunday morn.

Pasty-faced extras lurch through Night of the Living Dead (1968). Our title is by David Cairns, and is a nod to Zombies 2, aka Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979).

Cavity Search Party

She's more evil than anyone guessed
Though her sins she has never confessed
Not a care or concern,
When she's bare you will learn
She has nothing to get off her chest.

Barbara Steele is exposed in Black Sunday (Mario Bava; 1960). Black Sundays has lost weight.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

You'll Never Stalk Alone

The two of them, out for a stroll
Both humans in need of a soul
They go hither and yon,
Village smithy and Lon,
With no clue how to fill that huge hole.

The Monster and former blacksmith Ygor go for a walk in an electrical storm:  Lon Chaney Jr and Béla Lugosi in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942). David Cairns filled in the title.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Good Frye-Day

When this veteran sidekick comes calling
Never let him inside--just keep stalling
He's a lout and a rat,
Keep him out on the mat,
Or your property values start falling.

Dwight Frye as henchman Karl, in a deleted scene from Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Title by gentleman caller David Cairns. As usual, Dwight Frye-Days is up to no good.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Loon Chaney

He's as mighty as ten, superhuman
But he's light in the mental acumen
Rather dull--as we've noted--
Though in sulfur he's coated:
The stuff brightens, but doesn't illumine.

The new and improved Monster startles Ygor: Lon Chaney Jr and Béla Lugosi in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Shock and AAAUUUGH!!!!

When he's struck by a bolt from the blue
He's more lucky than, say, me or you
Though his strength is increased
With those brains he's more beast
A poor schmuck with no hope of a clue.

David Cairns

The Monster (as played by Lon Chaney Jr.) is little more than a big dumb lug in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Chaney Reaction

There's a chap with no soul on the loose
Who's been zapped by a bolt flung by Zeus
Now his inhuman spark
Makes him loom in the dark
Cause the sap's full of voltage and juice.

David Cairns

Lon Chaney Jr takes over as The Monster, and Béla Lugosi is back as Ygor, in The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942). 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Mad to the Bone

The monster or Ygor, who's saner?
This question is not a no-brainer
Though the henchman's a loon,
The big dense one's a goon,
And his cranium's just a container.

Béla Lugosi is Ygor, and Lon Chaney Jr is The Monster in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942). Title by bone-weary David Cairns.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Window to the Soulless

Open wide when they view the horrendous,
Her two eyes are so huge, they're tremendous
Like a devilish doll
Or malevolent moll
When surprised she is truly stupendous.

Barbara Steele opens her enormous orbs in Black Sunday (Mario Bava; 1960). Black Sundays happen every week at LimerWrecks.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Die Hardly

Ygor rises again from the grave
His demise was just feigned, a close shave
The cops are quite baffled:
He was dropped from the scaffold!
Better prise out the brain of that knave.

David Cairns

At the start of Son of Frankenstein, Ygor (Béla Lugosi) had survived hanging, and at the end he was shot repeatedly. And yet, like some broken-necked Looney Tunes cartoon character, was up to his usual mischief again in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Friday, March 22, 2013

He Who Hesitates is Boss

The actor is keen on applause
For reaction, on scenery, gnaws
They go bats for attention
With Bill Shatner I'll mention
His tactic's routine pregnant pause.

Taking off one's shirt never hurt, either. Happy birthday to thespian William Shatner.

The Riot to Bear Arms

At the thought of the guy with the bolts
The distraught village rises, revolts
It's a mindless uprising
Which I find unsurprising:
They've got Frye playing one of the dolts.

David Cairns

Dwight Frye is merely a face in the throng in The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942). Dwight Frye-Days is forming an angry mob.

Thursday, March 21, 2013


We all thought that the monster was gone
Karloff bought it but life must go on
But when freed by a blast
The male lead's been recast
And he's Boris no longer, he's Lon.

David Cairns

In The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942), Lon Chaney Jr. replaced Boris Karloff as the monster. This was not a step up.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Gun of Frankenstein

Villain Ygor was shot in the chest
Till the sequel he's taking a rest
Now the Monster's in mourning
Left to ponder this warning:
As a creep, wear a bullet-proof vest.

Baron Wolf von Frankenstein (Basil Rathbone) shoots Ygor (Béla Lugosi) in Son of Frankenstein (Rowland V. Lee; 1939), but Ygor was back at work in The Ghost of Frankenstein three years later.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

You Can't Keep a Good Maniac Down

When the yokels explode TNT
The big bloke safely stowed is set free
Now a lightning storm's volts
Start exciting his bolts
And thus stoked, hits the road on a spree.

David Cairns

The Monster (Lon Chaney Jr.) is zapped by lightning in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942), the first film in the series with a "B" budget.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Quarried Sick

He's engulfed in a troublesome chasm
And the sulphur that bubbles there has him
Then a dynamite blast
Sets the swine free at last
With one awful great rubble-crumb spasm.

David Cairns

At the end of Son of Frankenstein (Rowland V. Lee; 1939), the monster falls into the sulphur pit beneath the castle. The story picks up from there in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942), the 4th entry in Universal's Frankenstein saga.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Barb Weird

With her sly and lascivious smile
She's an eyeful, a dish to defile
But whose skull could endure
Her occult, lewd allure
When she's violent, vicious and vile?

Scream queen Barbara Steele heats up Mario Bava's Black Sunday (1960). Thanks to weird and wonderful David Cairns for the title and tweak. It's another Black Sunday morning at LimerWrecks.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Die-Manic Duo

This abnormally seedy musician
Has now formed a misdeed coalition
His new partner in terror
Is a spare parts-made error
Be informed you will need a mortician.

Horn blowing Ygor joins forces with a revived Monster: Béla Lugosi and Boris Karloff in Son of Frankenstein (Rowland V. Lee; 1939). Title by partner in rhyme David Cairns.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Side Order of Frye

Portraying the ghoulish and dense
Frye's playing is truly intense
As horror film lackey
He's morbidly wacky
Quite gay with each gruesome offense.

Dwight Frye, seen here as Renfield, the spider and fly-eating stooge of Dracula (1931). The authorized biography Dwight Frye's Last Laugh is given a favorable review at Immortal Ephemera. Yeah, it's Dwight Frye-Days here at LimerWrecks.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Left-Handed Hun

The inspector's a caustic old grump
In life's stocking S Claus left a lump
This big horrible thing
Went and tore off his wing
Now he flexes the law from the stump.

Inspector Krogh (Lionel Atwill) takes a licking but keeps on kicking in Son of Frankenstein (1939). Title by left-winger David Cairns.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Amputee and Sympathy

With such horrors it's hard coexisting
For your poor little arms they keep twisting
And your parts they detach
So it's harder to scratch
And what's more, to one side you start listing.

Inspector Krogh explains how he first met the monster to Baron Wolf von Frankenstein: Lionel Atwill and Basil Rathbone in Son of Frankenstein (1939). Title by amped-up David Cairns.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Easy Come, Easy Krogh

It was far from an awful "meet cute"
When he sparred with a boffin-made brute
For extending his hand
Didn't end as he'd planned
And his arm was torn off at the root.

Lionel Atwill as Inspector Krogh in Son of Frankenstein (1939). A boffin is a stock character in UK culture: a scientist, engineer, or other person engaged in technical or scientific research. It's one of several words I've learned from Scottish LimerWrecker David Cairns.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Five Years Before the Masthead

It's 5 years?!? That's a very long time
I've grown weary, feel buried in rhyme
And with no compensation
Must forgo avocation
As I fear I must scare up a dime.

Today is the 5 year anniversary of LimerWrecks. Writing a limerick a day since 2008 has been a labor of love, but also a burden, and a time consuming activity. I have resisted "monetizing" this blog, i.e. placing ugly ads all over it, and I'd hate to start now. So the time has come to devote myself more fully to being a comic book artist. But don't go away. There are quite a few limericks waiting in the queue, and the blog will continue, though it will now be on an irregular, inspiration only basis. It may even evolve into something else. Our second image is of Debbie Reynolds in Singing in the Rain, a film about the end of an era, as well as the beginning of one.

Thanks to co-LimerWreckers David Cairns and Norm Knott and everyone else for being such good company, and for all the great puns and rhymes. Slap happy anniversary!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Black Sunday Roast

This missy is throwing a fit
She's hissing, is going to spit
Then in vile, evil verses
Her defiler she curses
And insists his kin roast in a pit.

Barbara Steele has a few words before being burned at the stake in Black Sunday (Mario Bava; 1960). Title by unfitness expert David Cairns.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Upset Design

Voices echo through cavernous halls
There's a rec room so vast that it sprawls
With no lines angled right
The design's such a fright
The Inspector is climbing the walls.

Son of Frankenstein (1939) was directed by Rowland V. Lee, with art direction by Jack Otterson and set design by Russell A. Gausman. Among the puny humans standing in front of the sets are Basil Rathbone, Josephine Hutchinson and Lionel Atwill as Inspector Krogh.

Friday, March 8, 2013

A Bug's Life Expectancy

He's a cretin who can't hurt a fly
But he'd eat one -- he's that sort of guy
Once a delicate lad,
In a cell now, he's mad
Since a meeting with Drac went awry.

Dwight Frye's Renfield might be the most interesting thing in Dracula (1931). Titled for Dwight Frye-Days by LimerWrecker for life, David Cairns.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Twain Spotting

When they meet the new heir at the train,
They all greet him with glares and disdain
Not too thrilled with his pappy
This quaint village ain't happy
To repeat his dad's terror campaign.

Baron Wolf arrives in the village of Frankenstein: Basil Rathbone in Son of Frankenstein (1939).

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Baron Landscape

As the Frankensteins near their domain
On a branch line by dreary steam train
The same background repeats
Past the tracks on stretched sheets
Like a thankless and weary refrain.

David Cairns

Rolling past the repetitive rear projection are Basil Rathbone and Josephine Hutchinson as Son of Frankenstein, Baron and wife (1939).

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Rathbone of Contention

When he wanders the village eponymous,
The new "von" in town's hardly anonymous
Disrespected, resented,
(They suspect he's demented)
With a monster he's largely synonymous.

Basil Rathbone is Baron Wolf von Frankenstein, the Son of Frankenstein (1939). Title by contented David Cairns.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Pissed Off-icer

If this Krogh seems an ornery crank
He has only a horror to thank
It's a monster that harms
A big goniff of arms
From the shoulder they're torn with a yank.

Son of Frankenstein (1939): Lionel Atwill as Inspector Krogh of the breakaway limbs.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

My Pair Lady

Barb unreels and the horror fans drool
She appeals to each gore hungry ghoul
Her duets they like better
And they get that much wetter
Seeing Steele in performances, dual.

Barbara Steele plays both witch and virgin victim in Black Sunday (Mario Bava --1960). Just another Black Sunday at LimerWrecks.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Wolf Who Cried "Boy!"

He's distraught 'cause his lad's been abducted
Pete was caught by what granddad constructed
Curly-headed wee tot
Burly dead man has got
Due to wattage that dad had conducted.

David Cairns

A worried Wolf (Basil Rathbone) and Elsa (Josephine Hutchinson), aka Mr. and Mrs. Son of Frankenstein (Rowland V. Lee -- 1939).

Friday, March 1, 2013

A Lionel in the Streets

His roles as a doctor, demented
His rep as a shock star cemented
But X-rated mixers
Were X-mas deep-sixers
No screenplay concocter invented.

Here's Lionel's odd tale of woe:
The wildest of parties he'd throw
With arrest and a scandal
He's at best hot to handle
So he winds up on poverty row.

Actor Lionel Atwill (1 March 1885 – 22 April 1946). Images: The Mad Doctor of Market Street (Joseph H. Lewis-1942); Man Made Monster (George Waggner-1941)

From Brian's Drive-In TheaterAtwill's career nearly came to a halt in 1941, following a Christmas party he hosted in late 1940 that allegedly involved an orgy, a minor, naked guests, and pornographic films. Accused of lying to a jury in 1941 about the alleged orgy he had hosted at his Pacific Palisades home, he was indicted for perjury in October 1942. Trying to protect the identity of his guests, Atwill originally pleaded guilty to the charge and was put on a probation period of five years. However, in April 1943 the actor was allowed to change his plea to not guilty and was exonerated. While many film historians argue that the scandal made Atwill virtually unemployable, in truth his career weathered the scandal amazingly well for the period and he was out of work for only a few months.

Goon Companions

Karloff lumbers from mist shrouded pits
He's one numbskull that just never quits
But grows low on morale
With Lugosi as pal
'Cause the dummy still misses Frye's Fritz.

Boris Karloff as The Monster in Son of Frankenstein (1939). Title by goon squad member David Cairns. Sort of a side door entry on our weekly feature, Dwight-Frye-Days.