Kiss Me, You Ghoul

Your story was just getting started
Exploring a lust yet uncharted
Though she's bones now, deceased
Your jonesing's increased
Amor with the musty departed.


Art by Bernard Bailey; Weird Mysteries #12 (September 1954)

Beach Blanket Endorsement?

At seaside, these fellas turn randy
It's easy when belles are so handy
Babes boasting bikinis
And roasting their weenies
A squeeze would be swell but too sandy.

One can only imagine what former stars Brian Donleavy, Mickey Rooney, and Buster Keaton thought about appearing in How to Stuff a Wild Bikini (William Asher; 1965).

A Child Shall Bleed Them

Drac's offspring is dressed all in black
And in coffins she rests on her back
Which means Vlad did the deed
Undead cad spread his seed
But who'd boff that old pest in the sack? 

Gloria Holden is Dracula's Daughter (Lambert Hillyer; 1936).

Western Schwing

When Ella, her guns drawn, is winking
The swells in this one-horse get thinking
Her shorts have such shape
They down quarts as they gape 
This belle star's hot buns lead to drinking.

David Cairns

Ella Raines in a publicity shoot for Tall in the Saddle (Edwin L. Marin; 1944).

Drum-Sticky

His zeal at the skins is insane

The appeal of her pins makes him strain
He sure works up a sweat
Cause the jerk is all wet
What he feels as he grins is quite plain. 

David Cairns

Elisha Cook Jr. excitedly beats his drums in Phantom Lady (Robert Siodmak; 1944).

Sex Cymbals

This drummer's propelling the beat
He's crummy, but Ella's all reet
She's hep to the jive
And adds pep to his drive
Is it summer? He swells from the heat.



Ella Raines spurs on Elisha Cook Jr's frenzied drum solo in Phantom Lady (Robert Siodmak; 1944). Title by sexy David Cairns.

Lust in Space

In the days before space gal Sigourney    
Most alien races seemed corny
More funny than strange 
But one thing won't change:

The way-out skirt-chasers are horny.

Planet Comics #23, 1943. Art by Dan Zolnerowich. Title by David Cairns.

Change Your Neptune

On Neptune new love is in bloom
As alien brides seek a groom
But spaceman, beware
You'll step in their snare
And with tentacled creeps get a room!

Heavenly Body Heat

Her spacesuit is highly impractical.
And yet, it is totally tactical.
Though decent and pure
More readers she'll lure
When drawn to imply she's sex-actable.

Donald B. Benson

Beach Blanket Bimbo

A Jersey shore gal named Sharona
spent break with her pals in Daytona.
She drank and she kissed,
perhaps swam where they pissed,
and now she's contracted corona.

Dan Shea

Dan Shea is a West Virginia writer who often writes about his conflicted relationship with Appalachia. Also, a movie he wrote, Dreamkatcher, drops VOD 4-28-20. Watch the trailer, here.

Insectually Active

Those rude and yet keen might deduce
That this brood's insect queen must be loose
Where others grow dizzy
This mother gets busy
And dude, how these things reproduce!

Them! (Gordon Douglas; 1954) is giant ants.

Acolyte at the End of the Tunnel

This grime-sucking heel--that's enough!
It's time that I really get rough
The weasely pest
Thinks HE'S sex-obsessed?
The slimeball is stealing my stuff!

The Mummy (Lon Chaney Jr ) is fed up with Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). In the Mummy sequels, it's not the romantic interest of the Mummy that motors the plots, but that of the priests and acolytes. This post is part of the "Late Show" blogathon hosted by David Cairns and Shadowplay.

Chaney Reaction

It's to score that our mummy returns
For a torrid-hot tumble he burns
But the goal of the star
Is a role less sub-par
To explore a part plummy, he yearns.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

In The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), high priest Ilzor (Peter Coe) looks on as the Mummy Kharis (Lon Chaney) places Princess Ananka (Virginia Christine) in her sarcophagus.

Sarcophaguy

In a coffin this wreck's been confined
The most awful hot sex on his mind
Keep the Mummy in sight
'cause the bum's not polite:
Bend and cough, and he checks your behind.

Kay Harding senses the advancing Lon Chaney in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).

Dearly De-Parted

The old man from the sands once was spiffy.
But today how he stands is quite iffy.
Could some slinky young dame
Light his kinky old flame?
He's devoid of all glands, and of stiffy.

Donald B. Benson

Jeanne Roland, Dickie Owen, and Terence Morgan in The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (Michael Carreras; 1964).

Too Darn Thoth

His wrapping in tatters a-dangle,
He's happy to batter and mangle.
Exposed and half-dressed,
She shows off her chest,
Which flaps at a flattering angle.

Eddie Powell carries Maggie Kimberly in The Mummy's Shroud (John Gilling; 1967). Title by that darn David Cairns.

A May-Dismember Relationship

His bones creak and crack when he walks
His moans freak the stacked one he stalks
When he gropes for a clinch
He needs ropes and a winch
So, alone, wrapped in sack-cloth, he gawks.

 David Cairns

Maggie Kimberly and Eddie Powell (as the Mummy, right) in a lobby card for The Mummy's Shroud (John Gilling; 1967).

Flushed With Passion

He flees with this dish in the sewer
He sees she's delish, thinks he'll do her
But he's terribly old
His scarab's grown cold
And, wheezing, he'll wish he was newer.

Dickie Owen as the Mummy Ra-Antef, carries Jeanne Roland in The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (Michael Carreras; 1964). Title by four-flusher David Cairns.

The Crypt Peeper

He's ragged and musty, unspeaking
She gags in disgust then starts shrieking
The Mummy in gauze
Keeps coming, won't pause--
Her magnified bustline he's seeking.



Eddie Powell pursues Maggie Kimberly in The Mummy's Shroud (John Gilling; 1967).

Why Dracula Rises Again

Into bedrooms, eyes gleaming, he'll steal
Where the ready young females will peel
But it's hunger, not lust
For a young, heaving bust--
This undead craves a steamy, hot meal.        

Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by early riser Donald B. Benson.