Friday, September 30, 2011

What a Dragnet

He's been spotted and sirens have sounded
And the cops have his hideout surrounded
Now the net's being tightened,
he sweats, and he's frightened
that his desperate flight might be grounded.

David Janssen as Dr. Richard Kimble, The Fugitive. Image source: Title by Norm "Just the facts, ma'am" Knott. Fugitive Fridays is up against the wall.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ghoul Line Stand

Oh, say it ain't so, Walter Payton
Not just extra-marital datin'
But drug use and more!
This exposé bore
shows Sweetness was human, not Satan can read about the sleaziness... here.

Buenos Eros

Two's company, three is a crowd
(And in bedrooms, one more than allowed)
Both Macready and Ford
with Miss Hayworth have scored
But the boys by each other were wowed.

David Cairns

Down in Buenos Aires, Glenn Ford and George Macready stick it to Rita Hayworth as Gilda (Charles Vidor, 1946).

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

No Ifs, Ands or Bust

When Gilda premiered, the press round-up
asked Rita just what kept her gown up
"Two very good reasons, "
she said, "I would squeeze in,
and both were strategic'lly bound up."

Rita Hayworth was liquid satin in Gilda (Charles Vidor, 1946).

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Mama and the Pampas

When Gilda was belting 'bout Mame
her build nearly melted the frame
Less torrid canaries
would bore Buenos Aires,
or wilt if they felt such a flame

Rita Hayworth sang "Put the blame on Mame, boys..." as Gilda (Charles Vidor, 1946). Who cares if she was dubbed!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Bird in a Gilda Cage

As she dances their eyeballs undress her
One glance and they try to possess her
When she tugs off a glove
all the lugs fall in love,
and their pants get a rise from the pressure

There's nothing hotter than Rita Hayworth in Gilda (Charles Vidor, 1946).

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Five-Alarm Filly

She's endowed with a lot of good looks
Has the knowledge that's not found in books
So steamy and sultry
she screams out adult'try
The howlingly hot Hazel Brooks

Smouldering Hazel Brooks singes married Don Ameche in Sleep My Love (Douglas Sirk, 1948). As a "model" for photographer George Coulouris, Brooks wears lingerie in her first scene--and never much more than that. Image source: DVD Beaver

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Top of the Cheap

His actors all move in a trance
Their characters losers to chance
They don't come much glummer
than lonely Ed Ulmer
The master of shoestring finance

Top: Detour (Only the Cinema); Above: Club Havana; Learn all about this Poverty Row film noir musical by director Edgar G. Ulmer from the perceptive Doug Bonner at Boiling Sand.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Flee at Last

For a murder he didn't commit
to the hot-seat he's headed to sit
But freed by a wreck
Kimble flees on a trek
from a cop that is not gonna quit

David Janssen and Barry Morse in The Fugitive. We commit Fugitive Fridays every week here at Limerwrecks.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Nail Must Go Through

It's one of those dread-laden tales
As fun as a bed made of nails
With humor that's mordant,
to music discordant,
in a dungeon a dead man prevails

Vincent Price and Barbara Steele in Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Image © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved. Image source: IMDb.

At this point we're going to take a week off from our tribute to Vincent Price. But never fear, fright-fans, Vince will return for our Countdown to Halloween in October.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Irony Maiden

As newlyweds, always a-boffin',
they'd do it both early and often
Then she faked her encryption,
he had a conniption,
and threw her inside of a coffin

Vincent Price locks Barbara Steele in an iron maiden in Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Images © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A Marriage: Maiden Hell

Their union with woes had been laden,
so loony Vince goes for a trade-in
Poor frightened Barb Steele
has quite an ordeal
cocooned in her beau's iron maiden

Vincent Price and Barbara Steele in Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 61). Assist and title by iron man David Cairns.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Poker Facial

I'll tell you a secret in candor
My wife is a sneak--I can't stand her
It'd please me to choke her
or heat up a poker
and get her to shriek when I brand her

Vincent Price and Barbara Steele work out the kinks in their marriage in Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Image source: IMDb. Images © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I Witness

I saw what you did in the shower
I know how relationships sour
To clean up the grime
at the scene of the crime
I'd go for a Brillo and scour

Joyce Meadows and John Ireland leg it in I Saw What You Did (William Castle, 1965). Title by clean-as-a-whistle David Cairns.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

To Dial For

She covets the the psycho next door,
though he's gutted his his wife on the floor
When randomly dialed
this killer gets riled
and shoves in his knife like before

John Ireland and Joan Crawford in I Saw What You Did (William Castle, 1965). See Saw at 11 AM today on Svengoolie on Me-TV. Title phoned in by David Cairns.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Chillinois, You Put Me In a Frozen State

Gene J. Puskar - AP

There's a pall on the breeze in the air
Though there's ball, for the freeze they prepare
In Chicago the fans
make their long winter plans
as they fall on their knees in despair

Chicago Cubs' Alfonso Soriano hangs his head. This limerick is from Bardball, the site of daily baseball poetry managed by James Finn Garner and Stuart Shea. James put the title on ice. Barball is where I post my limericks when I'm feeling blue about Cubbie blue, which is almost always.

Escapable You

On posters his face has been plastered
Ergo, in escapes he has mastered
He must always remain
at the top of his game
'cause he knows that he's chased by a bastard

"Escape me, my fleet escapable you..." The Fugitive was poster boy David Janssen, but you're always wanted on Fugitive Fridays.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bridal Sour

He's wed a most lecherous lass
A treacherous snake in the grass
She fakes her demise
then to his surprise
attends her own requiem mass

Vincent Price and Barbara Steele in Pit and the Pendulum. Images © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved. Our centennial tribute to Mr. Price will continue. Image source: Chicago Ghouls

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Last Minute Chopping?

A pendulum leaves a few creases,
and tends to just cleave till it ceases
From the right, then the left,
its flight forms a cleft,
that sends you retrieving your pieces

(The) Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Title by David "Dice" Cairns.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Pit Patter

Which manner of torture to choose?
The cat or the poker or screws?
Iron Maiden or rack?
Relax and lie back--
As the pendulum gores you in twos!

Surly Hack and David Cairns

Vincent Price considers his options in (The) Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961).

Monday, September 12, 2011

Been There, Dungeon That

In Spain where they mainly eat tapas
His brain's as unfit as his papa's
His menacing blade
descends when it's swayed,
and is plainly outfitted to chop us

Just like his old man in the Inquisition, Vincent Price takes up torture in (The) Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961).

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Never Say Sever Again

Dear friend, it is best not to sit
'neath the pendulum next to the pit
First shaving your gut
then engraving a rut
It will end with a sectional split

Vincent Price in the Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Title by cut-man David Cairns.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Waist Disposal

Get rid of superfluous flab
in just minutes a day on a slab!
Thus cutting your weight
you'll look and feel great--
But your middle's one helluva scab

Vincent Price in (The) Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Title by Image source: IMDb. Images © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved

Friday, September 9, 2011

A Doc's Life

Kimble's flight on the road has been hard
From the life he had known he's been barred
Ever lonely and leery,
to his bones he grows weary,
sick and tired of that drone named Gerard

Lieutenant Philip Gerard made life miserable for Doctor Richard Kimble, The Fugitive (David Janssen). We're still pursuing Fugitive Fridays. Image source: DVD Beaver

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Basque Separatist

As a Basque in the old Inquisition
You'd be asked to assume this position
Strapped flat on your back
In the line of attack
Of an axe with an aim to partition

David Cairns

Vincent Price stars in The Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961).

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Pit. Pending

Among all his torture devices
is a wonder that slices and dices
One cannot evade
the pendulum's blade
in the dungeon of horror that's Price's

Vincent Price in The Pit and the Pendulum (Roger Corman, 1961). Image source: IMDb. Images © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Pit Stopper

A story of madness and woe
and an axe that will gore those below
With Corman and Price
both cutting a slice
of the master of morbid named Poe

The Pit and the Pendulum was the second adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe by Roger Corman and Vincent Price.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Screwed Indigo

The palette of indigo hues
gives the last of the Ushers the blues
This dandy aesthete
on his ancestral seat
is subsumed in the purplish ooze

Surly Hack and David Cairns

Vincent Price in (The Fall of the ) House of Usher (Roger Corman, 1960).

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Fall of the Louse of Usher

In this mansion resembling a tomb
sits its master, enveloped in gloom
When deep in the muck
this keeper is sucked,
the madman will welcome his doom

Vincent Price is Roderick Usher, last of the House of Usher (Roger Corman, 1960).

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Rod Man Out

He is sensitive--just to a fault
Loves his sis, who he's shut in a vault
His family curse
makes him rather perverse
His last wish is his Usher's will halt

Vincent Price, last in the line of the House of Usher (Roger Corman, 1960).

Friday, September 2, 2011

Doc Be Kimble, Doc Be Quick

Just in case someone places his face,
to be safe he can't stay in one place
So he goes it alone
like that old rolling stone,
and escapes from the fate giving chase

David Janssen is Dr. Richard Kimble, The Fugitive. Don't run from Fugitive Fridays. Title by speedy David Cairns, running in place.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Family Plotz

The manor of Usher will end
when Madeline goes 'round the bend
Her brother, named Rod,
tries to smother her bod
and the fam'ly in mud will descend

Vincent Price, Mark Damon and Myrna Fahey as Madeline, in House of Usher (Roger Corman, 1960).