The House that Watched Frankenstein

 

Those reels of the old black & whites
With dated and delicate frights
Were now in demand
All over the land
For TV on Saturday nights.

The monsters were all disinterred.
But why had this horror occurred?
T'was Baby Boom kids
Who flipped for old vids...
But first, from our sponsor, a word.

Donald B. Benson

The drive-in movie helped create the youth film market. Hollywood was throwing everything at the screen: 3-D, Cinerama...any gimmick they could think of. Desperately looking for ways to counter the convenience and novelty of television.

The Case of the Burr-ly Barrister

A victim of murder they'll bury
In court with the DA he'll parry
He'll mount the defense
But don't count on suspense
The plots in this show seldom vary.

  

Raymond Burr starred in and as Perry Mason from 1957 to 1966.

Box Sore

The President stood in his box
Was booed like a pestilent pox
He thought, "This is weird...
I ought to be cheered...
The game's being broadcast on Fox!"

Roadkiller

“Massive spider runs out of control!”
Someone dial up the Highway Patrol!
The job should be offered
To Broderick Crawford;
We can’t have bugs breaking parole.

Paul Truster



Top: Tarantula (Jack Arnold; 1955) Above: Broderick Crawford starred as Police chief Dan Mathews on the television series Highway Patrol from 1955 to 1959.

The Frightful Dodger

A tryout for Munster makes sense
The guy weighs a ton, is immense
Though an itty-bit green
He's a hitting machine
For a fly he will run through a fence.

In an episode of The Munsters, "Herman the Rookie" (Jerry Paris; 1965), Herman Munster (Fred Gwynne) is given a tryout by the Los Angeles Dodgers' manager Leo Durocher.

Uncastaways

Behind all the glamor and glitter
You'll find filmdom's damned, human litter
The worn and depleted
Both scorned and defeated
Unsigned has-been hams, old and bitter.

Our image is a bit unfair: Hank Patterson, Lenore Shanewise, Marjorie Bennett, and Earle Hodgins, several of the residents of the Sunnyvale Rest Home in the Twilight Zone episode "Kick the Can" (Lamont Johnson; Feb. 9, 1962). Title by un-passed away Donald B. Benson.

Slack Friday

                                               
With a range that is...well, isn't vast,
As a gangster poor Bela's miscast
Out of place as a tough
He's a waste in this stuff
It's with fangs he excels and will last.

Béla Lugosi plays mobster Eric Marnay in Black Friday (Arthur Lubin; 1940). Left to right: Lugosi, Paul Fix, Edmund MacDonald, and Raymond Bailey. Fix later played the marshal on The Rifleman, MacDonald picked up a hitcher in Detour, and Bailey ran a bank on The Beverly Hillbillies.

Damp Vamp

No pallor: his cheeks are quite ruddy
But gallons of leaks red and bloody
Didn't get Bela pickled
The wetness that trickled
Was formaldehyde, reeking and cruddy.

David Cairns

Ed Wood stock company members Vampira (Maila Nurmi) and Bela Lugosi guest star on The Red Skelton Show. June 15, 1954.

Alcohol Count

When his rancid old canines have sunk in

Your chance to see daylight has shrunken
You'll be bled for nutrition
And he'll spread his condition
Then prance off all swaying and drunken.

Vampira (Maila Nurmi) and Bela Lugosi appear on The Red Skelton Show (1954). Title and assist by antsy David Cairns.

Santa Maybe

 

This gift-giver's not to be trusted
His liver is shot, gin-encrusted
When the booze-addled mess
Is accused of largesse
The shifty old sot is soon busted.

Art Carney stars in The Twilight Zone episode "The Night of the Meek", written by Rod Serling and directed by Jack Smight.

To Have and Have Knott

Both the captain and nitwit agree,
As two chaps they're a bit out to sea
The poor sap became chummy
With his slap-happy rummy
When he yapped he was "bit by Aunt Bee."

Humphrey Bogart and Don Knotts, in a photo mash-up of Mayberry and To Have and Have Not, created by our own Norm Knott. Knotts to you, Norm.

Running Out of the Past

Both the past and the mileage stop here
From that bastard self-styled, I am clear
Having run my last yard,
I have won--not Gerard--
And at last I can smile without fear.

David Janssen walks away with Diane Baker in the epilog to the final episode of The Fugitive. Fugitive Fridays has also stopped running--for now. Image source: Dvd Talk.

Hitch Mock

On his Hitchcock Presents, Hitch's wit
made the little suspense show a hit
With his dry British cheek
all his sponsors he'd tweak
Though they bitched they had sense not to quit.

Norm Knott

Today is the last day of the For the Love of Film blogathon. May we suggest that you sponsor the National Film Preservation Foundation?

Shake It Or Leave It

When enforcing the law of the land,
Barry Morse gave me all I could stand
Then the second I'm free
Barry beckoned to me,
And the horse's ass offered his hand.

Morse, David Janssen and Diane Baker in the final epilog of The Fugitive. Fugitive Fridays is out of breath and has finally stopped running. It's been a long run, but fun. We hope you feel the same.

The End of the Road Show

At last Kimble's finally caught

The man with one arm he'd long sought  

Thus comes to a close

This summit of shows
Which perhaps took more time than it ought. 

Dr. Richard Kimble and the "one-armed man" (David Janssen and Bill Raisch) do battle in the final episodes of The Fugitive. Image source: Dvd Talk. Fate's huge hand is waving goodbye to Fugitive Fridays.

Crucifixident

Grampires curse in surprise at a cross
But what's worse is incisor tooth loss
And sad misadventures
When saddled with dentures --
This flawed verse will advise that they floss.


Al Lewis as Grampa Munster, and Sesame Street's Count von Count.

Called Off-icer

So the murder on Kimble was pinned
At this turn of events I'm chagrined
No justice was served
And it wasn't deserved
Guess I'll learn if the guy is thin-skinned.

Barry Morse in the final season of The Fugitive. The chase is nearing the end on Fugitive Fridays. Image source: Dvd Talk.

Vanishing Action

On the run, to succeed on his mission
He's a cunning and speedy magician
The condemned disappears
When his nemesis nears,
Outdone by a pediatrician.

David Janssen fades into the woodwork on Fugitive Fridays.

One-Arm-Missing Link

Together by life they've been tossed
Forever in strife they'll be crossed
One was tried, one was not
But they're tied in a knot
And the tether's the wife Kimble lost.


Fugitive Fridays features Bill Raisch and David Janssen, seen here in the show's final, color drenched season. Image source: The Fugitive blog.

Road Show Stopper

There is danger round most ev'ry bend
Is that stranger a foe or a friend?
This fugitive knows
With the future and shows
All is change and each road has an end.

David Janssen ponders his fate as The Fugitive, as we near the end on Fugitive Fridays.