Tuesday, July 31, 2018
He looms from his funeral trunk
A doom-laden, prune-textured lunk
His bottom is bound
In cotton all round
And there's plumes of it strewn round his junk.
Lon Chaney Jr, sleeping one off in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).
Monday, July 30, 2018
Guess who played a mummy from Egypt.
Off to the New World he'd be shypt.
Now mind you, young Chaney
Declined to complain; he
Well knew that his contract he'd see clypt.
Donald B. Benson
The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944) marks Lon Chaney, Jr.'s third and final appearance as Kharis, the Egyptian mummy. The 1940s Universal Mummy films moved the setting from Egypt to the United States.
Friday, July 27, 2018
This troll is a stain and a blot
A lowlife whose brain is low-watt
He's thrown to his doom,
(Lands prone, we assume)
His role not germane to the plot.
Dwight Frye plays the thuggish dolt Karl, tossed from the castle's parapet in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1935). Title by downy soft Donald B. Benson.
Thursday, July 26, 2018
In a coffin this wreck's been confined
The most awful hot sex on his mind
Keep the Mummy in sight
'cause the bum's not polite:
Bend and cough, and he checks your behind.
Kay Harding senses the advancing Lon Chaney in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944).
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Across rivers and sand, mud and gravel,
Though unliving, he'll stand up and travel
He's not fleet, but he'll slog
And the meters he'll log
We'll forgive him if strands might unravel.
Lon Chaney Jr. plods through the foliage and The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944), the final film in Universal's 1940s Mummy cycle.
Tuesday, July 24, 2018
He's haggard and sore through and through
Foot dragging in morbid soft shoe
So sickly, he drinks
A liquid which stinks
You'd gag on the horrible brew.
In the 1940s Universal Mummy sequels, the Mummy acquired a limp, and is revived by a potion brewed from tana leaves. Image: In The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944), high priest Ilzor Zandaab (Peter Coe) spoon-feeds the Mummy (Lon Chaney) as acolyte Ragheb (Martin Kosleck) looks on.
Monday, July 23, 2018
When digging in muck workers found
A figure was stuck in the ground
A bit of a rinse
She's fit for a prince
Black-wigged, as Ananka she's crowned.
Virginia Christine gets down and dirty in The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944); with Kurt Katch as Cajun Joe.
Friday, July 20, 2018
This "assistant" is such a sad toady
Though he's sweating as much as a roadie.
Not a mention of pennies
Or of pension and bennies.
Bet his dates are all dutch -- just a sodie.
Donald B. Benson
Fritz (Dwight Frye) looks up in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931).
Monday, July 16, 2018
Serenaded by cricket and frog,
He goes wading through thicket and bog.
Though he's dry and he creaks,
Through the bayou he seeks
The young lady fate's picked for a snog.
Apparently, The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944) is set in French Cajun country. He is Lon Chaney Jr., and she is Virginia Christine. Title by Donald B. Benson, who's making himself comfortable.
Friday, July 13, 2018
Doctor Frankenstein's problem's this ditz.
Working cranks, twisting knobs he's the pits.
But when wages are modest,
One engages the oddest.
Filling thankless-type jobs, one gets Fritz.
Dwight Frye as the mad doctor's assistant Fritz in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931).
Thursday, July 12, 2018
With no comeback, no pun, or a quip,
This mummy's not funny or hip
Though an herbal aroma
Gets him stirred from his coma,
He's been dumb since his tongue got a snip.
Lon Chaney silently stars in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Title by Donald B. Benson, a type "B" personality.
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
Through sequels unending he trudges
He creaks when he bends or he budges
This non-speaking part
Has Lon losing heart
He's piqued with defendable grudges.
Lon Chaney (by this point he'd dropped the 'Jr.') played the Mummy in three films at Universal, and always in a rotten mood. He's shown here in The Mummy's Ghost (Reginald Le Borg; 1944). Or is it The Mummy's Tomb? The Mummy's Leg Warmers? Who can tell them apart?
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
No, you can't get a girl when you're ghoulish
Though you rant or act surly and mulish
As a thing from the crypt,
Keep your dingus well zipped
In your pants, or the world finds you foolish.
Lon Chaney carries Elyse Knox to The Mummy's Tomb (Harold Young; 1942). Title by Donald Benson, decaying at the temples.
Monday, July 9, 2018
Of mummies laid deep remain leery
When summoned from sleep they're quite dreary
They drag bandaged legs
Through mags from the dregs
Quite chummy with Creepy and Eerie.
Uncle Creepy and Cousin Eerie were the eponymous mascots and hosts of Creepy and Eerie, black and white horror comics magazines. The Mummy was a recurring feature in Eerie. The cover painting on Eerie #12 (November, 1967) is by Dan Adkins, depicting a scene from The Mummy's Curse (Leslie Goodwins; 1944). Title by dead inside Donald B. Benson.
Friday, July 6, 2018
High windows glow bright in the dark
Huge engines ignite with a spark
Though God disapproves,
The body...it moves..!
The minion delights--what a lark!
Dwight Frye is the hunchbacked assistant to Colin Clive, reacting to the arm of Boris Karloff or his stand-in in this scene from Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931).
Thursday, July 5, 2018
He comes looming and shuffling slowly
He's all gloomy and scruffy, unholy
Please beware of the beat
Of those bare, cloth-wrapped feet
(They add booms, soft and muffled, with foley).
Archaeologist Ralph Norton (Bramwell Fletcher) is startled by Imhotep (Boris Karloff), aka The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932).
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
The old man from the sands once was spiffy.
But today how he stands is quite iffy.
Could some slinky young dame
Light his kinky old flame?
He's devoid of all glands, and of stiffy.
Donald B. Benson
Jeanne Roland, Dickie Owen, and Terence Morgan in The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (Michael Carreras; 1964).
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Oh, no! It's that freaky old Mummy
Although he can't speak, he's no dummy
His parts have all dried
But his heart's still inside
And so he still seeks to get chummy.
Yvonne Furneaux is faced with Christopher Lee as Kharis, The Mummy (1959).
Monday, July 2, 2018
Pre-Caesar, the bore is past senile
This geezer from shore along the Nile.
With his shrink-wrapped advance
Does he think there's a chance
To please her? To score? He's in de-nial.
Donald B. Benson
Dickie Owen reaches out to Jeanne Roland in The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (Michael Carreras; 1964).