The Kids Are All Tight

Me mates and I pubbed it all night
We ate fish and chips and got tight
We rang in the new
while queued for the loo--
Though wasted we still were polite

Dissolving Resolve

As years start to draw to a close
a lengthening list we compose
Of deeds to amend
bad habits to end
and last new year's list to dispose

Take it easy out there tonight. Have a safe and happy New Year!
Images: Above, Starlet Showcase; Below? I can't remember.

Filmed Footage

Buñuel had a fetish for feet
He liked them well turned and petite
He chased with a zeal
a taste for surreal
that's charming but not so discreet


The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz (Luis Buñuel, 1955).

Mistletoe-Tag

The cupboard at Billy's was bare

So Billy, to Santa, said prayer:

"Please come down tonight,

my stocking fill tight."

The foot fit quite snugly in there.

Limerick written by surly hack (his computer's all out of kilter at the moment and can't post here). Artwork by someone who looks, acts and draws astonishingly just like me. Heh-heh, nah, that's just plain silly; who in their right mind would want to mimic me in every detail and... unless their plan is to (ulp!) bump me off and take my place, with no one even suspecting anything's amiss... HELP!

History is Made of Light

Though distanced by time and by space
the lovers draw close and embrace
No matter their plight
they're bathed in a light
of mystical, heavenly grace



The cynical snicker at love
True sentiment say they're above
They cannot resist
the cinema fist
yet ridicule film's velvet glove


Director Frank Borzage was cinema's greatest romantic.
Top: Janet Gaynor and Charles Farrell in Seventh Heaven
(Frank Borzage, 1929); Middle: Spencer Tracy and Loretta
Young in Man's Castle (Borzage, 33); Above: Charles Boyer
Jean Arthur in History is Made at Night (Borzage, 37);
Below: Borzage and Gaynor share the very first Oscar.

Dumb Nuts

A joker without a full deck,

Rush Limbaugh spouts drivel and dreck

On hearing Sean Hannity

one fears for his sanity

They're Einsteins compared to Glenn Beck

----Surly via Norm

Grammer and Spelling

A meeting of Kelsey and Tori
was almost a tabloid lead story
Her gab was so grating
he needed sedating
before the meet cute became gory

Chest of the Pecos

Of outlaws who pestered the west
a few were suggestively dressed
With cattle to rustle
some wore a big bustle
But this is the dress I like best

Sleigh, Lady, Sleigh

Of Dylan's new album be leery
It's no ode to joy--it's just dreary
Explaining his croaking
is life of chain-smoking
Your ears will commit hara-kiri

When Bobby spreads Christmastime cheer

you will not believe what you hear
His holiday rasp
could be a last gasp

He might not record one next year

We mock because we love--Dylan's the greatest.
Merry Christmas!

Heave Ho!

As Santa's sleigh flys through the snow,
he drinks to keep warm, don't you know
In tummy of Kringle
booze, eggnog co-mingle
Gag reflex strikes --look out below!

Merry Christmas everybody, and don't leave the house tonight without your trusty umbrella!

The Sight Before Christmas

A tasteless tradition some cherish
is front yard displays loud and garish
Each snowman of plastic
to them looks fantastic
To me all that crap is nightmarish

Scents Memory

Our memories, triggered by smells
ring long ago dinnertime bells
Aromas of foods
stir far away moods
where childhood nostagic'lly dwells

Arnold Stang, R.I.P.

The late, very great, Arnold Stang
was stuck with a nasally twang
His comical looks
had him playing schnooks
On radio who gave a dang?



Arnold Stang, a character actor whose bespectacled, owlish face and nasal urban twang gave him a singular and recognizable persona, whether on radio or television, in the movies or in advertisements, or even in cartoons, died on Sunday.

Mr. Stang considered himself a dramatic actor who could play serious roles. But even he was aware that with his signature heavy glasses and a manner that could be eagerly solicitous, despondently whiny or dare-you-to-hit-me pugnacious, his forte was comedy.

Mr. Stang was a natural for roles requiring a milquetoast, a pest or a nerd. At 5 foot 3 and never much more than 100 pounds, he once said of himself, “I look like a frightened chipmunk who’s been out in the rain too long.”

“He loved the cartoons, and he liked doing commercials, too,” his wife, JoAnne Stang said of her husband. “But most of all, he loved radio. It offered him such a span of roles.” --Excerpted from his New York Times obit.

Photos: Stang in 1961; With Robert Alda and James Gleason in Two Gals and a Guy (Alfred E. Green, 1951).

Whiz the Season

I'm Santa, come sit on my knee

What should I put under your tree?

What gift--game or toy--

would please such a boy?

Oh Christmas--the squirt took a pee!

Citizen's Arrested Develoment

What lies in a word someone said
the moment before they dropped dead?
Some dark, hidden meaning
that one should be gleaning
or simply an old wooden sled?

Murder Most Fowl

The murder took place by the pool
where climate was kept very cool
The murderer's credo:
To kill in tuxedo
But Hildegarde took him to school



Penguin Pool Murder (George Archainbaud, 1932)
starred Edna Mae Oliver as Hildegarde Withers, an
elderly schoolteacher turned sleuth who solves crimes
to the constant annoyance of Police Inspector Oscar
Piper, played by character actor James Gleason.

Behind the Date-Ball

Now ladies, look deep in my ball
Its crystalline depths will enthrall
I'm sure you'll surmise
its relative size
implies my prediction's not small.

Actor Warren William peers into his future with several starlets in this still for The Mind Reader (1933). Photo from Starlet Showcase. 

Jennifer Jones, R.I.P.

For Jennifer I've had a jones
Her looks and her soft, dulcet tones
My mad love desire

I'll take to her pyre

and there in the fire jump her bones

Norm Knott

Actress Jennifer Jones in Love Letters (William Dieterle, 1945). Thanks to Doctor Macro. You'll find a touching and personal tribute to the actress here.

Hurry Up and Waitress

The boys want to do something rash
to siren who's slinging the hash
Her register rings
for things money brings
She won't accept love--only cash



Linda Darnell and Dana Andrews in Fallen Angel (Otto Preminger, 1945). A tip of the snap brim fedora to the blog Coffee, Coffee and more Coffee.

Hinge Benefit

A secret's like locking a door
to a suite of forbidden decor
Through its keyholes we peek,
for what's hidden we seek
Intrigued, we've a need to explore

Surly Hack


You step through completely alone
A portal into the unknown
How will you survive
or get out alive
forgetting to bring your cell phone?!

Norm Knott

Secret Beyond the Door (Fritz Lang, 1948)

Junior Highs

Today kids drop drugs while at 'raves'
But back in the day they were slaves
The pushers would hook 'em
and teen-agers took 'em
and ended in premature graves

Grief--It's What's for Sinners

Insidious notions on sin
have burrowed down under my skin
I've Catholic guilt
right up to the hilt
self-loathing that eats from within

Ferry Scary

When crossing the swamp never tarry
The ferryman's haunting the ferry
This ghost on the loose
had hung from a noose:
The swampland's too soggy to bury


And here is the thing, he looks just like Ming...
Charles Middleton, who played Ming the Merciless in the
Flash Gordon serials is a spectral strangler in the moody,
low budget expressionism that is Strangler of the Swamp
(Frank Wisbar, 1946). Click poster to enlarge.

Gun Lazy

I guess it's a popular pose
A standby photographers chose
A thriller film still
that's filling the bill
when studios want "more of those."


Top to bottom: Dick Powell and Micheline Cheirel in Cornered;
Ray Danton and somebody in something; Edmund O'Brien and
Joanne Dru in 711 Ocean Drive; Victor Mature and Collen Gray
in Kiss of Death. All photos snatched from Starlet Showcase.

Point Blank Stage

The theater stage was bereft
theatric'lly there'd been a theft
When actor stole scene
from playwright, Eugene
O'Neill made an exit, stage left

Photo © Ryan Woodland 2009

Wood, Working

There once was an artist named Wood
whose comics were better than good
For those who can see
his work at E.C.
the testing of time has withstood


Top: A terrific 3-D Wood illustration of Al "Jazzbo" Collins for
Mad Magazine #31, 1957. Above: The last panel from Wood's E.C.
comics classic, "My World." Read the entire incredible story here.
We hope you've enjoyed Wood Week. For more of his wonderful
work visit Steve Thompson's Hooray For Wally Wood!
All art © and trademark E.C. Comics 2009.

Man on the Moon Maiden

In the fifties it wasn't too soon
to rocket right up to the moon
Then save lunar lassie
and, squeezing her chassis,
lay down in a crater and spoon

Rocket to the Moon #1, 1951. Art by
Wally Wood and Joe Orlando.

Base Detective

There was a detective in space
Of evidence hadn't a trace
Disgracing profession
he'd beat a confession
to crack ev'ry alien case

Space Detective #1, 1951. Art by Wally Wood.

Space Suited

It seems that most guys who fly rockets
wear space-suits with belts full of pockets
Their long-legged femmes
attract B.E.M.s
with eyeballs that bulge from their sockets


Three 1950s covers by the great Wally Wood,
who defined the art of science fiction in comics.
Glossary note: B.E.M.s are Bug-eyed Monsters.
Steve Mannion sent along this link to the original
art to original Wood E.C. art, including the Weird
Science-Fantasy cover seen above, here.
Steve is a big Wally Wood and E.C. fan. Check out
his fantastic E.C.-inspired art at his blog, here.

Full Metal Racket

His captor, so-called "Iron Maiden"
wears outfit she must be obeyed in
Our hero is caught
in picture quite fraught
With layers of meaning it's laden

Image thanks to Pencil Ink. Art by the masterful
Wally Wood, from T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents #1, 1965.
It's Wood Week at Limerwrecks.

Ugly Girl

Here's a late addition to Wolverton Week. It's a very short claymation piece called Ugly Girl, inspired by Basil Wolverton's Lena Hyena. Thanks to Richard Krauss at Midnight Fiction for the link.

This video isn't a rental
It doesn't need guidance parental
A very toothpaste-y
so short that it's hasty
claymation on hygiene that's dental

Looming Tomb of Doom

The end of the world's drawing near
the reasons for which aren't clear
This warning in verse
is terribly terse
There isn't much time left, I fear



Click to enlarge the apocalyptic artistry of Basil Wolverton.
This is the end of Wolverton Week at Limerwrecks.

Cover Hurl

She won't get the boys hot and sweaty
Her hair hangs like soggy spaghetti
Her face is a blot
it's starting to rot
She's better at ugly than Betty

A Little Crab'll Do Ya

The crabmen are crawling by night
They scuttle and skitter and bite
Don't sleep with the crabs--
they'll leave you with scabs
Start pulling your bed covers tight!


They Crawl By Night, from Journey Into Unknown
Worlds #15, 1953. Story by Daniel Keyes ("Flowers for
Algernon"), art by Basil Wolverton. Read this paranoid
classic in black-and-white at Pappy's Golden Age Comics,
or in its original 4 color version at The Horrors of It All.
Click on the images to enlarge them.