Pain Delay

Today’s the Cubs’ opening day
At Wrigley it echoes “Hey, hey!”
That old ballpark hosts
Far too many ghosts
Of hopes that were drowned in dismay

Lady in the Lake

Veronica's 'peek-a-boo' 'do
said “Big-boy, come hither, yoo-hoo!”
As studio touted
she purred and she pouted
and backed up their ballyhoo, too

The lovely Veronica Lake
As pin-up, this blond took the cake

With her long golden tresses

and the slinkiest dresses
she made A. de Toth double-take

For Travels she stuck out her thumb
In Gun For Hire fellas said "Yum!"
She held The Glass Key
but lost the marquee
when trimming her tresses proved dumb



Veronica Lake shot to stardom in the early 1940s with such films as This Gun For Hire, Sullivan's Travels and The Glass Key, and she became a popular pin-up. Lake married Andre de Toth, who directed her in Ramrod and Slattery's Hurricane (bottom photo, with costar Richard Widmark). According to publicity, during World War II Lake cut her famous locks to encourage women working in war industry factories to adopt more practical, safer hairstyles.

Hack Sabbath

As lord of this limerick fest
Each Sunday I should get a rest
But fans here demand
I can what I planned
And daily with rhymes thou art blessed

A Taste of Money

A young hottie who snared rich old dude
Closed her eyes to his decrepitude
Unzipping his pants
Saw inheritance
But she gagged on the air of prunes, stewed

Widmark of Distinction

by Backthrow
Hollywood bureau



The great Richard Widmark has passed
What a character group he amassed!
His screen roles were hefty
"Skip", "Udo" and "Jefty"
In the movies, at least, he will last.

Backthrow to the Future

Please welcome my guest, P. Backthrow
At limericks he’s in the know
The fact of it is
The best rhymes are his
Just watch as he steals the whole show

Day the Earth Still Stood

A suave guy from space, friend not foe
Klaatu, said “baRada, nik-Toe”
In peace he came, but
Was shot in the gut
Seems Earth had enough at “Hello” *

*see comments

Hitch Crock

Some critics still sit on the fence
They're split on the Hitch of Suspense
The nix his best bits
As lifted from Fritz,  

His scripts as unlikely events 

I once heard a writer boo-hiss
His masterpiece “logic amiss”
To fail to give in
To Vertigo’s spin
Takes a patient immune to film bliss

To fall for romantic film art
Requires implanting a hear
For that which we feel
Is equally real

As narrative strands pulled apart  

Water Bored

With hawkish and liberal zeal
On torture both sides do appeal
Deny human right
The Left wing says "Fight!"
While Right replies "What’s the big deal?"

Tell Me Where It Squirts

Reclined in the chair for a filling
The patient was ever so willing
When done in her mouth
The dentist went south
Her cavity now he is drilling

A Dame Inflamed

There's nothing like Woman when scorned
A Fury, with rage unadorned
Mere graphs cannot measure
this distaff displeasure
Don't say that you haven't been warned

The Porn Ultimatum

In new movies the special effects
Seem so real the eye seldom detects
But in porno flicks
Projecting from chicks
You’ll see chests only science erects

Noir She Blows

Dead end street, neon light, shabby room
All alone, cigarette, in the gloom
Down below, high-heeled clicks
Echo up from the bricks
One last chance? Femme fatale, certain doom

Specious Species

To accept all that’s odd and is eerie
in the bible with nary a query
And also resolve
we do not evolve
is to be living proof of your theory

Jailhouse Shlock

Quite lonely from long isolation
ol' Stu longed for human relation
To enter into
a cellmate brand new,
as well as the main population

K-Nein

A trainer who prized his toy poodle
on dog show bet kit and caboodle
But awards were denied
when the shocked judges eyed
the pair in flagrante canoodle

Dis Me, I’m Irish

On payroll, ghosts work da machine
Dye river a Shamrock Shake green
At Sout’ Side parade
beat blacks that have strayed
so Bridgeport stays fair as Colleen

Strip Clubbed

In spite of his desperate pleas
pole dancer continued to tease
and wouldn't lap dance
atop unzipped pants
He’s lucky: she bore a disease

The Porn Identity

Delivery guy they called Tony
brought hot chicks a large pepperoni
Though pizza looked nice
they ate not a slice
The story was full of baloney

This is Spinal Snap

Old hubby of nympho, Louise
felt spine crack, then suddenly seize
Sating wifey neurotic
in position exotic
he'd bent over backwards to please

The Govenor’s Balls

Ell Spitzer was quite the crusader
An electable version of Nader
But a call girl’s high price
got him busted by vice
when he tried to disguise what he paid her



As AG to all crime was a pox
but as Gov his career hit the rocks
By a sting he was stung
out to dry he is hung
With clay feet never stand on soapbox

Trailer Hitch

Director, quite long past his prime
Cast starlet with body sublime
He tried then to nail her
inside of her trailer
Upstate now, he does “magic time”

Exhibitionist Rex

I write these each day of the week
Attention per diem, I seek
There’s rhyme but no reason
‘cept I find it pleasin’
Plus maybe I'm also a geek