The Kids Are All Tight

Me mates and I pubbed it all night
We ate fish and chips and got tight
We rang in the new
while queued for the loo--
Though wasted we still were polite

Dissolving Resolve

As years start to draw to a close
a lengthening list we compose
Of deeds to amend
bad habits to end
and last new year's list to dispose

Take it easy out there tonight. Have a safe and happy New Year!
Images: Above, Starlet Showcase; Below? I can't remember.

Filmed Footage

Buñuel had a fetish for feet
He liked them well turned and petite
He chased with a zeal
a taste for surreal
that's charming but not so discreet


The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz (Luis Buñuel, 1955).

Mistletoe-Tag

The cupboard at Billy's was bare

So Billy, to Santa, said prayer:

"Please come down tonight,

my stocking fill tight."

The foot fit quite snugly in there.

Limerick written by surly hack (his computer's all out of kilter at the moment and can't post here). Artwork by someone who looks, acts and draws astonishingly just like me. Heh-heh, nah, that's just plain silly; who in their right mind would want to mimic me in every detail and... unless their plan is to (ulp!) bump me off and take my place, with no one even suspecting anything's amiss... HELP!

History is Made of Light

Though distanced by time and by space
the lovers draw close and embrace
No matter their plight
they're bathed in a light
of mystical, heavenly grace



The cynical snicker at love
True sentiment say they're above
They cannot resist
the cinema fist
yet ridicule film's velvet glove


Director Frank Borzage was cinema's greatest romantic.
Top: Janet Gaynor and Charles Farrell in Seventh Heaven
(Frank Borzage, 1929); Middle: Spencer Tracy and Loretta
Young in Man's Castle (Borzage, 33); Above: Charles Boyer
Jean Arthur in History is Made at Night (Borzage, 37);
Below: Borzage and Gaynor share the very first Oscar.

Dumb Nuts

A joker without a full deck,

Rush Limbaugh spouts drivel and dreck

On hearing Sean Hannity

one fears for his sanity

They're Einsteins compared to Glenn Beck

----Surly via Norm

Grammer and Spelling

A meeting of Kelsey and Tori
was almost a tabloid lead story
Her gab was so grating
he needed sedating
before the meet cute became gory

Chest of the Pecos

Of outlaws who pestered the west
a few were suggestively dressed
With cattle to rustle
some wore a big bustle
But this is the dress I like best

Sleigh, Lady, Sleigh

Of Dylan's new album be leery
It's no ode to joy--it's just dreary
Explaining his croaking
is life of chain-smoking
Your ears will commit hara-kiri

When Bobby spreads Christmastime cheer

you will not believe what you hear
His holiday rasp
could be a last gasp

He might not record one next year

We mock because we love--Dylan's the greatest.
Merry Christmas!

Heave Ho!

As Santa's sleigh flys through the snow,
he drinks to keep warm, don't you know
In tummy of Kringle
booze, eggnog co-mingle
Gag reflex strikes --look out below!

Merry Christmas everybody, and don't leave the house tonight without your trusty umbrella!

The Sight Before Christmas

A tasteless tradition some cherish
is front yard displays loud and garish
Each snowman of plastic
to them looks fantastic
To me all that crap is nightmarish

Scents Memory

Our memories, triggered by smells
ring long ago dinnertime bells
Aromas of foods
stir far away moods
where childhood nostagic'lly dwells

Arnold Stang, R.I.P.

The late, very great, Arnold Stang
was stuck with a nasally twang
His comical looks
had him playing schnooks
On radio who gave a dang?



Arnold Stang, a character actor whose bespectacled, owlish face and nasal urban twang gave him a singular and recognizable persona, whether on radio or television, in the movies or in advertisements, or even in cartoons, died on Sunday.

Mr. Stang considered himself a dramatic actor who could play serious roles. But even he was aware that with his signature heavy glasses and a manner that could be eagerly solicitous, despondently whiny or dare-you-to-hit-me pugnacious, his forte was comedy.

Mr. Stang was a natural for roles requiring a milquetoast, a pest or a nerd. At 5 foot 3 and never much more than 100 pounds, he once said of himself, “I look like a frightened chipmunk who’s been out in the rain too long.”

“He loved the cartoons, and he liked doing commercials, too,” his wife, JoAnne Stang said of her husband. “But most of all, he loved radio. It offered him such a span of roles.” --Excerpted from his New York Times obit.

Photos: Stang in 1961; With Robert Alda and James Gleason in Two Gals and a Guy (Alfred E. Green, 1951).