Unrest Home

This nut never sleeps in his bed
Can't shut off what creeps in his head
He eats only bugs
Like beetles and slugs
A glutton for cheap eats, undead.

Renfield (Dwight Frye) craves a diet of flies and spiders as he serves his master, Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931).

Stairway to Heavy

Here we find Mr. Lee on the stair
He seems kind and carefree, but beware!
Because sheathed in his smile
Are the teeth that defile
First he grinds them, then see! Now they're bare!

David Cairns

Christopher Lee's Dracula makes a dramatic entrance in (Horror of) Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958) from Hammer films.

Better Deader Than Lederer

Teutonic and tall, dark and harmful
Byronic, appallingly charmful
But the Hammer Films boom
Spelled glamor-boy's doom
With demonic love-dolls by the armful.

David Cairns

Francis Lederer is down for the Count in Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). This was released one month before the film that stole all of its thunder, Terence Fisher's Hammer production Dracula (US: Horror of Dracula, also 1958), released by Universal-International.

All-You-Can-Bleed Buffet

 

Drac escapes to a village that's small
Biting napes there he pillages all
When the veins have run dry
To attain new supply
Off he'll traipse, drink his fill at the mall.

Francis Lederer and Norma Eberhardt in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). Thanks to David Cairns for the edit.

Import/Neck-Sport

In caverns this charmer would lurk
So to travel as cargo's a perk
Through customs he'll sail
Feeling musty and stale
Then, ravenous, charge off berserk.

David Cairns

Francis Lederer is Bellac Gordal/Dracula in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958).

Punched Drunks

These meatheads like boozing in bars
From beatings, their bruises have scars
In no time they clash
They throw down and smash
Defeated, the loser sees stars.

Bluto and Popeye compete in Blow Me Down! (Dave Fleischer; 1933). Title by punchy Donald B. Benson.

Francis the Stalking Ghoul

He preys like a leach, this imposter
Those he sways with his speech join his roster
Despite Francis's splendor
His finances grow slender
And he stays just to teach Jodie Foster.

David Cairns

Just like actor Francis Lederer, the vampire count migrates to America s in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). Fun fact: Francis Lederer was indeed Jodie Foster's drama teacher.

Day For Dwight

Go to guy for mad science-type fun
Prefers spiders and flies--hold the bun
Likes a castle or lab
A black mass would be fab!
Who knows why ol' Dwight Frye has a gun.

Remembering the birthday of a favorite among character actors, Dwight Frye (February 22, 1899 – November 7, 1943). Dwight Iliff Frye didn't only play lackeys in horror films., and by all accounts he was a normal guy. Title by odd fearing Donald B. Benson. Above: Frye is a rare book forger In Fast Company (Edward Buzzell;1938), here getting the drop on Louis Calhern. Below: Frye enjoys a couple of beers at the beach with his wife Laura, son Buddy, and mama with the dog.

Above the Fruited Vein

In a trunk he'll traverse the Atlantic
The old skunk finds his curse makes him frantic
Thus, when "necking" with dames
He bites, wrecks, rips and maims
This blood-junky's perversely romantic.

David Cairns

Dracula (Francis Lederer) moves his coffin to California, U.S.A. in Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). Title by fruitful Donald B.Benson.

No Country For Old Menaces

Drac will suck, and the cherry blood flows
Run amok, he will bury what grows   
Europe's virgins now tarts,
Vampire scourge then departs,
Tries to pluck an American rose.   

Old World Dracula come to America. Francis Lederer spooks Norma Eberhardt in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958).

He Came to See the Bites

Europe's barren and blasted and meaner
Over There, Drac had fasted, grown leaner
But the hateful blood-beast
In the States has a feast
For American pastures are greener.

Surly Hack, Donald B. Benson, and David Cairns 

Dracula (Francis Lederer) hungers for California teenager Rachel (Norma Eberhardt) in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958).

Craze Anatomy

This here fellow's not mincing or snobby
He's a hellraising, insolent swabbie
His two forearms are bloated
And what's more, we have noted
That his elbows and chin are both knobby.

Popeye flexes his sausages--er...um...elbows? Blow Me Down! (Dave Fleischer; 1933).

This Land Was Made For You to Bleed

Old World hack finds it tough to get dates
So he packs up a couple of crates
This elusive guy treks
To find juicier necks
And now Drac struts his stuff in the States.



Francis Lederer and Norma Eberhardt in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958).