R.I.P. Dolores Fuller

As Barb she had problems with men,
who bothered her now and again
One eye on her sweater,
some guys tried to pet her--
Especially cross-dresser, Glen

Delores Fuller as Barbara and Ed Wood as Glen or Glenda (Ed Wood Jr., 1953). Fuller also appeared in one-time boyfriend Wood's Jail Bait and Bride of the Monster, as well as such films as It Happened One Night and The Blue Gardenia. A songwriter, Fuller wrote many songs for Elvis, and others were recorded by Nat Cole and Peggy Lee.

Hideous Slinky

In need of a gene-pool deep-cleanse,
for seed comes the she-thingy Jens
The dudes of her time
are mutants, sub-prime,
so this Barbie hunts breed-worthy Kens

"From Time Unborn..A Hideous She-Thing!" Salome Jens in Terror From the Year 5000 (Robert J. Gurney Jr, 1958).

Schlock Exchange

It dates from the year fifty-eight
And man, does this dud ever date
A time machine journey
that died on the gurney
Salome Jens' legs though, are great



Terror From the Year 5000 (Robert J. Gurney Jr., 1958). Get it? It died on the Gurney. Above: Jens in a still for Angel Baby (1961); Below: Promo still of Joyce Holden. We posted a limerick on the very same film earlier this year and called it Future Schlock.

Terror From The Year 1958

This dud was a waste of a lens
A budget was spent in the tens

Though out and out crap,

what kept me enrapt

was stunning young Salome Jens

Terror From the Year 5000 (Robert J. Gurney Jr, 1958). Actress Salome Jens played the generically named "future woman" and "nurse."

Let George Chew It

My brother is dead, but comes back
He's some sort of B-level Drac
A double for me
on a bloodthirsty spree,
and brother, I'm getting the flak



George Zucco plays good and bad twin brothers brothers in the PRC B horror Dead Men Walk (1943). His sidekick is Dwight Frye. Image source: The always entertaining Monster Movie Music.

A Double on the Rocks

Some maniac's wearing my face
This stranger has taken my place
He's stolen my wife,
my dog and my life,
invading my personal space

A bifurcated Barry Nelson stars in the made in Puerto Rico noir, The Man with My Face (Edward Montagne, 1951).

Near Death House

Their date in the death house was planned
Then fate moved its heavy left hand
His charge in the wind,
Gerard was chagrined:
He'd take him again or get canned


Fate spared The Fugitive but Lieutenant Gerard (Barry Morse) would not relent. Fugitive Fridays continues on Limerwrecks.

Shrink Rap

An expert at head-shrinking pairs
this doctor contrasts and compares
But solving their riddle
gets stuck in the middle
where sisters are putting on Ayres

Above: Psychologist Lew Ayres analyzes twin Olivia de Havillands in The Dark Mirror (Robert Siodmak, 1946). Below: de Havilland, director Robert Siodmak and Ayres (Image source: A Certain Cinema).

Double Your Honey

When budgets grow out of control
Stop throwing your dough down a hole
Cast an actress as twins
And economy wins
'Cause you pay by the day, not the role.

David Cairns

Bette Davis times two in A Stolen Life (Curtis Bernhardt, 1946). As the copy to the film's posters claim: "Bette Davis is doubly wonderful in her double role!" "Bette plays two roles...Too wonderful for words!"

R.I.P. Yvette Vickers

The fifties will never forget
the 50 Ft. sexpot Yvette
She used to perform
in schools of reform
where her gifts made the gentlemen sweat



Actress, model, pin-up and singer Yvette Vickers has died. She's seen here strutting her stuff in Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1958). Her resume also includes Reform School Girl (1957), Attack of the Giant Leaches (1958) and the centerfold as Playboy's Playmate of the Month, July 1959. Image source: Lileks Bleat

Bette Bi

I'll bet neither Bette's a nun,
and getting in bed leads to fun
They'll turn out the light
and learn overnight
two Bettes are better than one



Bette Davis is a twofer in A Stolen Life (Curtis Bernhardt, 1946). I'd apologize to Bette as I did to Olivia, but The Dark Mirror is twice the film A Stolen life is.

Twin Bedding

Here's one for you Doublemint lovers:
Twins cuddling under the covers
One tries to resist her
identical sister...
Who knows what this duo discovers

Olivia de Havilland is excellent as the twisted sisters, and certainly doesn't deserve this smarmy rhyme inspired by a scene from The Dark Mirror (Robert Siodmak, 1946).

The Two-sual Suspects

One sister is healthy, one's sick
To tell them apart is the trick
One actress, twin-billing
Which half does the killing?
This dick has to pick, double quick



Too many Olivia de Havillands confounds homicide detective Thomas Mitchell in The Dark Mirror (Robert Siodmak, 1946).