Cutting Bored

In scene that seems pure Halloween
a guy leans on a warm guillotine
He's just cut off a head
but he cares not a shred
The procedure is strictly routine

Erich Von Stroheim in The Mask of Dijon (Lew Landers, 1946).

Wince by a Head

The guillotine's starting to drop
Look out when it comes to a stop
Offered cake, needing bread
things come to a head
The French take some off of the top


Photos: The Invisible Dr. Mabuse /Die unsichtbaren Krallen
des Dr. Mabuse (Harald Reinl, 1962)

Happy Birthday, Gene Ha!

You've forty lit candles to blow
You smile, and your face is aglow
Underlit, you're a fright
from low candle light
Let's hope the next forty go slow

Comics artist Gene Ha kisses a troll at the Emerald City Con.

Bubble Trouble

When she calls me up, it's a pain!

and what she says to me's in vain
She just shouldn't ought'r
Cuz she's under water
I can't understand what she's sayin'!

Norm



She talks way too much when she phones
On shopping and boys always drones
But here's the real shocker
she calls from the locker
belonging to one Davey Jones

Surly

This concludes our week long gallery tour of the photos of
Bruce Mozert, underwater photography pioneer. Time to
towel off. Pics: Smithsonion.com

Waikiki Weakened

A fish playing hooky from school, a

gal dancing to uke does the hula
How do they hold poses
without holding noses?
They're pros, and they do it for moolah!

Norm



When Hans pulled his finger from dyke
'cross farmland swam walleye and pike
And undersea lasses
sashayed in the grasses
as wet ukulele played Ike

Surly

Photo by Bruce Mozert, a pioneer in underwater
photography. Courtesy of Smithsonion.com

Mow, Mow, Mow Your Boat

Well watered, lawns rapidly grow
increasing the need for a mow
Cutting grass when it's wet
will work up a sweat
so gardeners go with the flow

Yet another photo by that pioneer in underwater
gag photography, Bruce Mozert. Smithsonion.com

Watering Hole In One

When golfing a hazard means trouble
A bogey, or even a double
Hit trap in a lake?
Your par you won't make
I'm sorry for bursting your bubble

Photo by 20,000 leagues underwater photographer,
Bruce Mozert. Courtesy of Smithsonion.com

Fish Or Cute Bait

A fisherman needs to use bait

of just the right size and right weight

But what kind of schnook

would put on his hook
his girlfriend while out on a date?

Norm

Photo by Bruce Mozert, a pioneer in underwater
photography. Courtesy of Smithsonion.com

Rout of Time

Time flies and you're not having fun
It's over before you've begun
It's not on your side
you run but can't hide
It's up and your time here is done


Top: Dick Powell in Murder My Sweet; Above: Dali design from Moontide

Cadaver Palaver

They're always the last place you look
They'll hide them in any old nook
When stashing a stiff
one works in a jiff
Just ask any corpse-bearing crook

Rigor mortis has set in to Paperback Week.

Nude Orleans

For beads she had tossed off her bra
It happened just last Mardis Gras
And in the French Quarter
he doffed his supporter
Half nude they committed faux pas

Sight For Four Eyes

Her negligee cannot disguise
a body on which an egg fries
From ruby red lips
way down past her hips
Each part for attention now vies

Speed Thrills

We all have a passion for speed
The limit we love to exceed
We miss the sublime
not taking our time
and hastily doing the deed