Rote Couture

With pistols and trench coats and hats
no tough guy would ever wear spats
Try old fashioned dandies
with snifters of brandies
not mugs with a penchant for gats

Bargain Debasement

In Hollywood's B movie heap
the celluloid's stacked wide and steep
On poverty row
low price-tags will show
In noir that means death on the cheap

Death on the Cheap by Arthur Lyons is a great
book that reviews the most obscure noir films and
explains the forces at play in Hollywood when they
were being made. Read more about the book here.

Follow Triumph

A dummy that's dressed for the kill
the mannequin sits very still
It's taking the place
of man with no face
It's motionless, that is, until...


A nifty noir, Follow Me Quietly (Richard Fleischer, 1949).
Photos courtesy of dvdbeaver.com and arbogastonfilm

Knockdown Set-Up

A fighter has fought his last bout
He's broken and hasn't the clout
He followed his hunches
and didn't pull punches
but fate knocked him down and he's out


Robert Ryan in The Set-Up (Robert Wise, 1947)

Carrying a Torch Singer

Half-croaking, a torch singer croons
While smoking her way through the tunes
As cigarettes dangle
With danger she'll tangle,
Provoking the king of the loons.




Roadhouse (1948, Jean Negulesco) is a gorgeously goofy forties melodrama, shot by the great Joseph LaShelle. With the North woods saloon/bowling alley set, Ida Lupino's half-lit torch singer and Celeste Holm's wisecracking cashier, it's also a barrel of fun. Throw in Richard Widmark's cackling psycho routine and it all boils over the top into a noir climax. Images: dvdbeaver and eternalsunshine

Gunned Moll

From danger this dame wouldn't shyThe gal liked the wrong kind of guy

Though squealing, she wouldn't

she saw what she shouldn't

So boyfriend hung girl out to dry

Image: Hazel Brooks, 1947

Nancy With the Lying Face

Of stealing, a girl was accused
Her ego, too fragile, was bruised
And so, in a panic
she turned klepto-manic
The Locket, with flashbacks, just oozed



In director John Brahm's The Locket (1946), Laraine Day plays Nancy, a woman whose troubled past is revealed in a flashback within a flashback within a flashback, a labyrinthine structure well suited to post-war film noir and psychological melodrama. (Click on poster to enlarge)

Park Your Wienermobile, Big Boy?

A car that had boar on the floor
was rammed through a poor garage door
The driver's demeanor
and giant red wiener
implied that they wanted to score



And the Oscar Mayer Goes To...

A parking job none would admire
Perhaps the car blew out a tire
The driver's mistake?
Not hitting the brake
Distraught at the loss of O. Mayer

On the heels of the death of Oscar Mayer the 3rd
comes this tragic Wienermobile accident. AP photo.

Alone Together

I walk all alone, but with her
'cause blonds are the broads I prefer
I'll try and I'll fail
and end up in jail
and all 'cause she wanted a fur



In prison I worked in the gym
I'm out and I'll tear limb from limb
My partner in crime
let me do the time
Now he'll get what's coming to him


Like a bad penny, Noir Week returns to Limerwrecks, and this
time it's a fortnight: a double-dose of danger, dames, and doom.

The Hulk, Smashed

Incredibly drunk was Bruce Banner
His breath set off gamma-ray scanner
They treated him mean
which made him turn green
and act in a very rude manner

Watch the amusing Hulk Smashed Youtube video, here

Face Frontal

Her features were somehow misplaced
And now they all must be replaced
Except for her eyes
which stare in surprise
it seems that this girl was de-faced



Georges Franju's Les Yeux Sans Visage (Eyes Without a Face, 1960)
is one of the creepiest and most haunting horror films ever made.


You're getting sleepy, your eyelids are growing heavy...
we're shutting Eyeball Week at Limerwrecks.

Here's Looking at...Ewwww!

She's got Bette Davis's eyes
You should have seen Bette's surprise
Pried out of their sockets
and hidden in pockets
they're rotting and gathering flies

Shutterbugged

Her photos sensationalize
the fashion of sex and demise
Then killer's-eye-views come
with visions so gruesome
it's murder to look through her eyes


Eyes of Laura Mars (Irvin Kershner, 1978)

Faye Dunaway stars as Laura Mars, a glamour photographer
whose controversial work foreshadows a series of real murders.