Defrosted Flakes

Two characters, frozen, seemed lost
One hairy, morose, and star-crossed
One assembled from parts
His brain empty, no smarts
Now this pair of old bozos defrost.

Dr. Gustav Niemann (Boris Karloff) and Daniel the hunchback (J. Carrol Naish) discover and thaw the frozen forms of the Monster (Glenn Strange) and the Wolf Man ( Lon Chaney Jr): House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Frosty the Wolfman

When Talbot gets hit by a wave
He's called to a bitter cold grave
But he's thawed like Buck Rogers
By an odd pair of codgers
An appalling old shit and his knave.

David Cairns and Surly Hack


At the end of the previous film in the series, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943), werewolf Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr) was submerged in a flood, presumed drowned. In House of Frankenstein (1944), his frozen body is discovered by hunchback Daniel (J Carrol Naish) and his mad doctor boss (Boris Karloff).

Ice House of Frankenstein

There's a chill 'neath this castle of lore
Where two killers, quite nasty, explore
They find beings on ice
Monstrous things not-so-nice
Which the villainous bastards restore.

In House of Frankenstein (1944), hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) and Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) discover what happened to the Monster and the Wolf Man when Frankenstein's Castle was flooded at end of the previous film in the series,  Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943).

Humped Day

With designs on Ilonka, poor Daniel
Has divined how to bonk from a manual
But his back is so bent
Like a sack of cement
He just pines like a wan cocker spaniel.

David Cairns

J. Carrol Naish is the lovesick hunchback Daniel in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

A Spine Romance

She's conventional, fine with conformity
He's a henchman with spinal deformity
So much more than a bump
It's a horrible hump
And the wench can't get by it's enormity.


Hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) has an unrequited crush on gypsy girl Ilonka (Elena Verdugo): House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). The fine title is courtesy of David Shadowplay Cairns.

Lovesicko

At her fervid, frenetic folk dance
He gets nervous and wet in the pants
By her shrine he is pining
But his spine needs aligning
Dan with curvy brunettes stands no chance.



In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1944), hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) has a thing for gypsy Ilonka (Elena Verdugo).

Love Among the Fluids

To the humid old ruins of Frankie
Comes a gloomy old screwball grown cranky
Plus his hunchback assistant
With a love so persistent
That in tombs he pursues hanky-panky.

Dr. Niemann and the hunchback Daniel travel to Visaria and the flooded ruins of Frankenstein's Castle. Boris Karloff and J. Carrol Naish in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Plotz Structure

The structure seems wacky, ungainly
It gets stuck tracking Dracula, mainly
But the pace starts to pick up
By erasing this hiccup
When the sucker gets whacked inhumanely.

David Cairns with Surly Hack

In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944), each of the three monsters, in turn, gets their own story. Dracula (John Carradine) is up first, and both he and his segment fizzle when his coffin is left out in the sun.

No-Account Dracula

The Count makes a slight fright-film return
Where the rake now each bite has to earn
Then the doc who's his boss
Gives his box quite a toss
And, awake at first light, Drac must burn.


John Carradine is Dracula in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Here's an earlier lim on the  Count's demise in HOF.

Wined and Carradined

In this drivel Count Drac gives no shiver
His uncivil attacks can't deliver
And this consummate ham
Is so fond of a dram
That he shrivels away like his liver.

David Cairns

John Carradine is Count Latos, aka Dracula, in the Universal monster mash-up, House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Thin White Spook

He's a Dracula eel-like, urbane
A cruel heel who could slip down a drain
He's so svelte as a norm
That his skeletal form
Paradoxically feels like weight gain.

David Cairns

John Carradine is a suave Dracula in House of Frankenstein (1944).

That Old Drac Magic

Retracting the usual stake
Causes Dracula, snoozing, to wake
Into service you press
The old perv in fine dress
And, lips smacking, he's soon on the make.



Dr. Niemann revives Dracula and makes him do his bidding: Boris Karloff, dapper John Carradine, and Anne Gwynne in House of Frankenstein (1944). Title by Drac-of-all-trades, David Cairns.

Carnival of Soul Suckers

This old wreck is a boffo big draw!
Spend your shekels, his coffin will awe!
But don't ever revive him
You will never survive him
On your necks Nosferatu will gnaw.

Impersonating a murdered showman, Doctor Niemann (Boris Karloff) reveals the skeleton of Count Dracula (John Carradine), in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Thanks to David Cairns.

Kismet of Death

At his enemies' beds he'll attend
Many men six feet deep will descend
But to fate-come-too-soon
One who hates ain't immune
And this menace will meet a dead end.

Surly Hack with David Cairns

House of Frankenstein (1944): Boris Karloff plays Dr. Niemann, an escaped convict and mad brain-transplanter bent on revenge.

Bumped Off Your Wagon

This mad medical menace ain't healing
Brains from heads he intends to start stealing
From a horror road show
He spills gore on-the-go
His revenge leaving enemies reeling.



In House of Frankenstein (1944), Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) has his hunchback assistant (J Carrol Naish) murder Professor Lampini (George Zucco), then impersonates the travelling showman.In House of Frankenstein (1944), Dr.Niemann (Boris Karloff) has his hunchback assistant (J Carrol Naish) kill Professor Lampini (George Zucco), then impersonates the travelling showman.

The Creature Walks a Mongrel

His new hound on a leash he will lead
An astounding caprice, we're agreed
There's no jumping for joy
At his lumpy Borzoi
A confounding beast/human crossbreed.

David Cairns

"Mad Doctor" Gustav Niemann (Boris Karloff), contemplates another canine-human brain transplant in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). 

Heir of the Dog

This nutjob has messed with your head
One cut and you wished you were dead
The new brain he installed
From some canine was hauled
Now a mutt, you are less than well bred.

Hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) assists a mad doctor (Boris Karloff) in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Citizen Canine

The new horror Doc Niemann unleashes
Is one more of his screaming pastiches
This mad surgeon's odd plan
Is to merge dog and man
But his Corgi-brained scheme is quite specious.

In House of Frankenstein (1944), Boris Karloff stars as Dr. Niemann, imprisoned for performing a dog-human brain transplant.

Jailhouse of Frankenstein

For these fellows locked tight it's good luck
When their cellblock by lightning is struck
Now set free to cause trouble
The two flee from the rubble
And, pell-mell, in the night run amok.

In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944), escaped convicts Daniel, a hunchback (J. Carrol Naish), and Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) set off on a killing spree.

Rough Dog-Sledding

His experiments, far from routine,
Are affairs which would mar Halloween
In an Airedale your brain
Is the terrier's gain,
Your three squares his Purina cuisine.

J. Carrol Naish and Boris Karloff transplant brains in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Mutts Up, Doc?

This quack is as nuts as they get
A wacko, to mutts he's a threat
Own a wonderful pug?
Hide it under a rug
Brain extracting, he'll cut up your pet.

Boris Karloff plays mad Dr. Niemann in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944), though this still is from Black Friday (1940).

The Wagon-y and the Ecstasy

It's a very enlightening show
Full of rare, terror sights and tableaux
You'll view horrors historic
And two gore-hounds euphoric
Plus one scary old biter in tow.



In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944), the highlight of the travelling "Chamber of Horrors" is "The Actual Skeleton of Count Dracula the Vampire". Drac is played by John Carradine; the pair of "gore-hounds" are Dr. Niemann and Daniel, a hunchback, played by Boris Karloff and J. Carrol Naish.

Murderers' Row House

So they hijack a travelling show
It's a highway borne murderer's row
When this hunchback and doc
Start in punching the clock
People die most wherever they go.

In House of Frankenstein (1944), escaped convicts Daniel, a hunchback (J. Carrol Naish), and Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff), a vengeance-driven madman, commandeer a travelling "Chamber of Horrors."

Take a Hiker!

Never pick up this menacing hitcher
He's a tricky, demented head-stitcher
Nor his hunchback assistant
Necks he'll crunch in an instant
For the sick, unrepentant brain-switcher.

In House of Frankenstein (1944), travelling showman Lampini (George Zucco) is quickly dispatched by escaped convicts Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) and hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish).

Offed On the Wagon

On historical freaks he's a scholar
From their lore this bore ekes out a dollar
But when lowlifes from heck
Start to go for his neck
The poor horror show geek starts to holler.



Travelling showman Professor Bruno Lampini (George Zucco) is quickly dispatched by escaped convicts Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) and Daniel, a hunchback (J. Carrol Naish) in the amusing if minor monster mash-up, House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Bobo Frets

This is Cry For Bobo, a short film written and directed by my multi-talented co-LimerWrecker, David Cairns. Enjoy.

Wag the Doggerel

On the table a fellow reclined
Niemann's patient, now well in his mind
Once insane, he's much better
With the brain of a setter
Though he may try to smell your behind.

In House of Frankenstein (944), Glenn Strange is the dumb, lumbering Monster; Boris Karloff is mad doc Gustav Niemann, obsessed with performing the first dog-human brain transplant.

Man's Best Fiend

As a surgeon, this fake is the worst
On the table folks wake feeling cursed
For their brains, in great haste,
By Great Danes' were replaced
And from toilets they're slaking their thirst.

Boris Karloff is Dr.Gustav Niemann, obsessed with the dog-human brain transplant in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Doggie Style Council

On brains and transplanting, here's how
First restrain both a man and a Chow
Do lobectomies, which,
Reconnecting, you switch
To the strains of the band Bow Wow Wow.

Crazy Dr. Niemann diagrams a dog/human brain transplant on the wall of his prison cell:  Boris Karloff in House of Frankenstein (1944).

Dog's Body

This doc dreams of a canine brain switch
Though the scheme's quite insane, it's a stitch
You he'll make a believer
And awake, a Retriever
Your new theme and refrain "Life's a bitch!"

David Cairns

In House of Frankenstein (1944), Boris Karloff is Dr.Gustav Niemann, the criminal mastermind behind a dog-human brain transplant.

Dr. Terrier's House of Horrier

Dr Niemann's vain, lunatic folly
Schemed to spoon my brain into a collie
He'd make everything dark
Then I'd wake with a bark
It's the dream of a goon off his trolley.

David Cairns

In a playful still from House of Frankenstein (1944), Boris Karloff as Dr.Niemann, and J. Carrol Naish as the hunchback Daniel threaten Jack Pierce, Universal's ace make up artist.