Sunday, April 8, 2018

Closed



We're closed for vacation. See you soon.

Image: The Isle of Pingo Pongo (Tex Avery;1938)

Friday, April 6, 2018

Gaffe Riot



You sigh...you would weep but you laugh
Your guy is a creep and a half
He fetches a brain
That's wretched, insane
Just why do you keep him on staff?

The Three Oddfathers: Surly Hack, Donald B. Benson and David Cairns

Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931): Colin Clive as Henry, Dwight Frye as Fritz, and some poor guy's legs.
LimerWrecks is going on vacation. See you in a few weeks.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Man Of a Thousand Races



Fu Manchu is a tall, English bloke
And guess who plays this thing in a cloak?
On the banks of the Nile
He looks rank, but has style
Just a few of Lee's string of strange folk.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee played many famous and exotic fictional characters. Here he is as Fu Manchu, Dracula, and the Mummy.

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Fright In the Kisser!



With a face like a wad of chewed gum
This disgrace looks quite shoddy and dumb
He shambles about
And then, BLAM! blood will gout
Is he wasted? The sod won't succumb!

David Cairns

Christopher Lee's putty-nosed creature somehow survives a bullet to the face in The Curse of Frankenstein (Terence Fisher;1957).

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Curses! Soiled again!



The monster's a mess, diabolic
A nonsense, distressed, spawn of Moloch
When they view him onscreen
People spew vivid green
A response more-or-less Jackson Pollock.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee is a memorable monster in The Curse of Frankenstein (Terence Fisher;1957).

Monday, April 2, 2018

Perversatility



From a flask all a-foam Lee's been sipping
As a Baskerville, home comes with yipping
As a mummy, all swathed
He looks scummy, unbathed
From a casket he'll roam and start nipping.

David Cairns



From David: "The late Christopher Lee played most of the classic horror roles, from a version of Jekyll and Hyde in I, Monster, to Kharis the Mummy in The Mummy, to Dracula in a slew of Hammer horrors. He also played Sir Henry Baskerville in The Hound of the Baskervilles, not to mention Mycroft Holmes in The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and Sherlock Holmes in Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace."



Images: I, Monster (Stephen Weeks; 1971); The Mummy (Terence Fisher; 1959); The Hound of the Baskervilles (Terence Fisher; 1959)

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Zombie Flesh Easter



It's Easter, give praise, do not mourn
Your deceased savior's raised and reborn
But these dead, now alive
Open heads to survive
And will feast on your brains Sunday morn.

Pasty-faced extras lurch through Night of the Living Dead (1968). Our title is by David Cairns, and is a nod to Zombies 2, aka Zombie Flesh Eaters (1979). We're going to hell in an Easter basket for reposting this limerick. 

Blood and Sandra



This doctor is not so much mad
As locked in a plot serving Vlad
On her windpipe he sucked
Out the window she's chucked
Onto rocks, then forgotten...it's sad!

The animated credits in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Lenore Aubert plays surgeon Sandra Mornay, who assists Dracula in his scheme to replace the brain in the Monster.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Working the Dwight Shift



Not too bright, the defective Fritz lurks 
What a frightful collection of quirks
He's a creep and a slob
And to keep his new job  
He works nights resurrecting dead jerks.

John Boles, Mae Clarke, Dwight Frye and Colin Clive in a quiet moment from Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931). Title by shifty Donald B. Benson.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Gone With the Windpipe


 
His lust is inspired by her nape
And he must quench its fire, mouth agape
Her jugular vein
Makes him bug-eyed, insane
And her bust lights a pyre 'neath his cape.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee chomps on Isla Blair in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970). Title by doggone Donald B. Benson.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Necks in Line



Their throats are the bits he does crave
So he floats from the pit of his grave
And his canines he'll sink
In some jane, then he'll drink
Until, bloated, he's spit-roast by stave.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee, Isla Blair and Linda Hayden in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970).

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Why Dracula Rises Again



Into bedrooms, eyes gleaming, he'll steal
Where the ready young females will peel
But it's hunger, not lust
For a young, heaving bust--
This undead craves a steamy, hot meal.        

Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by early riser Donald B. Benson.

Monday, March 26, 2018

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Darkness



A grim reaper who bites on the throat
He would sweep through the night and then gloat
By his crimson-lined shroud
All the bimbos were wowed
He would creep up, alight, and emote.

David Cairns

Veronica Carlson and Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Out of the InkHell



A team of redoubtable goons
Who seem to come out on full moons
With fang, claw, and bolt
This gang sends a jolt
Don't scream! These three louts are cartoons.

In Mickey's Gala Premiere (Burt Gillett; 1933), Bela Lugosi (dressed as Count Dracula), Fredric March (as Mr. Hyde) and Boris Karloff (as Frankenstein's monster) attend the premiere of a Mickey Mouse cartoon at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. Title out of  Donald B. Benson.

Friday, March 23, 2018

Crawl of the Wild



For what made him a creep there's no drug
He'll persuade you to deep fry a bug
Get a net -- he's a louse
If he's let in the house
Be afraid, and don't sleep on the rug.

Renfield (Dwight Frye) comes a-crawling in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Title by Donald B. Benson, wild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Going Down for the Count



Film odysseys dripping with gore
With bodices ripping galore!
With nothing to hide
Each gothic vamp bride
Immodestly strips on the floor.

Christopher Lee and devotees in a publicity still for Dracula A.D. 1972 (Alan Gibson; 1972). No such scene appears in the film, naturally. Count on Donald B. Benson for a title.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

As You Spike It



Never fool with these sickos, don't toy
They're too ghoulish and wicked, me boy
When you're near the undead
Keep a clear, level head
Run 'em through with a stick and destroy!



Barry Andrews and Ewan Hooper drive a stake through Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by Donald B. Benson, as we like it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Never Give a Bloodsucker an Even Break



For this shifty old creep hold a wake
When he drifts off to sleep, kill the snake!
Don't sweat it, don't soften
Just get to his coffin
Strike swiftly and deep with a stake.

Christopher Lee has his hands full in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Monday, March 19, 2018

Dracula Has Risen From the Gravy



With gore on his lips he's done eating
Once more to his crypt he's retreating
And then, the next night,
Again he will bite
These horror film scripts keep repeating.

Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Sunday, March 18, 2018

From Dusk to Drawn

 

Beware when were-ghouls start to prowl
Their character's dual--their breath foul
These furry cartoons
Live during full moons
And werewolves will drool--get a towel!



The Wolf Man (and Dracula) in the animated opening credits to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Title by dusky Donald B. Benson.

Friday, March 16, 2018

Regrets Only

 

By this bastard you've just been invited
To his castle both dusty and blighted.
Soon you'll crave things that crawl
As his slavey and thrall
And with nasty bug-lust grow excited.

Dracula (Bela Lugosi) welcomes Renfield (Dwight Frye) to Castle Dracula (Tod Bowning; 1931). Edit and title by the one and only Donald B. Benson.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Die, Fledermaus!

.
In the fifties the features got sicker
Walking stiffs would play leach in each flicker
A stake through the chest
Would make them at rest
Less terrific with teak in the ticker.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee is Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958).

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Pout For the Count



He's so dark, tall and gruesome onscreen
Smiling sharklike, all toothsome, dentine
With his fangs in their necks
Girls go languid, all sex
And loll starkers in twosomes obscene.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee, puts the bite on Isla Blair in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970).

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Bat and the Beautiful



Chris Lee as Count Drac is compelling
At evil attractive, excelling
But "blue" moves the tix
So new to the mix:
The cleavage of actresses, swelling.

Model and actress Glenda Adams and Christopher Lee in a promo photo shoot for Dracula AD 1972 (1972). Don't hate title writer David Cairns because he's beautiful.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Welcome Back Rotter



Look there! His black cape is unfurling
The hair on your nape started curling!
He's back, but there's more
This Drac demands gore
You stare, mouth agape -- then start hurling!



Suzan Farmer, as Diana Kent, falls under the power of Christopher Lee, Dracula: Prince of Darkness (Terence Fisher; 1966).

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Reanimania



The monster is feckless and large
Into johns he will recklessly barge
This wreck among dolts
With neck-affixed bolts
Turns on by electrical charge.

Dracula, the Monster, and the Wolf Man stalk through the animated credits to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). That third figure is not a distaff werewolf--it's Lenore Aubert, who played Dr. Sandra Mornay, a beautiful but sinister scientist.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Working the Dwight Shift



He stares with maniacal eyes
"Three squares" means a diet of flies
When henchmen are needed
To the trenches Dwight's speeded
For characters, Frye takes the prize.

Dwight Frye climbs the walls as the insect-eating "Renfield" in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Shifty Donald B. Benson provided the title for this instalment of Dwight Frye-days.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

The Gore, the Scarier?



A new era with lashings of gore
This year it's the fashion to pour
Crimson goop on a starlet
Till the trouper turns scarlet
Is this fear, or a crashing great bore?

David Cairns

Caroline Munro is awash in the Hammer Films production Dracula A.D. 1972 (Alan Gibson; 1972). Title by snorehound Donald B. Benson.

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Mess Hall of Horrors



This nightmarish Drac is a sickie
His frightening snacking quite sticky
With gore his jaw's dripping
On the floor you'll be slipping
It might make you yack it's so icky.

Christopher Lee has his fill as Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958). Title by mess hall monitor Donald B. Benson.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Hammer and Sicko



Many fright films were looking old hat
Like a bite from a "spooky" fake bat
They seemed cruddy and duller
Though the bloody new color
Really might make you puke with a splat!

David Cairns

Blood splashes onto Dracula's tomb in the memorable opening shot of Dracula aka Horror of Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958). Look out, black and white fans, it's Hammer's time at LimerWrecks.

Monday, March 5, 2018

Welcome Bat



When Lugosi descends his grand stair
We're supposed to attend, get a scare
But when Chris Lee acts charming
It is this that's alarming
He's not ghostly, just friendly: Beware!

David Cairns

Bela Lugosi is Dracula (Todd Browning; 1931).

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Undead Cred



They're moldy, these three, they're old hat
The cold one roams free as a bat
These spawn out of hell
Were drawn on a cel
That's old school 2-D, which is flat.

Dracula -- Bela Lugosi: From the animated title credits sequence in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Friday, March 2, 2018

Unrest Home



This nut never sleeps in his bed
Can't shut off what creeps in his head
He eats only bugs
Like beetles and slugs
A glutton for cheap eats, undead.

Renfield (Dwight Frye) craves a diet of flies and spiders as he serves his master, Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931).

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Stairway to Heavy



Here we find Mr. Lee on the stair
He seems kind and carefree, but beware!
Because sheathed in his smile
Are the teeth that defile
First he grinds them, then see! Now they're bare!

David Cairns

Christopher Lee's Dracula makes a dramatic entrance in (Horror of) Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958) from Hammer films.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Better Deader Than Lederer



Teutonic and tall, dark and harmful
Byronic, appallingly charmful
But the Hammer Films boom
Spelled glamor-boy's doom
With demonic love-dolls by the armful.

David Cairns

Francis Lederer is down for the Count in Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). This was released one month before the film that stole all of its thunder, Terence Fisher's Hammer production Dracula (US: Horror of Dracula, also 1958), released by Universal-International.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

All-You-Can-Bleed Buffet

 

Drac escapes to a village that's small
Biting napes there he pillages all
When the veins have run dry
To attain new supply
Off he'll traipse, drink his fill at the mall.

Francis Lederer and Norma Eberhardt in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). Thanks to David Cairns for the edit.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Import/Neck-Sport



In caverns this charmer would lurk
So to travel as cargo's a perk
Through customs he'll sail
Feeling musty and stale
Then, ravenous, charge off berserk.

David Cairns

Francis Lederer is Bellac Gordal/Dracula in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958).

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Punched Drunks



These meatheads like boozing in bars
From beatings, their bruises have scars
In no time they clash
They throw down and smash
Defeated, the loser sees stars.

Bluto and Popeye compete in Blow Me Down! (Dave Fleischer; 1933). Title by punchy Donald B. Benson.

Friday, February 23, 2018

Francis the Stalking Ghoul



He preys like a leach, this imposter
Those he sways with his speech join his roster
Despite Francis's splendor
His finances grow slender
And he stays just to teach Jodie Foster.

David Cairns

Just like actor Francis Lederer, the vampire count migrates to America s in The Return of Dracula (Paul Landres; 1958). Fun fact: Francis Lederer was indeed Jodie Foster's drama teacher.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Day For Dwight



Go to guy for mad science-type fun
Prefers spiders and flies--hold the bun
Likes a castle or lab
A black mass would be fab!
Who knows why ol' Dwight Frye has a gun.

Remembering the birthday of a favorite among character actors, Dwight Frye (February 22, 1899 – November 7, 1943). Dwight Iliff Frye didn't only play lackeys in horror films., and by all accounts he was a normal guy. Title by odd fearing Donald B. Benson. Above: Frye is a rare book forger In Fast Company (Edward Buzzell;1938), here getting the drop on Louis Calhern. Below: Frye enjoys a couple of beers at the beach with his wife Laura, son Buddy, and mama with the dog.