Defrosted Flakes

Two characters, frozen, seemed lost
One hairy, morose, and star-crossed
One assembled from parts
His brain empty, no smarts
Now this pair of old bozos defrost.

Dr. Gustav Niemann (Boris Karloff) and Daniel the hunchback (J. Carrol Naish) discover and thaw the frozen forms of the Monster (Glenn Strange) and the Wolf Man ( Lon Chaney Jr): House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Frosty the Wolfman

When Talbot gets hit by a wave
He's called to a bitter cold grave
But he's thawed like Buck Rogers
By an odd pair of codgers
An appalling old shit and his knave.

David Cairns and Surly Hack


At the end of the previous film in the series, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943), werewolf Larry Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr) was submerged in a flood, presumed drowned. In House of Frankenstein (1944), his frozen body is discovered by hunchback Daniel (J Carrol Naish) and his mad doctor boss (Boris Karloff).

Ice House of Frankenstein

There's a chill 'neath this castle of lore
Where two killers, quite nasty, explore
They find beings on ice
Monstrous things not-so-nice
Which the villainous bastards restore.

In House of Frankenstein (1944), hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) and Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) discover what happened to the Monster and the Wolf Man when Frankenstein's Castle was flooded at end of the previous film in the series,  Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943).

Humped Day

With designs on Ilonka, poor Daniel
Has divined how to bonk from a manual
But his back is so bent
Like a sack of cement
He just pines like a wan cocker spaniel.

David Cairns

J. Carrol Naish is the lovesick hunchback Daniel in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

A Spine Romance

She's conventional, fine with conformity
He's a henchman with spinal deformity
So much more than a bump
It's a horrible hump
And the wench can't get by it's enormity.


Hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) has an unrequited crush on gypsy girl Ilonka (Elena Verdugo): House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). The fine title is courtesy of David Shadowplay Cairns.

Lovesicko

At her fervid, frenetic folk dance
He gets nervous and wet in the pants
By her shrine he is pining
But his spine needs aligning
Dan with curvy brunettes stands no chance.



In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1944), hunchback Daniel (J. Carrol Naish) has a thing for gypsy Ilonka (Elena Verdugo).

Love Among the Fluids

To the humid old ruins of Frankie
Comes a gloomy old screwball grown cranky
Plus his hunchback assistant
With a love so persistent
That in tombs he pursues hanky-panky.

Dr. Niemann and the hunchback Daniel travel to Visaria and the flooded ruins of Frankenstein's Castle. Boris Karloff and J. Carrol Naish in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Plotz Structure

The structure seems wacky, ungainly
It gets stuck tracking Dracula, mainly
But the pace starts to pick up
By erasing this hiccup
When the sucker gets whacked inhumanely.

David Cairns with Surly Hack

In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944), each of the three monsters, in turn, gets their own story. Dracula (John Carradine) is up first, and both he and his segment fizzle when his coffin is left out in the sun.

No-Account Dracula

The Count makes a slight fright-film return
Where the rake now each bite has to earn
Then the doc who's his boss
Gives his box quite a toss
And, awake at first light, Drac must burn.


John Carradine is Dracula in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Here's an earlier lim on the  Count's demise in HOF.

Wined and Carradined

In this drivel Count Drac gives no shiver
His uncivil attacks can't deliver
And this consummate ham
Is so fond of a dram
That he shrivels away like his liver.

David Cairns

John Carradine is Count Latos, aka Dracula, in the Universal monster mash-up, House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Thin White Spook

He's a Dracula eel-like, urbane
A cruel heel who could slip down a drain
He's so svelte as a norm
That his skeletal form
Paradoxically feels like weight gain.

David Cairns

John Carradine is a suave Dracula in House of Frankenstein (1944).

That Old Drac Magic

Retracting the usual stake
Causes Dracula, snoozing, to wake
Into service you press
The old perv in fine dress
And, lips smacking, he's soon on the make.



Dr. Niemann revives Dracula and makes him do his bidding: Boris Karloff, dapper John Carradine, and Anne Gwynne in House of Frankenstein (1944). Title by Drac-of-all-trades, David Cairns.

Carnival of Soul Suckers

This old wreck is a boffo big draw!
Spend your shekels, his coffin will awe!
But don't ever revive him
You will never survive him
On your necks Nosferatu will gnaw.

Impersonating a murdered showman, Doctor Niemann (Boris Karloff) reveals the skeleton of Count Dracula (John Carradine), in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Thanks to David Cairns.