Lost and Sound

Guitarist straight out of Nantucket
did not use a pick--he'd just pluck it
But, ear to the ground
he picked up a sound
He'd found the lost chord and he struck it

Pigskin Charade

With her I'd like playing so much

Don't care if it's tackle or touch

I'd jack up the score

and I'd be so sore

My equipment would need its own crutch

I, Miss Uniroyal

This dame's nearly eighteen feet tall!
They say her name's "Vanna White Wall"
Peoria's lass
is all fiberglass
Please mind where you stand, she might fall

To read about Peoria's "Vanna", go here

Maxine Cooper, R.I.P.

As Velda, worked under Mike Hammer
providing the "Woo Bait" and glamour
The Kiss Me Dead star
did not go too far
but just far enough to enamor

Maxine Cooper Gomberg, a Chicago-born actress best known
for playing the secretary in the 1955 film noir classic "Kiss Me
Deadly," has died. She was 84.

In "Deadly," private detective Mike Hammer specilaizes in
divorce cases. His secretary Velda lures men into compro-
mising postions for Hammer to photograph.

Ms. Gomberg was also a social activist, helping to organize
actors, writers and executives to march in the 1960s with
the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. in Montgomery, Ala. She
also marshaled the entertainment community to participate
in protests against the Vietnam War and nuclear weapons,
among other causes.

Happy-Go-Yucky

I'm happy and don't give a damn
As happy, perhaps, as a clam
A mollusk, if moody
would bollocks this foodie,
as apt to cram bivalves I am

Red Velvet Mood Swing

It seems our Depression Week frown
did nothing but bring readers down
And so, we take heed
and turn, like Candide
to play Pagliacci-ish clown

Walter Brennan Embraces Islam

A Real McCoy talks with a limp
A fish by a buoy will stalk shrimp

The whirlish was derved

So butterflies swerved

With joy just to gawk at a blimp

Paradise Tossed

It's his side of heaven, not hers

And man wants what woman avers

What shes find to taste
the hes think is waste
Though lesbians each side prefers

Surly Knott

Precipistle

I’ve pushed myself up to the edge
My bets I can no longer hedge
The bungee, untied
it’s time to decide
just whether I’ll step from the ledge


Look out below! Limerwrecks' Not-so-great
Depression Week has hit the pavement.

Big Bang Weary

The universe ever expands
Our destiny’s out of our hands
There’s not much to do
‘cept take in the view
till snapping like stretched rubber bands

Among Us a Fungus Humongous

As diplomats dither and bungle
we follow the law of the jungle
It’s war, claw and fang
till someday, a bang
emitting a cloud that is fungal

Cash Poorboy

My fortunes have downwardly spun
I'm hungry but funds I have none
With bills and no fare
my cupboard is bare
I’ve nothing to eat but this gun


Norm Hack

Broke Joke

I'm broke and in more ways than one

I'm busted and also undone

I guess I'm confessing

depression's depressing

and too much of nothing's no fun

Surly Knott