Unwelcome Matt

In this gruesome and moody film shocker
These two must elude a loon stalker
At their plight they're surprised
Though they might have surmised
They were screwed when they viewed his big knocker.




Top: Oscar 'Dutch' Hendrian, Leslie Banks, Noble Johnson, Fay Wray and Joel McCrea in The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack; 1932). Noble Johnson plays Ivan, henchman to Count Zaroff. From the IMDb: African-American movie actor and producer Noble Johnson was born on April 18, 1881, in Marshall, Missouri. In 1916 he founded his own studio to produce what would be called "race films", movies made for the African-American audience, which were ignored by the "mainstream" film industry. The Lincoln Motion Picture Co., which was in existence until 1921, was an all-black company, the first to produce movies portraying African-Americans as real people instead of as racist caricatures.

A Total Count

A marvel at raising an eyebrow,
The scarred one's amazed you don't die now
Though you're chased and pursued
He shows taste, never crude
Chez Zaroff it pays to be highbrow.

David Cairns



Count Zaroff (Leslie Banks) hunts The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1932).

Scaradouche

He keeps on caressing his scar
The creep's an obsessive-bizarre
He seeks human prey
(He's freakish that way),
And steeps heads of guests in a jar.



Leslie Banks and Fay Wray in The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1932). The head is being marinated for mounting as a hunting trophy. During WW1, Banks sustained an actual facial scar, here covered by his beard.

Little Bela to Go See

At terror they're swell and endearing
Their pairing fans welcome with cheering
Though on posters he's pasted,
Here Lugosi is wasted
She's just scared because Bela keeps leering.

Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi get top billing in Black Friday (Arthur Lubin; 1940). However, when Karloff decided to switch leads, Lugosi lost a starring role, and was given a small, thankless part as a gangster. Title by our go-to guy, Donald B. Benson.

Gobble 'Til You Wobble

A meal that is fit for a witch
Like veal, but a little more rich
The main course, McGuffin,
Has brains for the stuffin'
She'll squeal for a bit of baked Hitch.

The Man You Chew Too Much? William Castle, Jean Arless and friend celebrate Thanksgiving.

Who Wants Stuffing?

With a bow he stalks ol' Joel McCrea
For his oh-so-sick goal's human prey
Then this man-hunting Count
Is planning to mount
Both his trophy and doe-eyed Fay Wray.

Donald B. Benson

As Count Zaroff, Leslie Banks hunts Fay Wray and Joel McCrea in The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack; 1932). Happy Thanksgiving from the movie-mad gang at LimerWrecks!

The Moist Dangerous Game

 Zaroff's gunning, with dogs big and feral
You keep running through bogs at your peril
Seems you'll never get dry
But if ever you die
You'll look stunning in soggy apparel.

In The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1932), Fay Wray and Joel McCrea are chased through the lush -- and damp -- jungle sets of King Kong.

Most Dangerous Dame

It's no fun when, as man, you're the prey
You can run but you can't get away
It's not just about you
Mister lust is here, too
And the hunter has plans for Fay Wray.



Fay Wray and Joel McCrea run for their lives in The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack; 1932).

Huntin', Shootin' and Russian'

He bags the most dangerous game
The gag's quite deranged, more's the shame
When threatened by Zaroff
You better get far off
Those who lag make his strange wall of fame.

David Cairns and Surly Hack

Leslie Banks plays the hunting obsessed Count Zaroff in The Most Dangerous Game (Irving Pichel, Ernest B. Schoedsack, 1932).

Meet My Little Friend

Though Miggles may call it a prick,
It's really an optical trick.
Not what you'd expect
It stands up erect
And figures in comedy schtick.

Donald B. Benson



Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel; 1932): Chandu hypnotizes alcoholic Miggles (Herbert Mundin), so that every time he drinks, he sees this mini-version of himself who will take him to task for it. Donald Benson says of the mini-Miggles, "It's pre-code if you view it as a metaphor."

The Snark Crystal

In the crystal Frank Chandler is peering 
At the villain, who's nasty and sneering
But this hero and yogi
Is a zero, no Bogie
So it's him, not the bad guy we're jeering.



Dull Edmund Lowe's heroic Chandler/Chandu pales before the colorful villainy of Bela Lugosi's Roxor. Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel; 1932). That's Nigel De Brulier as Chandu's yogi/teacher.

Coup de Villain

One blast from his terrible ray's
A disaster with cities ablaze
Roxor schemes and feels gay
As he dreams of the day
When he's master of all he surveys.

Béla Lugosi is the evil Roxor, bent on world domination in Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel; 1932). Donald B. Benson is bent on coming up with great titles.

Where the Auction Is

Dear fellows, how much am I bid
For this healthy, voluptuous kid?
As my word is my bond,
This bird's a real blonde
You can tell -- almost nothing is hid.



Betty Lou Regent (June Lang) is up for auction in Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel; 1932). The film stars Edmund Lowe and Béla Lugosi. Title by ready for auction Donald B. Benson.

Of Human Blondage

In the market a blonde's being sold
Such a Bargain! Bring bonds, cash or gold
She makes her debut
Half-naked to view
She should put something on or catch cold.



June Lang (credited as June Vlasek) is offered on the slave trading block in Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies; 1932). They don't call it pre-Code for nothing. Title by mostly human David Cairns.

Roxor Round the Clock

This maniac's very aggressive
His ray has a flair that's impressive
In the land of King Tut
He's a brand A-1 nut
And his raving is fairly excessive.



Egyptian lunatic Roxor (Béla Lugosi) has designs on world domination in Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel; 1932). Title by well rounded Donald B. Benson.

Tyrant and Raving

He's a meanie that hails from the East
Thinks it keen that a death ray's unleashed   
As weaklings will cower
He'll shriek and he'll glower
On the scenery Bela will feast.



Béla Lugosi is the evil Roxor, bent on world domination in Chandu the Magician (William Cameron Menzies and Marcel Varnel; 1932).

Trance-at-a-Glance

What a scare to meet Mr. Lugosi
Piercing stare makes you listless and dozy
With his revenant army
Bela's ever so smarmy
And his glare mesmiristic, hypnosey.

David Cairns



Béla Lugosi  as voodoo master Murder Legendre in White Zombie (Victor Halperin; 1932). Legendre owns a sugarcane mill, operated entirely by zombies.

We'll Have a Blue Tomb

He'll lure and flatter and tease her
With charms and chatter, then ease her
Right into a crypt
To act out his script
Of Cleopatter and Geezer

Donald B. Benson

Boris Karloff and Zita Johann in The Mummy (Karl Freund, 1932).

Wake Like an Egyptian

He slumbered alone in his crypt
Then summoned, he rose (this guy flipped)
For centuries napping
And then his unwrapping
A mummy with toenails unclipped.

Bramwell Fletcher reads the scroll of Thoth, waking up Boris Karloff, The Mummy (Karl Freund, 1932). Title by Donald B. Benson, still awaiting his wake-up call.

Voodoo You Love

His eyes are hypnotic and sneaky
When he tries for erotic he's freaky
You feel squiffy, then freeze
And turn stiff at the knees
When you rise, you're robotic and creaky.

David Cairns



Béla Lugosi  and Madge Bellamy in White Zombie (Victor Halperin; 1932). Limerick Lexicon: squiffy - Slightly drunk; Askew, awry.

Crypt Man, Wrinkled

This cold wraith was decrepit and slow
Moldy swathes swept from dead head to toe
But old Im-Ho-Tep
Now has vim, go and pep
And he's bathed in crepuscular glow.

David Cairns

Boris Karloff is Im-Ho-Tep, aka The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932). Title by cryptic Donald B. Benson.

Assault Cellar

In dank rooms don't look or go poking
If tanks of hot gook there are smoking
Take care and don't stray
Down stairs that-a-way
Or your flank will get cooked as you're soaking.



Fay Wray investigates The Mystery of the Wax Museum (Michael Curtiz; 1933), filmed in glorious two-strip Technicolor, with art direction by Anton Grot. Title by salty David Cairns.

From Rags to Stitches

Seems forever these two persevered
Although never as duo appeared
Their true loves never found,
They both lumbered around
In film heaven their boos are revered.



Boris Karloff was both the definitive Monster and the only memorable Mummy for Universal: The Mummy (Karl Freund; 1932) and Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931). Happy Halloween from the ghouls at LimerWrecks! The fun continues in November with more pre-Code horror!