All Lorre to Thee

Now Lorre's a pal of St. Peter.
For laughs he lets Lorre play greeter.
As new ones come in,
They see Lorre's grin
And Peter has cranked up the heater.

The Lord said "Though you think it droll.
It's wicked, and wasteful of coal.
But still I'm aware
You manage to scare
The devil from ev'ry new soul."

They thought that their quo remained stat.
But He warned, "It's not simple as that.
Lugosi and Karloff
Are having a snarl-off.
To see who's the next one at bat."

Donald B. Benson

Béla Lugosi, Peter Lorre,and Boris Karloff, posing in a production still for You'll Find Out (David Butler; 1940).