Eye, The Jury

Do orbs we call "windows to souls"
conceal limpid pools or just holes?
Do Annie's white spots
and Dondi's black dots
reveal boiled eggs and black coals?

Disaster-U.S.

Disasters, all shapes and all sizes
will visit in various guises
You won't see most coming,
but some, though mind-numbing
are anything but big surprises

Pumpkin Pie in the Sky

Thanksgiving in space has been tried
its majesty can't be denied

The astronauts float
unzip gravy boat

but turkey tastes awful freeze-dried

To read about Thansgiving dinner on the space shuttle

served in freeze-dried in bags, click here

Want to put a taste of space in your Thanksgiving dinner?

Try this NASA-approved recipe: Space Cornbread Dressing.

Hedda Gobblers

Like turkeys, with irony wry
we're stuffed full of stuffing and pie
On top of that toss
some cranberry sauce
then off to the sofa to lie



A tryptophandango we dance
while trying to loosen our pants
Our bellies now bloated
and Pepto B coated
at doggie-bags, pie-eyed, we glance

Walk, Don't Run Over

Most stop at the line, as they should
or else at the walk, which is good
But some cross all lines
and drive through the signs,
pedestrians piled on the hood

Frog Begs

A bullfrog had grown very fond
of a regal and beautiful blonde
But the princess dismissed
his pleas to be kissed
So he's still the prince of the pond

The Great Divider

George Bush called himself "The Decider"
But I'd dub ol' Dubya "Divider"
With tax cuts and war,
between rich and poor
the gap became wider and wider

The Hoarse Whisperer

Now some lose their voice due to flu

unable to bray or to moo
With soreness of throat
they sound like a goat
Neigh-sayers are turned into glue

Irving Brecher, R.I.P.

Irving Brecher and Groucho Marx

Irv Brecher was quick with a quip
his writing both witty and hip
He dotted "Go West"
with bon mot and jest
each gag "At the Circus" a pip



For radio wrote "Life of Riley"
his humor martini mixed dryly
A comic savant
like Oscar Levant
his rep as a writer's held highly

William Bendix reads "The Life Of Riley"

For a link to an article on and interview with comedy
writer Irving Brecher, click here. For his N.Y. Times
obituary, click here. And his L.A. Times obit, here

Obamarama

In Obama so many believe
have high hopes for what he might achieve
He'll have to be nimble
to be more than symbol
with the mess little Georgie will leave

Girthquake

All sense of proportion surpassed
America’s growing fat-assed
It eats it deep-fried
in seats extra-wide
its gluteus maximus vast

The Spirit of Will Eisner

The Spirit fought crime from a crypt

Down alleys and rainy streets slipped
Was beaten by thugs
and then, given hugs
by ladies, alluringly lipped




Will Eisner took comics to heights
surpassing mere supermen fights
Throughout comics’ annals
none’s so mastered panels
One of comics most luminous lights



The Spirit has been revived as a comic book

and will be a movie in 2009. Do yourself a

favor and read the original in The Spirit
Archives, available from DC comics.

To go to Will Eisner.com, click here

Up Against the Wall St.

On Wall Street they're having a riot
so Main Street must go on a diet
We'll have to digest
debt bankers divest
They broke it and we have to buy it

Apartment 3-D

The era that stretched the film screen
plumbed depth that had never been seen
Both monster attacks
and starlets with racks
stood out from the flat mise-en-scene



Dimension that normal film lacks
soon dripped from 3-D House of Wax
But first Bwana Devil
raised crap to new level
as lions ate tribesman as snacks



If you have a pair of red and blue 3-D glasses,
put 'em on and view the poster below in 3-D!



I've loved 3-D ever since I saw Richard Corben's
Deep 3-D Comix in 1970. My greatest 3-D film
experience was a showing of Dial M for Murder
and Spooks in the original Polarized process.
These two films represent the polars of 3-D:
Hitchcock's restrained and formally brilliant use
of 3-D might be art, while The Three Stooges
threw everything at--and through--the screen,
in the greatest piece of 3-D entertainment.

Recommended reading on 3-D:
Amazing 3-D, by Morgan and Symmes.

To read an informative article on St. John,
which published the first 3-D comics by
artists Joe Kubert and Norman Maurer,
click here. Ray Zone's 3-D Zone site is here

Rush Job

Fools rush wherein angels won't tread

and that's why some fools wind up dead

When fools act so badly

don't suffer them gladly

unless they act madly in bed

Smell is Other People

The smell of success isn't sweet

unless it's the rot 'neath its feet
It's nasty and bitter
and peopled with litter

A Molotov cocktail hour treat

For reviews of Alexander Mackendrick's brilliant 1957
film, Sweet Smell Of Success, click here and here.

U-Haul, I-Pass

A pack rat who hailed from Nantucket

has carried his junk in a bucket

But got so much stuff

pail wasn't enough

so rented a U-haul to truck it

Welcome Back Ache

When one of them started to ache
the thing-with-two-backs took a break

But soon it subsided
and once more two-sided

the thing and the bedframe did shake

Friend or Faux

A friend who's in need needs a bill
This friend you might put in your will
But never to friends

be loaner who lends

or of friends you will soon have your fill

The Eyes Have It

Two eyes in the dark 'neath the stair
Unblinking and yellow, they stare
A sibilant hiss...
some thing is amiss
I don't think that's our rover down there

The Doctor Is In...sensitive

I've had a good look at your scans, sir
I think in your brain you have cancer
That's only a guess
Your lobes are a mess
When you get this email, please answer

Hush Hour

Yes, "Silence is golden" is true

except for a well-spoken few

Most thoughts in our head
are best left unsaid
So edit your verbal ado

Ceme-tarry

Each day past the graveyard I sped
past headstones and tombs of the dead
But now I delay
Have I lost my way?
Or have I instead lost my head?

Too Closed For Comfort

Norm Knott's been down Mexico way
And Throwback's too busy to play
Just Surly is left
But H is bereft
Of clever and fun things to say.

Yma Sumac, R.I.P.

Looks sultry and vavoom physique
made Sumac seem tres exotique
Her "five" octave range
and taste for the strange
made Yma's lounge music unique

Studs Terkel, R. I. P.

In Chi-town's political snake pit
he meant what he said, didn't fake it
This regular guy
looked life in the eye
and said, "Take it easy, but take it."



Asking questions on work, war and race
his voice, full of grit, had a grace
A ham on dark rye
with a wink in his eye
Chicago was Studs Terkel's place

Phantom Poll Booth

Election day's here at long last
It's time for all votes to be cast
At last minute rallies
the pols compare tallies
Will democrats margin be vast?

You're still undecided? Feel lost?
On rhetoric winds are you tossed?
Don't sit there, a gaper
just read a damn paper
or by status quo you'll be bossed

Hollywood and Vain

A corpse in the pool tells this tale
of over-the-hill movie gal
A silent film star
who's slightly ajar
and ready for close-ups--or jail

Sunset Boulevard is director Billy Wilder's
classic look at the morbid end of Hollywood fame.
For essays on this great film, click here and here

15 Minute Men

These days any ham can go far
when "real" TV makes them a star
These jerks get their face
all over the place
I wish they were under my car

Candylanding

Last night I filled up a large bag
with Snickers and Mars Bars the swag
Though I knew I should wait
I ate and I ate
Just thinking of sweets now I gag