Jabberwhacked

Young Alice fell into a hole

To find a white rabbit, her goal

Adventures she had

Too much by a tad

The lass came back pregnant, I'm told

Running On Emptiness

It seems that for business we're closed

No limericks here are composed

The tires all squeal

No hands on the wheel

The writers apparently dosed

Royal To A Tee

I once met a painter from Spain
Whose paintings were plainly quite plain
He said "Here's the thing,
Art must please the King,
In Spain it's for mainly the reign!"

Dead Tired

I'd sleep, but with nightmares I'm filled
of graveyards where no one stays killed
While zombies ingest
how can a guy rest?
His brains and his dreams are both spilled

Lemon Wedged

Contracting a citrus disease
the lemon was filled with unease
To fruit gods appealed,
and then, having kneeled
it bowed to the big yellow squeeze

No Cheers For Years

Tomoji Tanabe at 113

Becoming the world's oldest man

requires a stringent health plan

If stretching one's years

means giving up beers

I'd rather just die..hey, Bud Man!

Closing Downer

No limericks scheduled today

We've nothing that's witty to say

Our minds are a blank

We've emptied the tank

We're closed and we're staying that way

That Rock In Chair Got Me

There's no place like home when deranged
Say, pal, can you part with some change?
I'm loose as a goose
I drank blue spruce juice
And recently came down with mange

A Walk in the Pork

It's news when it's man biting dog
What happens when guys go whole hog?
It takes a large fork
to lift all that pork
Does ham come with thick pea soup fog?

Fish Fried

A pair of identical twins
were born with identical fins
These look-alike freaks
would back-stroke in creeks
Till hooked, cleaned and packaged in tins

Milled Stream

High beams I do deem are extreme
Ice cream gets me steamed and I scream
How low can I go?
I know I don't know
It seems like my dreams reign supreme

Teeming Pauly Shores

Some scream for a goal by their team
or scream during solos by Cream
But I save my yelling
for when my head's swelling
and scream when I'm blowing off steam

Fail-acy

When brokers and banks start to wail
the feds grab our money and bail
When Wall Streeters feed
their ravenous greed
why can't we just throw them in jail?

Candidate Not Candid

While tortured in prison, McCain
found love for U.S. kept him sane
Then why didn't he
conventionally
condemn such abuse, clear and plain?

Though his acceptance speech defined him through his torture

as a P.O.W. in the Hanoi Hilton, it wasn't Republican nominee

John McCain, but instead was swiftboated John Kerry at the

Democratic convention who condemned the U.S. use of torture

and called for the closing of the U.S. prison at Guantanamo

A Black Hole In One

When atoms are smashed and colliding
big answers we hope they're providing
But some are alarmed
and think we'll be harmed
when into a black hole we're sliding

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/09/080903112026.htm

The Other White Lie

A rose is a rose is a rose
and smells just as sweet, I suppose
But lipstick on pigs
will flip campaign wigs

Spin stinks like the truth decomposed

Mis-En-Seen

Cracked whiffle ball bat in the alley

A soup spoon with gravy in galley

The daybreak comes soon

Like howling baboon

The bed's filled with glass shards, so shall we?

Prisoner of Love

Your lemon meringue pie is dreamy
Your personal life, though, is seamy
How can it be thus?
The sweet mixed with pus
Desire runs deeply, don't flee me

Rebel Without a Pause

Lim Law says three lines all must rhyme
And stop they all must on a dime
This couplet must be
This length exactly
It's way too confining so I'm...

Insane Brains?

Is genius about a large brain?
Or might the bright just be insane?
Are bipolar guys
especially wise?
Just asking, my head hurts from strain

Just what connection exists between genius and madness?

basketballed

I ache in my knees and they creak
My back's on a long losing streak
I'm more or less lame
so must love the game
to run down the court every week

Fairy Dusted

Alack and alas and forsooth
There isn't a Fairy of Tooth
Nor Claus, Easter Bunny
don't laugh--isn't funny--
for closed are the wide eyes of youth

Paneling

In comics, time moves box by box
These 'panels' tick moments, like clocks
As movies have cuts,
between 'gutter' ruts,
the comics tell stories in blocks

Bar-B-Que & A

The suspect was grilled by a cop
for days under lights, and non-stop
"You'll talk or you'll fry!"
said cop, not a lie
They served him with hot sauce on top

Freak Show Biz

Be it pinhead or midget or geek
never toy with the heart of a freak



If you hurt her or him
they will tear limb from limb
and in sideshows you'll squawk when you speak



Freaks (Tod Browning, 1932)

Dead Head of State

George Bush, bible stupid and smug
sweeps evidence under the rug
Ignoring the facts
as "decider", he acts
Our first sanctimonius thug

What Goes Around...

Let's hoist up our glasses to toast
Chris Neseman, a gracious co-host
His comics podcast
has managed to last
a bloated load longer than most


The Around Comics podcast on
comic books and related pop culture
has reached it's 200th episode.
Congrats to Chris, Tom, Sal and the
rest of the gang at AroundComics.com

Rock and Rolled

Ol' Sisyphus pushed to the peak
a boulder that made his back creak
When rock rolled back down
ol' Sis bore a frown
and let out a curse, but in Greek

Johnny Griffin, R.I.P.

Though Griffin, in France, had chateau
like wind from Chicago he'd blow
Though short, he would tower
with solos of power
On sax Little Giant would grow

Johnny Griffin was the Little Giant of tenor sax

Dream Scream

Some guys fantasize about nailin'

the GOP veep, Sarah Palin

When boffin' in dreams

you'll often hear screams

Pro-lifers must hear babies wailin'

Learn more about the born again,

gun-toting governor here

Base Sarah, Sarah

A pit bull in lipstick and heels
Her lies and distortions cause squeals
From middle-aged whites
Who spend sleepless nights
Reciting their partisan spiels

Rocks In My Bed, Blues In My Head

Late Saturday nights I don't snooze
but lay wide awake with the blues
In choice between sleep
and blues, down are deep
it's Blues Before Sunrise I choose


Every Saturday night catch Steve Cushing's Blues Before Sunrise, the best show on radio. I listen to it on WDCB, from Glen Ellen, Illinois, at 90.9 FM. Find out where you can hear it here, or here.

Ivan the Terrible

In comics Brunetti's revealed

the id that most others concealed

Both honest and vile

call it "auto-bile"

his Schizo stands out in the field

4 out of 5 doctors recommend

Ivan Brunnetti's Schizo,

available from Fantagraphic Books