Daily Grind

You've no doubt noticed that we've changed our name. This was done to reflect that we are no longer a "Limerick Of The Day", but more of a limerick of the mood. We'll still post when the limerick strikes, so keep checking back for the occasional rhyme crime. Better yet, subscribe!

suryh

Va-Va-Voomski

For cheesecake I'd choose an old era

When glamour adorned gals named Vera

They came from New Yawk

With nasally squawk

But dolled up quite nice in a "mirrah"

Ava Gardner "relaxes" at the beach

Not-So-Sweet Basil

His Lena, a garish Hyena
(nightmarish in comics arena)
did bear such a pan
she'd scare any man--
From metal could strip the patina

To go to the Basil Wolverton website, click here

Hideous Inky

A Wolverton, first name of Basil
Took pen to hand, found he was facile
At drawing weird faces
Which turned up in places
Like LIFE, MAD & PLOP, without hassle.

Not Far From the Madden Crowd

Brett Favre is revered in Green Bay
Unbeatable, so they all say
Last year he retired
Now wants to be hired
The question is "Where will he play?"

( a tip o' the helmet to Ezmeralda )

Moveable Feats

Baloney, salami, chopped liver
I wash them all down with Green River
I burp for a while
Producing a smile
That sends every chin all aquiver

Comicondescending

I'm off to the comic book con
with fan-geeks from hither and yon
But I should be kind
and keep it in mind
which side that my bread's buttered on

No News Is Bad News

The news is a slick TV show
that tells us what we want to know.
Some try to deny this
cite "liberal bias",
but networks support staus quo.

Now, some might dismiss this as raving,
but news shows are always flag-waving.
With troop supporting
instead of reporting,
the road to Iraq they were paving.

Unintelligent Design

Mosquito bites, they sure are a bitch, man
Providing that you're not an itch fan
A blunder this large
Means someone in charge
Missed seeing some jackanapes switch plans

Quiet Rite

The science of silence, astutley,
Is studied, of course, on the QT
No one breathes a word
No sound can be heard
And that, my dear friend, is its beauty

Nothing to Fear But Fear Agent Himself

Defending the Earth from attack
Heath Huston paid aliens back
He blew up their world--
The wrong one (he hurled)--
Now drinks like there's no coming back



While boozing it through IV drip
he zips across space on his ship
What's that? Smells of death...
oh wait, that's his breath.
As hero, Fear Agent's a pip!

Heath Huston is the FEAR AGENT,
created by Rick Remender and Tony Moore
and published by Dark Horse Comics.

Stop Stairing At Me!

For tension, suspense or a chase,
the movies use stairs by the case.
Shoot down from the top
for vertiginous drop,
look up for a lover's embrace.



Just look at how Hitch takes the stairs,
His setting for so many scares.
His characters climb
one step at a time,
their victims to catch unawares.

Bend Over and Coffee

Each morning I wake, like a fiend
Not human until I've been beaned
Just smelling the roast
With eggs I am toast
From coffee I cannot be weaned

Caffeine Without A Face

To slog in society's rut
I must have caffeine in my gut
Those brown roasted beans
Are the only means
To kick into gear my fat butt

I Take This Corpse

I Married A Dead Man is sweet

A husband and wife never meet

He's stiff when they "wed"

That's some wedding bed

Another good Woolrich noir treat

With Stanwyck in film of the book

No Man of Her Own's worth a look

But filmmakers missed

with weak final twist

It cuts the best Woolrich plot hook

No Man of Her Own (Mitchell Leisen, 1950) For a brief
comparison of the book and film versions, go here.

Dead Drunk

The angel in black picks a dame
When she's strangled a sap's held to blame
A songwriting drunk
Helps his wife clear the hunk
Getting tangled in cat and mouse game


Dan Duryea and June Vincent in Black Angel (Roy William Neil, 1946).

The Wm. Irish In Us

In Woolrich a guy always wakes
The nightmares we're giving him shakes
He's trapped in a maze
Did he kill in a daze?
There's danger in each step he takes

A man with amnesia forgets
A life he once lived, now regrets
But which life is real?
His past may reveal
The Black Curtain's noir as it gets

William K. Irish is a pseudonym of crime suspense writer Cornell Woolrich.

Brain Food

A cannibal watching his waist
Sipped smoothies from heads ground to paste
Used bubble tea straw
But stuck in it, saw
An eyeball he missed in his haste

Shock and Awe Shucks

George Bush, on a mission from God
Gave war in Iraq White House nod
His “Don” of Defense
Pushed plan that was dense
With shock and awe shot his whole wad



They thought they’d be welcomed as friends
But factions there won’t make amends
When Bremmer, the fool
De-Ba'athed the job pool
Slim chance for a “victory” ends

Now McCain says he’ll “win” in Iraq
He’s hoping we’ll fall for that crock
No more misadventures
From guys needing dentures
We can’t take much more awe and shock

The Damned, Slammed

On viewers The Damned has inflicted
Depravities grandly depicted.
Is decadence shown
The filmmaker’s own?
Perhaps L.Visconti’s conflicted.

Bad Doggie-Style

A man once bent down on his knees
and begged his "good dog" pretty-please
Not knowing the hound
was playing around
The itch he can't scratch is from fleas

Bush Whacked

To justice and law he's averse
Renditions and torture and worse
He's mired us in
A war sold on spin
His legacy now is a curse

He claims that he's been "born again"
I'd say he's that he's reached age of ten
A boy, not so bright
Who's started a fight
The next pres will have to say "when"

R.I.P. Cyd Charisse

Dance star of It's Always Fair Weather
Had legs just as long as forever
She sizzled so hot
She'd burn up the spot
And knock the boys down with a feather



Her Girl Hunt Ballet in Band Wagon
Gets every wolf's tail to start waggin'
You'll never forget
Her film noir brunette
There's Cyd and all else is foot draggin'




The clips above are from Band Wagon with Fred Astaire, and Singin' In The Rain with Gene Kelly. And here's a link to Charisse turning up the heat in and as Nicholas Ray's Party Girl.

Unnatural Nurture

Ralph Wiggum is some kind of dense
As dumb as a post on a fence
As adult he’ll do time
For some heinous crime
Bad parenting is his defense

The Simpsons © & TM Twentieth Century
Fox Film Corporation. All rights reserved.

Tit For Tat

I once wanted breasts like Madonna
To have and to hold when I'd wanna
Now, this may sound cold
But now that Mad's old
I want to have breasts like Rihanna

Downward Learning Curve

The U.S. has taken a hit
From president dumber than spit
What’s hard to explain
Is four-year refrain
Did all our intelligence quit?

Myrna Loy

The "perfect" screen wife, Myrna Loy

The dream of both Thin Man and boy 

She's charming and witty 

and...perfectly pretty 

Her deft repartee is a joy.

 

Before she was typed as a wife
she lived an exotic screen life
As Asian and vamp
she flirted with camp
Her gypsy caused marital strife. 

As Nora, with Asta and Nick 

her wit was both wicked and quick 

Her banter as sly 

as Martini’s were dry 

The tub-full they drank did the trick.

 

Herds of a Feather

A hippo bore plumage all marred
By blackest of goo, thick as lard
Dyslexical crew
Had barred him from zoo
But first had him feathered and tarred

Explosive Allegations

Defending mad-bomber named Drury
A lawyer near blew up the jury
In closing remarks
He struck a few sparks
There’s evidence far as Missouri