Dance of the Dud

In this lock, stock and sordid soiree
There's a doctor in moral decay
By a goon he is gripped
Does he swoon, is he dipped?
It's a schlocky, abnormal ballet.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) holds Doctor Niemann (Boris Karloff) in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Title by David Cairns, a dude in fancy duds.

Niemann is an Island

Say hello to this cunning old cuss
As his foe, loaded guns are a plus
As assistant or friend
Your existence will end
'Cause he'll throw your hunch under a bus.

Daniel the hunchback (J Carrol Naish) is used by Dr. Gustav Niemann (Boris Karloff) in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Title by David Cairns, somewhere in the Scottish Highlands.

Flophouse of Frankenstein

When they threw out this mess Universal
Surely knew it was mere dress rehearsal
Frankensteinia by numbers
Learns its lines, or just lumbers
While the crew waits, depressed, for dispersal.

David Cairns

Boris Karloff and J Carrol Naish on the set of House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Huddled Mass Entertainment

Of film monsters this thing ain't bereft
Such a roster spine-tingles from heft!
But each creature arrayed
Is dead meat by the fade
They're all lost, not a single one left.

Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr and John Carradine star as a mad doctor, the Wolf Man and Dracula In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). The Monster is played by newcomer Glenn Strange.

Twilight Triple-Header

This feature's like horror on crack
There's creatures galore, back-to-back
Many tales will be told
Where all fail to grow old
And they each chew decor for a snack.

In House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944), Dracula (John Carradine), the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr) and Frankenstein's Monster (Glenn Strange) are all revived by a mad doctor (Boris Karloff) and his hunchback assistant (J. Carrol Naish). David Cairns is our head title writer.

A Bog's Life

On dissections and fluids transfused,
I reflect as, all gooey, I'm oozed
A life spent on atrocity
And augmenting monstrosity:
Intellectual poodles I fused.

Dr. Gustav Niemann (Boris Karloff ) has a final moment of soggy contemplation at the end of House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Thanks to D Cairns for the assist.

Swamp and Circumstance

I am pompous and cranky as heck
My compadre's a rancorous wreck
My transplanting 'tween species
Just unleashes deep feces
In a swamp I have sank to my neck.

David Cairns and Surly Hack

The Monster (Glenn Strange) drags Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff ) down into quicksand in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Slow Thinker, Quick Sand

He's a blockhead, a slow-witted clown
With the doctor in tow he goes down
Such a bumbling creep,
Either dumb or asleep,
The big ox doesn't know that he'll drown.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) carries Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) into the swamp and to his doom in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944). Title by fast and loose David Cairns.

Monsters Sink

Into quicksand I'm rapidly sinking
Just a thickheaded sap, I'm unthinking
Now a dunce, and sub-par,
I was once quite the star
But my flicks turned so crappy they're stinking.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) carries Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) into the swamp and to his doom: House of Frankenstein (1944). How the once tragic creature has fallen since played by Karloff himself!

Carry Off Screaming

Karloff's blinking, by hack-work dismayed
Gnarled and crinkled, this quack is unmade
Since his muffed try to charm it
He's been stuffed in its armpit
The star sinks with the slack-jaw he'd played.

David Cairns

The Monster (Glenn Strange) drags off Dr. Gustav Niemann (Boris Karloff) in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Finish Line Readings

All these obvious endings don't vary
There's the mob that's dependably scary
And their torchlight illumines
Some unfortunate humans
And the cobbled parts-blend they'd re-bury.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) carries Dr. Niemann (Boris Karloff) away in the conclusion to House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Mob Rule of Thumb

To the square it unsteadily stumbles
Townsfolk stare, mill about, start to grumble
In a mob they all gather
Hearts a-throb, in a lather
Torches flare...let's get ready to rumble!

The Monster (Glenn Strange) lugs Dr Neimann (Boris Karloff) to the swamp in House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).

Firehouse of Frankenstein

Ev'ry madman for glory will vie
And with gadgets galore have a try
But electrical arcs
Angry wrecking crews spark,
And the baddie, of course, has to die.

The Monster carries Dr. Niemann away from the mob: Glenn Strange and Boris Karloff in  House of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton, 1944).