Splat From a Hot Tin Roof

From the ledge hapless villagers fall
From their heads the blood spills where they sprawl
But the guy never harms
The small fry in his arms
Why drop dead for a silly old ball?



The Monster (Lon Chaney Jr) climbs a roof to retrieve a ball for little Cloestine (Janet Ann Gallow): The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942). David Cairns dropped off the title.

Renfield Fly Rule

He's a nebbish with mad, glowing eyes
Spinning webs so to nab a few flies
While on insects he's snacking
In the bin he is cracking
This most febrile and addled of Fryes.

Dwight Frye as Renfield goes nuts in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Title by fly-by-night David Cairns. We're crazy for Dwight Frye-Days.

From the Grave to the Cradle

Ygor grabs him, explains to him twice
That "The nabbing of wains isn't nice."
German moms and pops worry,
And form mobs in a hurry,
Plus "My crabby old brain should suffice."

The Monster wants to put a little girl's brain in his noggin: Béla Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr and Janet Ann Gallow in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942). Thanks to David Cairns for digging up the title. Limerick Lexicon: wain is Scottish for child. 

Invasion of the Toddler Snatcher

With no bride, this poor slob can't call booty
Yet inside he still throbs eyeing beauty
Why he'd kidnap this wain
Only id could explain
When he tried, one more mob did its duty.

Lon Chaney Jr reaches for child actor Janet Ann Gallow in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942). Thanks to toddling David Cairns for today's title, and for adding a new word to our Limerick Lexicon: wain is Scottish for child or baby.

Smash Mob

One more mob always mounts an attack
But The Monster just bounces right back
Although ever so dumb
He will never succumb
For survival some clowns have a knack.

The villagers react when The Monster (Lon Chaney Jr) picks up little Cloestine (Janet Ann Gallow) in The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942).

Same Old Throng

As he lumbered along in the dark
He was numbed by a strong, blazing spark
But by lightning bolt charged
His great might was enlarged
Now he rumbles with throngs for a lark.

David Cairns

It's the Monster (Lon Chaney Jr) vs the mob in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Socket to Me

Her demise at the stake is appalling
As she dies, for revenge she is calling
Then her rest's interrupted
When by pests she's corrupted...
In her eyes creepy spiders are crawling.



Barbara Steele's corpse is bug feed in Black Sunday (Mario Bava; 1960).

Yawn Patrol

This is schlock in familiar terrain
There's a doc who has skill with the brain
It is fate that he'll face
His dead pater's disgrace
But this crock makes the chilling mundane.

Ralph Bellamy, Cedric Hardwicke and Lionel Atwill watch Lon Chaney Jr stretch after his power nap: The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Frye Baby

He giggles and brays and he cackles
In the brig they should chain him in shackles
With a little chagrin
And a spittle-flecked chin
His sniggering raises your hackles.

David Cairns

No one made with the madness like Dwight Frye, here as Renfield in Dracula (1931). We all go a little crazy on Dwight Frye-Days.

Dad on Arrival

He's warned by his dead father's shade
Not to horn in on what his dad made
He may find, says pa's ghost
That he'll wind up as toast
When reborn is that mad thing, decayed.

David Cairns

Ludwig Frankenstein is visited by an apparition or optical effect of his father: Cedric Hardwicke in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Brainwave Goodbye

Ygor's love is abnormal obsession
A rapport that transforms to possession
In the monster his brain
Gets ensconced (it's insane!)
An abhorrent new form of succession.

David Cairns

Ludwig Frankenstein, Ygor, and Doctor Bohmer argue about whose brain goes into the Monster: Cedric Hardwicke, Béla Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr., and Lionel Atwill in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

Stalk This Way

Mighty white, like he fell in some chalk
Quite a sight in the dell on a walk
Chaney's Monster's been stained
And soon Lon is de-brained
It ain't right that like Bela he'll talk.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

Ygor has designs on the big guy's body: Lon Chaney Jr and Béla Lugosi in The Ghost of Frankenstein (Erle C. Kenton; 1942).

April Sours

The Smoking Pun

Foolish bloke and his money soon parted
He was broke, and what's more, brokenhearted
And thus lacking the means
Started snacking on beans
Acrid smoke from his his crack just departed.

Surly Hack

Bet you thought we were going to use "farted"...Oops! We just did. My apologies for abusing this lovely frame from Josef von Sternberg’s sweet smelling Underworld (1927).



Poe-lar Exploration

There was a young man of Nantucket
Whose ship was a leaky old bucket
He sailed to the Pole
And fell straight down a hole
The bottom was deep and he struck it.

David Cairns

A Nantucket limerick that is really about...sailing. April Fools! This 1884 etching by Robert Swain Gifford is called Wreck of the Grampus, and is an illustration from the novel 'The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket' by Edgar Allan Poe.