Dr. Strange Love of Martha Ivers

When Martha is hitting on fellas
she's strange and a bit overzealous
To have and to hold them
she'll manage and mold them
like a bitch in the telenovelas

Kirk Douglas, Van Heflin and Barbara Stanwyck in The Strange love of Martha Ivers (Lewis Milestone, 1946). Image source: Silver Screen Oasis. A telenovela is a television serial novel popular in Latin America.

Imbalance of Power

This triangle's angled all wrong
'cause none of its sides get along
She bears her mate's name
but cares for old flame
They'll find who is weak and who's strong

Van Heflin, Barbara Stanwyck and Kirk Douglas in The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (Lewis Milestone, 1946).

Arranged Love of Martha Ivers

It's early, but still you can tell
this couple will never end well
As bride and a groom,
their love-nest a tomb,
they're doomed to a marriage from hell

Child actors Mickey Kuhn and Janis Wilson grow up to be unhappy couple Kirk Douglas and Barbara Stanwyck in The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (Lewis Milestone, 1946). Read an earlier limerick on this uncivil union here.

Pick-Up's Line

A stoolie, she still had her pride
As proved by her words when she died
To wit, Thelma Ritter
was never a quitter
Her fitting obit was "I tried."

David Cairns
Character actor Thelma Ritter is unforgettable as Moe in Pick-Up on South Street (Sam Fuller, 1953). Ritter is seen here with Richard Kiley. David first submitted an earlier draft of this rhyme about Moe's last words as a comment on Pigeon Toe-Tagged.

Lam on Wry

Doc Kimble was one of the damned
The door to his future had slammed
Then fate intervened:
his train car careened
And freed, as a fugitive, lammed

David Janssen was The Fugitive on television. Image source: DVD Talk. Stay tuned for weekly installments of Fugitive Fridays.

Roadhouse Broken

In love, he's just playing at nice
He gets what he wants in a vice
Don't cross crazy Jefty--
the cost can be hefty--
'cause ev'rything comes with a price

The calm before the storm: Richard Widmark (as Jefty) thinks he can buy Ida Lupino in Roadhouse (Jean Negulesco, 1948).

Meyer for Hire

A fissure instead of a maw
Like a maniac scissored his jaw
The cartilage nub
Of his nose is the hub
Of a face that's beyond any law.

David Cairns

As a character actor, meaty Emile Meyer often played a cop. He's very scary as corrupt officer Harry Kelo in Sweet Smell of Success (Alexander Mackendrick, 1957). Image source: Flickr (top); If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger (above).

Nightcrawling

Sid Falco's a weasely creep
who seems not to need any sleep
He sneaks from his hole
each eve with one goal:
to crawl to the top of the heap



Fawning press agent Sidney Falco (Tony Curtis) will do anything to curry favor with gossip columnist J.J. Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster): Sweet Smell of Success (Alexander Mackendrick, 1957). Image source: DVD Beaver (top); filmforno.com. A scene from Sweet Smell is Totally Looped for imrov comedy on Youtube, here.

Sweet Smell of Excess

A life to this villain is cheap
The power to kill's in his keep
His cynical "eyes"
spread rumor and lies
His victims can read it and weep

The "Eyes on Broadway" gossip column is used as a guillotine by J.J. Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster) in Sweet Smell of Success (Alexander Mackendrick, 1957). Image source: Dr. Macro's Movie Scans

Column A-Hole

His writing is vicious and vile
Each "item" is viscous with bile
This columnist leech,
if not for free speech,
for libel would likely stand trial

Burt Lancaster is venomous columnist J.J. Hunsecker in the searing Sweet Smell of Success (Alexander Mackendrick, 1957). Image source: DVD Beaver.

The Hunsecker Proxy

He authors a popular column
pretending his purpose is solemn.
But J. J. Hunsecker's
a relationship wrecker,
with lips dripping poison like Gollum.

David Cairns

Powerful gossip columnist J. J. Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster) waxes vitriolic in Sweet Smell of Success (Alexander Mackendrick, 1957). J.J. pulls the strings to break up his sister (Susan Harrison, below) and a jazz guitarist. Image source: If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger (top); High Def Disc News (above); DVD Beaver (below).

Flee Circus

The fugitive flees from the law
to find one-armed man that he saw
This innocent guy
was sentenced to die
when fate moved its huge hairy paw



The Fugitive ran from 1963-67. Photo: David Janssen as Dr. Richard Kimble, in the custody of Barry Morse as Lieutenant Philip Gerard, on their way to the death house. It's Fugitive Fridays at Limerwrecks.

La Cage Awful

The saying is, "Hope springs eternal"
But straight from what chasm infernal
Could such a Hope spring
Oppressing 'Sing-Sing'
This matron so far from maternal?

David Cairns



Monstrous prison matron Hope Emerson lords it over newbie Eleanor Parker in Caged (John Cromwell, 1950). Image source: A Tribute to Hope Emerson.