Tall Doll

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau

Witness 50-foot Allison Hayes!
Through an HO-scale landscape she sways!
Her two-timing spouse
She'll squish, like a mouse
And his cheap juke-joint hangout she'll raze!

About Face

Far East Bureau

B. Karloff once ate a cashew

Allergic'lly sneezed an "Ah-choo!"

And upon his face
There was not a trace

Of that which made him Fu Manchu

Writer's Blockhead

It's late in the day, want to dose
But still have a line to compose
My head's full enough
But all of it's fluff
Thank God I am not writing prose

Injury To The CGI

By firelight we drew on cave walls
Told stories in primitive scrawls
To Renaissance, high
Art Mirrored the eye
Now pixels illuminate brawls

Sword Cleaver

by Backthrow
Tokyo Bureau



The blind swordsman they call 'Zatoichi'
Is most humble, wise, wry… never preachy
With a blade swung so fast
His opponents don't last
All his twenty-six films are quite peachy

Respect Your Elder

by Backthrow


(click on image for a larger view)

Rest In Peace, my hero, Will Elder
The best art/hilarity melder
He could ape any style
with such ease, all the while
fusing background gags in, like a welder


(click on image for a larger view)

The Elder Jokesman

Eyeball Kicks: The Bucket

Will Elder, the master of "Chicken Fat"
He'd always make room so he'd stick in that
Li'l treat for the eye
With humor so wry
His gags are like scabs that he's pickin' at!

The Sons Of Willie Elder

by surlyh

A mad artist extraordinaire

Will Elder hid gags everywhere

In each nook and cranny

Of Li'l Annie Fannie

Shampooed chicken fat in her hair

His riotous sight-gag mish-mosh

Is feast for the eyes on to nosh

Graffiti he'd scrawl

Like kid on a wall

A funny Hieronymous Bosch

Behind him his followers trail

Though none ever match in detail

His impact profound

Upon underground

His works to them are Holy Grail

Jacques Itch

By surlyh

Hollywood Bureau

It isn't just acting or plot
Suspense is a slow tracking shot
What shadows conceal

the mind will reveal

Fear isn’t what's seen, but what’s not

I walked With A Zombie is great
Jayne Eyre with a trance, undead gait

When stabbed, not a peep

for she's not asleep

Tis Voodoo pulls her to her fate

Cat People are not what they seem
Cute kittens are quite off the beam

And if you arouse one

you won't hear meows, son

as claws cut you up you'll hear scream

The clicks of a girl’s castanet

cut short like a crushed cigarette

In silence of night

a train sound's a fright

The Leopard Man’s good as it gets

A skeptic whose death is foretold
is cursed: in three days he’ll be cold
Old runes from Stonehenge
will have their revenge
as Night Of The Demon unfolds

Dark glimpses through half open door

Tourneur will leave you wanting more

A film universe

hypnotic and terse

A mystery lurks at the core

A Speck Of Serial

This craze for film serial killers
Those psycho yet genius blood-spillers
Has made me uneasy
I'd even say queasy

My taste runs to Jacques Tourneur thrillers

Last Call

With end of the world drawing near
The booze I would choose would be beer
Whenever I roam
From drink without foam
I miss the ol' suds I hold dear

Robert Rauschenberg R.I.P.

No house special, he -- try a la carte
Found objects and images each played their part
Was he Neo-Dada?
Neo-yadda-yadda!
He worked in the gap between life and art

Uno Mas For The Road

A girl that I knew quelled her sorrow

By drinking like there's no tomorrow

Her name was Maria

Her drink was tequila

Her tears tasted like El Tesoro