A Boozing Proposition

by Backthrow
Skid Row Bureau

A lugubrious soul from Poughkeepsie
Had far too much drink, and was tipsy
His full-alcohol drown
Turned his frown upside-down
The next day he woke, wed to a gypsy

Surreal Estate

by Backthrow
Catalonian Bureau




Happy Birthday to Salvador Dali!
The surreal was his aid and his ally
Plains with stark, propped-up walls
Decked with ants and eyeballs
As some watches melt down through the valley

Office Depoo

When brown-nosers anger their bosses
With ass-kissing they cut their losses
But when french-kissers bow
Back of those dropping 'trou'
We hope he who bends also flosses

Disparate Measures

James Barrie dreamed up Peter Pan,
Van Gogh once did room with Gaugin,
Pete Sellers made S'mores
With Diana Dors
And Clapton's nickname is "Slow Hand"

Trust the Ida's Touch

by Backthrow
Hollywood Bureau





Raise a glass to Ms. Ida Lupino
She had class, if you know what I mean, oh
As actress, director
A statue, erect her
Respect her, while drinking your vino









'Second-string Bette Davis'? --They lied!
Ida's screen presence can't be denied
Whether ingenue, moll
Or 'film noir' femme fatale
She excelled at whatever she tried






In "Deep Valley", "Road House", "The Hard Way"
"The Sea Wolf", Ida knew how to play
Parts that were kind and cruel
--She was nobody's fool--
Though Rob Ryan once ruined her day...


(Psycho handyman Robert Ryan traps Ida at home in 'Beware My Lovely' (1952))

Boob Job

Defying Gravity Dept.

Inventors, whom colleagues esteemed,
Of bosoms aloft had long dreamed
So did engineer
The bra, or brassiere
And dames had their 'headlights' high-beamed

Rectum For A Heavyweight

Young Tony Stark was a charmer
He built him a suit made of armor
His diet was high in
Bronze, cobalt and iron
His B.M.'s repelled a pig farmer

I, Caramba

It's Cinco de Mayo, amigo
From Fresno to Butte to Oswego
Big celebration
All cross the nation
But south of the border--s'no beego

Porn Koan

Though Miss Primrose took it in the breech
Porn-biz stardom she never could reach
Now in her crevasse
Comes her high school class
“Those who can’t do” she says, “can still teach.”

Babbling About Brooks

In silent screen star Louise Brooks
Was beauty that went beyond looks
In her eyes can be seen
Such life on the screen
About her they’re still writing books

The Velvet Gentleman

The French artiste Erik Satie
Did place his cup indiscreetly
On velvet love seat
That one did entreat,
"Set tea, did Satie, on settee?"

I Dislike Mike

All Michael Bay movies are toys
Mere wind-up machines that make noise
So loud and so dumb
One's mind becomes numb
They're products for ADD boys.

Full Court Stress

Poor guys, middle-aged, playing hoops
Who run back and forth loop-de-loops
They gasp, pant and wheeze
And drop to their knees
As get-up-and-go up and droops