Working the Dwight Shift

Not too bright, the defective Fritz lurks 
What a frightful collection of quirks
He's a creep and a slob
And to keep his new job  
He works nights resurrecting dead jerks.

John Boles, Mae Clarke, Dwight Frye and Colin Clive in a quiet moment from Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931). Title by shifty Donald B. Benson.

Gone With the Windpipe

 
His lust is inspired by her nape
And he must quench its fire, mouth agape
Her jugular vein
Makes him bug-eyed, insane
And her bust lights a pyre 'neath his cape.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee chomps on Isla Blair in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970). Title by doggone Donald B. Benson.

Necks in Line

Their throats are the bits he does crave
So he floats from the pit of his grave
And his canines he'll sink
In some jane, then he'll drink
Until, bloated, he's spit-roast by stave.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee, Isla Blair and Linda Hayden in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970).

Why Dracula Rises Again

Into bedrooms, eyes gleaming, he'll steal
Where the ready young females will peel
But it's hunger, not lust
For a young, heaving bust--
This undead craves a steamy, hot meal.        

Christopher Lee and Veronica Carlson in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by early riser Donald B. Benson.

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Darkness

A grim reaper who bites on the throat
He would sweep through the night and then gloat
By his crimson-lined shroud
All the bimbos were wowed
He would creep up, alight, and emote.

David Cairns

Veronica Carlson and Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Out of the InkHell

A team of redoubtable goons
Who seem to come out on full moons
With fang, claw, and bolt
This gang sends a jolt
Don't scream! These three louts are cartoons.

In Mickey's Gala Premiere (Burt Gillett; 1933), Bela Lugosi (dressed as Count Dracula), Fredric March (as Mr. Hyde) and Boris Karloff (as Frankenstein's monster) attend the premiere of a Mickey Mouse cartoon at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. Title out of  Donald B. Benson.

Crawl of the Wild

For what made him a creep there's no drug
He'll persuade you to deep fry a bug
Get a net -- he's a louse
If he's let in the house
Be afraid, and don't sleep on the rug.

Renfield (Dwight Frye) comes a-crawling in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Title by Donald B. Benson, wild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper.

Going Down for the Count

Film odysseys dripping with gore
With bodices ripping galore!
With nothing to hide
Each gothic vamp bride
Immodestly strips on the floor.

Christopher Lee and devotees in a publicity still for Dracula A.D. 1972 (Alan Gibson; 1972). No such scene appears in the film, naturally. Count on Donald B. Benson for a title.

As You Spike It

Never fool with these sickos, don't toy
They're too ghoulish and wicked, me boy
When you're near the undead
Keep a clear, level head
Run 'em through with a stick and destroy!



Barry Andrews and Ewan Hooper drive a stake through Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968). Title by Donald B. Benson, as we like it.

Never Give a Bloodsucker an Even Break

For this shifty old creep hold a wake
When he drifts off to sleep, kill the snake!
Don't sweat it, don't soften
Just get to his coffin
Strike swiftly and deep with a stake.

Christopher Lee has his hands full in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

Dracula Has Risen From the Gravy

With gore on his lips he's done eating
Once more to his crypt he's retreating
And then, the next night,
Again he will bite
These horror film scripts keep repeating.

Christopher Lee in Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (Freddie Francis; 1968).

From Dusk to Drawn

 

Beware when were-ghouls start to prowl
Their character's dual--their breath foul
These furry cartoons
Live during full moons
And werewolves will drool--get a towel!



The Wolf Man (and Dracula) in the animated opening credits to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Title by dusky Donald B. Benson.

Regrets Only

 

By this bastard you've just been invited
To his castle both dusty and blighted.
Soon you'll crave things that crawl
As his slavey and thrall
And with nasty bug-lust grow excited.

Dracula (Bela Lugosi) welcomes Renfield (Dwight Frye) to Castle Dracula (Tod Bowning; 1931). Edit and title by the one and only Donald B. Benson.

Die, Fledermaus!

.
In the fifties the features got sicker
Walking stiffs would play leach in each flicker
A stake through the chest
Would make them at rest
Less terrific with teak in the ticker.

David Cairns

Christopher Lee is Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958).

Pout For the Count

He's so dark, tall and gruesome onscreen
Smiling sharklike, all toothsome, dentine
With his fangs in their necks
Girls go languid, all sex
And loll starkers in twosomes obscene.

David Cairns



Christopher Lee, puts the bite on Isla Blair in Taste the Blood of Dracula (Peter Sasdy; 1970).

The Bat and the Beautiful

Chris Lee as Count Drac is compelling
At evil attractive, excelling
But "blue" moves the tix
So new to the mix:
The cleavage of actresses, swelling.

Model and actress Glenda Adams and Christopher Lee in a promo photo shoot for Dracula AD 1972 (1972). Don't hate title writer David Cairns because he's beautiful.

Welcome Back Rotter

Look there! His black cape is unfurling
The hair on your nape started curling!
He's back, but there's more
This Drac demands gore
You stare, mouth agape -- then start hurling!



Suzan Farmer, as Diana Kent, falls under the power of Christopher Lee, Dracula: Prince of Darkness (Terence Fisher; 1966).

Reanimania

The monster is feckless and large
Into johns he will recklessly barge
This wreck among dolts
With neck-affixed bolts
Turns on by electrical charge.

Dracula, the Monster, and the Wolf Man stalk through the animated credits to Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). That third figure is not a distaff werewolf--it's Lenore Aubert, who played Dr. Sandra Mornay, a beautiful but sinister scientist.

Working the Dwight Shift

He stares with maniacal eyes
"Three squares" means a diet of flies
When henchmen are needed
To the trenches Dwight's speeded
For characters, Frye takes the prize.

Dwight Frye climbs the walls as the insect-eating "Renfield" in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Shifty Donald B. Benson provided the title for this instalment of Dwight Frye-days.

The Gore, the Scarier?

A new era with lashings of gore
This year it's the fashion to pour
Crimson goop on a starlet
Till the trouper turns scarlet
Is this fear, or a crashing great bore?

David Cairns

Caroline Munro is awash in the Hammer Films production Dracula A.D. 1972 (Alan Gibson; 1972). Title by snorehound Donald B. Benson.

Mess Hall of Horrors

This nightmarish Drac is a sickie
His frightening snacking quite sticky
With gore his jaw's dripping
On the floor you'll be slipping
It might make you yack it's so icky.

Christopher Lee has his fill as Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958). Title by mess hall monitor Donald B. Benson.

Hammer and Sicko

Many fright films were looking old hat
Like a bite from a "spooky" fake bat
They seemed cruddy and duller
Though the bloody new color
Really might make you puke with a splat!

David Cairns

Blood splashes onto Dracula's tomb in the memorable opening shot of Dracula aka Horror of Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958). Look out, black and white fans, it's Hammer's time at LimerWrecks.

Welcome Bat

When Lugosi descends his grand stair
We're supposed to attend, get a scare
But when Chris Lee acts charming
It is this that's alarming
He's not ghostly, just friendly: Beware!

David Cairns

Bela Lugosi is Dracula (Todd Browning; 1931).

Undead Cred

They're moldy, these three, they're old hat
The cold one roams free as a bat
These spawn out of hell
Were drawn on a cel
That's old school 2-D, which is flat.

Dracula -- Bela Lugosi: From the animated title credits sequence in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Unrest Home

This nut never sleeps in his bed
Can't shut off what creeps in his head
He eats only bugs
Like beetles and slugs
A glutton for cheap eats, undead.

Renfield (Dwight Frye) craves a diet of flies and spiders as he serves his master, Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931).

Stairway to Heavy

Here we find Mr. Lee on the stair
He seems kind and carefree, but beware!
Because sheathed in his smile
Are the teeth that defile
First he grinds them, then see! Now they're bare!

David Cairns

Christopher Lee's Dracula makes a dramatic entrance in (Horror of) Dracula (Terence Fisher; 1958) from Hammer films.