We're on vacation!

Driving to the coast to sit on a beach for a week. What could possibly go wrong? We'll see you when we get back--if we get back.



Barbara Stanwyck and Ralph Meeker in Jeopardy (John Sturges, 1953); Ann Savage and Tom Neal in Detour (Edgar G. Ulmer; 1945).

Aloha!

We're on vacation. See you soon.

Fry Me to the Moon

"A torch," Fritz opined, "is a treasure.
To scorch a behind is sheer pleasure.
Searing rears till they smart
Is so dear to my heart,
To torture is my kind of leisure."

David Cairns



Hunchback Fritz enjoys making the Monster's new life miserable: Dwight Frye and Boris Karloff in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Don't play with matches on Dwight Frye-days.

Honeymoon Excess

Connie Bailey is ought but carefree
This young frail ties the knot with all three
One wed to this troupe'll
Buy bed that's quadruple
What's entailed is too naughty to see.

David Cairns

Thelma Todd and Harpo Marx in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). In the final scene,  Todd's "college widow" Connie Bailey marries Harpo's dogcatcher, Chico's "iceman", and Groucho's school president! Title by Donald B. Benson, prone to excess.

I Doozy!

Strict morals deride and pooh-pooh
When foursomes are tied with "I do"
The honeymoon suite
Groom one will complete
Any more wait outside in a queue.

Chico and Groucho Marx fight over Thelma Todd in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). At the end of the film, these two and Harpo all marry her!

Todd's Little Wiseacres

 

Most beware 'em, those censors who cense.
But she'll dare 'em to offer offense
When chic as a sheik,
To pique them she'll seek
Her own harem to make love intense.

Donald B. Benson

"College widow" Connie Bailey (Thelma Todd) weds the three Marx Brothers in Horse Feathers.

The Wedding Marx

This union's not under a cloud
Three goons hitched to one is allowed
Though more than mere bigamy
(This foursome's polygamy)
Communing is fun, not a crowd!



Thelma Todd weds Chico, Groucho, Harpo at the end of Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). Title by Marxist Donald B. Benson.

Veggie Might

When Popeye by Bluto's oppressed
And must top the big brute's brutal best
He breaks out a can
Of what makes him a man
And bops the galoot with fresh zest.



Popeye and Bluto battle in A Dream Walking (Dave Fleischer, Seymour Kneitel; 1934) It's Cartoon Sunday at LimerWrecks.  Limerick assist by David Cairns; title by edgy Donald B. Benson.

Fritz Crackers

His performance, delightfully zany
He's abnormal, uptight and not brainy
Unrefined and deformed,
With a mind unreformed
He likes storms, and flies kites when it's rainy.

Fritz (Dwight Frye) eyes the cemetery in Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931). Things are always nutty on Dwight Frye-Days.

The Os' Zone

Bro Chico pokes keys with a finger
And Groucho is free with a zinger
The third is a freak
No word will he speak
He's Harpo, a flea-ridden swinger.

Harpo, Chico, and Groucho Marx, at the bar in a speakeasy in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). Harpo plays a dog-catcher, hence the fleas. Title by zoned out Donald B. Benson.

College Widow's Pique

The iceman, he cometh too much
In a trice, the big dummy will clutch
Each oddball delivery
Makes Thelma all shivery
It's not nice when those bums try to touch.

David Cairns

Thelma Todd, Chico and Groucho Marx in Horse Feathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932). Baravelli (Chico) is an "iceman" who delivers ice and bootleg liquor from a local speakeasy. Connie Bailey (Todd) is referred to as a "college widow", a single woman living in a college town who enjoys the attention of the young men from the local school. Horse Feathers was in part a spoof of a 1927 film called The College Widow.

The Name of the Dame

Like a tank, here's the stately Dumont
She's your swanky and straight-laced great aunt
She cannot be goaded
But man, is she loaded
It's her bank account dates really want.

Margaret Dumont (October 20, 1882 – March 6, 1965), here with Groucho Marx in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933).

Hot Todd-y

The core of a college is sport
So ignore study hall and cavort
When fellas want more
With Thelma they'll score
"No sorority gal," their report.

"Campus widow" Thelma Todd wrestles with Chico and Groucho in Horsefeathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932).

Boy and Goil

Her suitor's no cop, nor a banker
Sailor-suit-wearing Popeye's her anchor
It takes this one gob
To make her heart throb
Not Bluto, that top-heavy wanker.

Surly Hack with David Cairns

Get Thee Hench

His character's lousy, he's goony
So hairy, his brow's almost uni
He's craven and dense
Needs a shave and some sense
He scares all the fraus -- he's no Clooney.

Dwight Frye as Karl, henchman to Doctor Pretorius in Bride of Frankenstein (James Whale;1935).

The Marilyn Monroe Doctrine

Her figure and curves: they're iconic.
Her giggle: for nerves it's a tonic.
When her parts start to move,
On the arts they improve.
Her wiggle alone is symphonic.

Surly Hack and Donald B. Benson



Marilyn Monroe, Groucho Marx, and Eric Blore in Love Happy (David Miller; 1949).

Disorder in the Courtship

 

Of Teasdale he's hot in pursuit
He sees there's a shot at her loot
With laughter, not stealth
He's after her wealth
She's pleased, but she's not too astute.

Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) woos Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933). Title by orderly Donald B. Benson.

Hold That Poise

With aplomb Dumont barely reacts
To the comic's disparaging cracks
Groucho's banter abuses
But she shan't blow her fuses
Remains calm through unsparing attacks.

Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho Marx) hurls barbs at Mrs. Gloria Teasdale (Margaret Dumont) in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933). Title from the poison pen of Donald B. Benson.

Hauls of Academia

The bigwigs at auld Huxley College
Peddled trig, Latin lore, arcane knowledge--
But with Wagstaff as head
They will bag much more bread
Through pigskin and bonded waste haulage.

James Finn Garner



Horsefeathers (Norman Z. McLeod; 1932): As Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff, president of Huxley College, Groucho Marx leads his brothers in a football game against the school's arch rival. One unorthodox touchdown is scored via horse-drawn garbage wagon that Harpo rides like a chariot. Mr. Garner is the creator of Rex Koko, Private Clown, and the manager of the Triple A Bardball team.

Leafer Madness

He's the sailor in chief, he's the man
Saying nay to chipped beef, no to bran
Preferring cuisine
That's perfectly green
Hip hooray for that leaf in a can!

Popeye shows what makes him Strong to the Finich (Dave Fleischer, Seymour Kneitel; 1934). Title by title-mad Donald B. Benson.

Dwight to Remain Silent

 

This devil, I guess, is not deft
And he'll never confess to the theft
Of an unstable brain
That's been labeled insane
Nor, ever, the mess that he left.

David Cairns

Dwight Frye as hunchback Fritz in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). We celebrate Dwight Frye-Days every week at LimerWrecks.

Diplomatic Impugn-ity

Meet Rufus, the new head of state
The goofball makes bluebloods irate
Trentino gets sore
Which means they're at war
This spoof is so screwball it's great.

Trentino is slapped by Firefly while Mrs. Teasdale looks on: Louis Calhern, Groucho Marx, and Margaret Dumont in Duck Soup (Leo McCarey; 1933)