Tux In

This Count Drac's not impressed by fine wines
He'd wear slacks and a vest when he dines
Though he knows he's a cutie
When he's posed in his suit, he
Can't relax when he's dressed to the nines.

David Cairns

Béla Lugosi returns to the tux of Dracula in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Disappearing Nightly

Both the werewolf and Drac got the bird 
So this character has the last word
In a cameo bit 
Is a ham that won't quit
Not all there with the cast-- but he's heard.

The voice of Vincent Price as the Invisible Man is heard at the end of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). That's him on the left, puffing a cigarette. Invisible assist by David Cairns.

Werewolf of Lon Done

Larry Talbot has finished his spree
He's been all but diminished, made wee
Guess the Wolf Man's no more
Unless pulled from death's door
Like a halibut fished from the sea.

David Cairns 



The Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr or his stuntman) dives through a lab window, grabbing the bat form of Dracula, sending them both plunging down into the rocky surf. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Bat's All, Folks!

Beware of this sly-by-night creep
Preparing to fly from the keep
He is stopped in mid-flight
And is dropped from a height
By a guy-wolf, to die in the deep.


Count Dracula (Béla Lugosi) and the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Bat Grampa

Spreading gloom is an optical bat
Here it looms, not a prop, but a matte
Once a guy in a cape,
He will try to escape
But meets doom when he's dropped and goes splat!


Dracula (Béla Lugosi) transforms into an animated bat in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). Title by batty David Cairns.

Vanishing Scream

 

There goes Drac--off he flaps, taking flight  
For a snack, necks he taps with a bite  
These unsightly perversions
Are all nightly excursions
At dawn's crack he'll collapse and ignite.



Béla Lugosi gets animated in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Chiroptera Incognito

He devises a flight by cartoon
And he flies by the light of the moon
It appears he's a bat
But it's queerer than that
His disguise is a mite Loony Tune.


The entire cast of characters is animated during the opening credits (above), but Dracula (played by Béla Lugosi) also becomes a cartoon bat (top) during Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Title by neato David Cairns. I have no idea what it means, but it sure sounds cool.

Hair -- There and Everywhere

Life's no fun when each morning you're raving
And can't run from the gore that you're craving
There is only one perq
Going lone wolf berserk:
That you're done with the chore that is shaving.

Larry Talbot transforms into the Wolf Man: Lon Chaney Jr. in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Title by everyman for himself Norm Knott.

The Rhyme of the Ancient Nightmare-iner

Just for yuks his old part he's rehashing
Once more sucks at the parties he's crashing
No spruce goose, he's undying
Though no use in denying
In his tux the old fart still looks dashing.

Béla Lugosi gives Jane Randolph a spin in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Bat's Entertainment

As a bat, the count flaps 'cross the screen
Just like that, necks he taps for cuisine
He will chill to the soul,
Either kill or control,
Or fall flat in a slapstick routine.



Béla Lugosi returns to the role of Dracula, and Glenn Strange lumbers once more as the Monster in the horror comedy Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). The truth is, the film is fun, and it doesn't mock the monsters. But just the same, the exposure to comedy signaled the end of the classic Universal monster films.

Of FlederMice and Wolf Men

Ol' Count Drac is so ancient he's "zoic"
Lar attacks or complains -- he ain't stoic
He's a bore, Drac's inhuman
Both have horror acumen
But Lar's actions are plainly heroic.



It's Wolf Man vs. Dracula in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948); Béla Lugosi is Count Dracula, and Lon Chaney, Jr. is Larry Talbot/Wolf Man. Title by nighty mice--um...mighty nice David Cairns.

Gone With the Window

He's a tinderbox, horribly cross
Now rekindled, he's more at a loss
But irate just the same,
He heads straight for the dame
Through the window she warrants a toss.



Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948): As Chick Young (Bud Abbott) and Wilbur Grey (Lou Costello) watch from the foreground, the Monster (Lon Chaney/stunt double, subbing for an injured Glenn Strange) heaves Dr. Mornay (Lénore Aubert/stunt double) to her doom. Title by real gone David Cairns. And thanks to Universal Monsters fan Ted Newsom for the actor info.

Rapt Pupils

On the make, she will flatter the guys
She's a fake, though -- her patter is lies
She'll beguile and she'll charm them
Then defile them and harm them
All it takes is her batting her eyes.


Wilbur Grey is seduced by Dr. Sandra Mornay, an undercover disciple of Dracula: Lénore Aubert and Lou Costello in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Strange Fraught

He thrashes like mad in his straps
Film's so trashy, so bad, that he snaps
Thus Glenn Strange goes berserk
A deranged, dozy jerk
In a mash-up a tad near collapse.

David Cairns

Glenn Strange is the Frankenstein Monster, busting loose in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). It's a limerick, folks. We actually like the movie.

Mad Menace

Growing miffed that this chiller is fluff
The big stiff, looking ill, snarls "enough!"
He's unsound and can't take it
So he'll pound it and break it
That is, IF the guy still has the stuff.

The Monster (Glenn Strange) is mad and can't take it anymore--"it" being Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). It's a joke.

Do What You Wilbur

Two killers, one schmuck in the middle
Poor Wilbur's butt's stuck on the griddle
The werewolf and Drac
Will glare, then attack
Not thrilled, the dumb cluck has a piddle.


The Wolf Man (Lon Chaney, Jr.), Wilbur Grey (Lou Costello), and Count Dracula (Béla Lugosi) at the climax of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Dr. Kill-Dire

 

In the lab this old hellspawn is ticked
He had Abbot, Costello quite licked
But a lupine intrusion
Brings such stupid confusion
That the rabble dispel in die nicht.

 

David Cairns

 

The brain-swapping plan of Dracula (Béla Lugosi) is thwarted by the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr) in the finale of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Wilbur (Lou Costello) and the Monster (Glenn Strange) are strapped to operating tables.

Dinner Plans of Attack

He's wary, the hour is late
But Larry the dour will wait
Now evening is nearing
Hair-weaving's appearing
His fare he'll devour at 8.



Larry Talbot transforms into the Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr) once more in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948).

The Howl and the Pussycat

Lon's unstrapping, Lou's hope is he'll hurry
As the captive, the dope has to worry
While he's grateful for help,
When it's late Lon turns whelp
One who happens to lope and grow furry.



Lon Chaney, Jr. lends a hairy hand to Lou Costello in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

A Splinter's Tale

In his lair do whatever it takes
Hit Drac square on his head so it breaks
When it's broken apart
Stick some oak in his heart
Busted chair bits make excellent stakes.

Chair-raising chills with Béla Lugosi as Count Dracula, Bud Abbott as Chick Young, and Lénore Aubert as Dr. Mornay, in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). Title by woody Norm Knott.

Rumble Seating

This old fart has a dangerous stare
His lips part and two fangs he will bare
He's allergic to wood
So most furniture's good
Give his heart a good bang with a chair.

Bud Abbott in action! Chick Young (Abbott) fends off Dracula (Béla Lugosi) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). With Lenore Aubert as Dr. Sandra Mornay. And are those the Monster's giant boots in the foreground?
  
Behind the Scenes, Department:  After composing a limerick, I'm often stuck for a title, and call on my LimerWrecks lurkers for ideas. For this one, Norm Knott came up with a few dozen, including A HEADFUL OF CHAIR, CHAIR WEATHER FRIEND, HERE, THERE AND EVERY CHAIR and SHAVE AND A CHAIR CUT. David Cairns submitted FURNI-CHEWER, CHAIR TODAY, LEG OF HAM, WOODEN PERFORMANCE, STAKE A SEAT and IKEA DARK STRANGER. Incapable of making a Sophie's Choice, I used one of my own, the relatively uninspired "Rumble Seating."

Howling At The Goon

In the lab, does this loup-garou mellow,
Meeting Abbott and, through him, Costello?
No, he's savage as ever
And he'll ravage and sever
On the slab poor old Lou starts to bellow.

David Cairns

It's Larry Talbot to the rescue, in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). Lon Chaney Jr. as Talbot, with Béla Lugosi, Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, and Lenore Aubert and Glenn Strange.

Troupe Deployment

When the greatest of monsters regroup
They've gained weight, they look wan, and they droop
Jesters pester and taunt them
And one question will haunt them:
Play it straight, or join comedy troupe?


Lou Costello is Wilbur, mugging with Béla Lugosi as Dracula, Glenn Strange as the Monster, and Lon Chaney Jr as the Wolf Man, in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948).

Numbskull Fracture

First a slit, then she'll open his skull
For what's in it she's hoping to cull
Let mad science explain
Why they'd pry out his brain
When the wits in the dope are so dull.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Lou Costello is Wilbur Grey, and Lenore Aubert is Dr. Sandra Mornay, the mad doctor of the piece.

Grey Matter of Life and Death

Short on smarts, little Wilbur's maligned
Faint of heart, he lacks will in a bind       
He's defenseless and weak
But it's dense these two seek
Evil partners who'd kill for his mind.


Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948): Lou Costello as Wilbur Grey, Béla Lugosi as Count Dracula, and Lenore Aubert as Dr. Sandra Mornay, the show's requisite mad doctor.

Lou's On First

Here's a verse about cuddly Lou
Took the worst that his "buddy" could do
I don't know about what,
But he'd go a bit nuts
And at first was befuddled who's who.

Today is the birthday of Louis Francis Cristillo (March 6, 1906 – March 3, 1959), better known by his stage name, Lou Costello.

Brain Wavering

It is brains that mad scientists crave
Which explains their late nights by a grave
Matter dull and slow-witted
Into skulls retrofitted
Pried from craniums slightly concave.

David Cairns and Surly Hack

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948). Title to the contrary, there is no  Doctor Frankenstein, but there is a surgeon named Dr. Sandra Mornay (Lenore Aubert), who, at the behest of Dracula (Béla Lugosi), prepares to transplant a more compliant brain into the Monster (Glenn Strange).

Too-Lame Flat-Top

You can bet he's a load with some heft
Dans la tête though, this schmoe is bereft
With a figure unsightly
The guy's big but not sprightly
All his get up and go up and left.

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948): Glenn Strange as the Monster, Lenore Aubert as the "mad" surgeon, and Béla Lugosi as Count Dracula. Title by nonfat-top David Cairns.

Vacant Plotz

A dunderhead duo of gents
I wonder which screwball's less dense
Insane or just loony,
Their brains are both puny
Short of funds when they pool their two cents.

Lou Costello as Wilbur Grey, and Glenn Strange as the Monster in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948). Title by wonderhead David Cairns.

Fur and Wide

There's trouble when moons begin glowing
His stubble will soon start in growing
This wracks him with worry
Will his package turn furry?
Li'l tubby here better get going.


The Wolf Man (Lon Chaney Jr) stalks Wilbur Grey (Lou Costello) in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

Moon Raver

The light of its beams frightens Larry
The sight of it gleaming is scary
When the orb is in full
With its horrible pull
He can't fight it, just screams and goes hairy.


Lon Chaney returns as moony Lawrence Talbot/the Wolf Man, in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).

A Wolf Man in Sheep's Clothing

When the moon waxes full in the sky
This maroon starts to loosen his tie
And, like beasts found in zoos,
Has the least need for shoes --
He's a lunatic wolf kind of guy.

Being a Wolf Man is hell on the haberdashery: Lon Chaney Jr in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton; 1948).