Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Chain of Ghouls

Linked together, these three are in chains
And their tether is bleeding remains
Dead parts that two stole
Made one's heart and his soul
Though the netherworld ceded him brains.

Dwight Frye, Boris Karloff and Colin Clive in Frankenstein.
Happy Halloween, all you treat-or-trickers and limerickers!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Partners in Grime

They're a not-so-bright shock film schlemiel
And a pazzo (mad) doctor with zeal
It's a grisly affair,
But this dismal, daft pair
From their plots the new occupants steal.

Dwight Frye is Fritz and Colin Clive is Frankenstein, James Whale's monster masterpiece. Title by David 'Cryptpeeper' Cairns.

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Doctor is In and Out of His Mind

Poor Henry is losing his mind
He's half-senseless, screws loose from the grind
Since his knife carved a beast,
Re-charged life where it ceased,
He's been tense and the dude should unwind.

Colin Clive is Frankenstein. Title by nutty Norm Knott, limerick assist by David 'Cukoo' Cairns.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Arterial Girl

This blonde on a date looks inviting
She responds in a way that's exciting
But aroused turns immoral,
Starts espousing the oral,
And is overly fond of the biting.

Kirsten Lindholm (as Kirsten Betts) in the Hammer horror film The Vampire Lovers (1970). Title by vampire film lover David Cairns.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Hammer and Sugar Tongs

With a clamor for garlic and crosses,
Most vampires start counting their losses
But Christopher Lee
Insists on high tea
With Hammer Films' studio bosses.

Christopher Lee in Dracula, aka Horror of Dracula (1958). Title by hammer-fisted David Cairns.Vampire Weekends is undead again.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Tales From the Darkside-kick

He's a weasel, a farcical worm
Plus a sleazy, bizarre little germ
And this sawed-off de Sade
Helps his boss to play God,
But his grasp of glass jars isn't firm.

Dwight Frye as "Fritz" in a still from Frankenstein (1931). We have a hunch this is Dwight Frye-Days. Image source:

Thursday, October 25, 2012

It's Bad Luck to Seize the Bride Before the Wedding

With a snarl he will awkwardly stride
But his ardor will not be denied
She runs, monster chases,
It's fun at the races,
And like Harpo, he's stalking the bride.

Boris Karloff and Mae Clarke are the monster and the fiancée of Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Bling bearer: David Cairns.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012


He's a slave to the flakiest vision
Stark raving, he makes an incision
Mutilation, then stitches,
His 'creation' of glitches
Was a grave, godforsaken decision.

Colin Clive is Frankenstein. Title by under-the-knife Norm Knott.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Monster of Frankensize

He's created from dead parts of meat
Like those great, quite incredible feet
Dogs so massive in size
All the lasses surmise
That his rating in bed ain't "petite".

Looks like Fritz is also interested in the monster's shoe size. Boris Karloff, Dwight Frye and Colin Clive in Frankenstein (1931).

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Sewn Also Rises

Thunder rumbled and lightning bolts blazed,
And the slumbering nightmare was raised
Then back down to the earth,
Where the doc who "gave birth"
Has become more than slightly half-crazed.

Boris Karloff is baby-monster to Colin Clive's deranged doctor-daddy in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Title by lab rat David Cairns.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Llike a Virgin? Yes, I'd Love One!

For the virgin, the pure and the chaste
This scourge has a curious taste
He will seek to control
Ev'ry squeaky clean soul,
But his urges are surely debased.

Christopher Lee with Melissa Stribling in Dracula, aka Horror of Dracula (1958), the Hammer film that launched the vampire revival. Urgently needed title and assist by David Cairns.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Pretty for Conquest

Vamps don't cuddle or coddle, they sip
Craving blood from a body, they flip
If a chick is beguiling
They move quick to defiling...
Undead studs give the bodice a rip.

Christopher Lee gets an eyeful of Barbara Shelley in Hammer Films' Dracula: Prince of Darkness (Terence Fisher, 1965). 
Vampire Weekends is showing its cleavage.

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Corpse Finders

I'm assistant creating an "it"
Its existence comes straight from a kit
Parts from corpses we're needing,
So, of course, all my reading
Must consist of the latest obits.

Fritz helps Frankenstein make a monster: Dwight Frye and Colin Clive in Frankenstein (1931). We hope you're digging Dwight Frye-days.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Prometheus Unsound

When its arm moves, the doctor's response
Is so far from detached nonchalance
"It's alive!" he repeats,
(Colin Clive overheats)
At his artwork's post-mort renaissance.

Colin Clive stares at the hand of Boris Karloff in Frankenstein (1931).

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Zealous Guy

When a bod you've arranged you revive,
Is it odd to exchange the high five?
Raise a glass in some bars?
Perhaps pass out cigars?
Playing God, your refrain's "It's ALIVE!"

Boris Karloff, Dwight Frye, and Colin Clive going bonkers... It's Frankenstein (1931). Title by the easily excitable David Cairns.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

A Hard Brain's Gonna Fall

Give him wits and this flat-top goes far
But then Fritz drops and shatters the jar
With the mind that was left,
Unrefined and bereft,
He's a ditz, his grey matter sub-par.

Boris Karloff in Frankenstein. Title by David "cranial cavity" Cairns.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Born in the U.V. Ray

Still-born from the thunderous night
So malformed, such a blundering wight
When this Lazarus freak
Could first hazard a peek
Forlorn, it saw sun, reached for light.

David Cairns

Boris Karloff touches us in James Whale's Frankenstein (1931). 

Limerick Lexicon: Wight is a Middle English word, from Old English wiht, and used to describe a creature or living sentient being. It is akin to Old High German wiht, meaning a creature or thing.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Cloak and Shag'er

Inflicting its blight through their necks,
Each victim it bites it infects
They're bled and undead,
Yet still ready for bed,
And the ickiest, nightmarish sex.

Madeleine Smith and Ingrid Pitt are The Vampire Lovers (Roy Ward Baker, 1970). This sick-chick flick launched The Karnstein Trilogy at England's Hammer films. Title by shagadelic David Cairns. And that's Vampire Weekends.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Bosom Bloodies

When confusion descended on Hammer
They tried an infusion of "glamour"
But they blew it with crudity
And gratuitous nudity
An intrusion on proper film grammar.

David Cairns

According to Mr.Cairns, "Violence was the distinguishing trait of Hammer horror, sex was their downfall." Read more from David at his blog Shadowplay, and his weekly film column, The Forgotten.

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Taunt of Fear

This toad gives the monster the fits
He goads and he taunts -- it's the pits!
The quirky assistant
Whose work's inconsistent
Is nobody's Igor -- he's Fritz!

Surly Hack and David Cairns

In Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931), Dwight Frye's dull-witted, easily spooked, brain-dropping, nasty little hunchbacked bastard was named Fritz, not Igor. Read more about Frye as Fritz at THE CHISELER. Welcome to our new weekly feature, Dwight Frye-days.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Runaway Brain

The brain they've installed isn't right
They've profaned, they're appalled and contrite
Now his slumbering's ceased
And the lumbering beast
Is insane -- worst of all -- impolite.

David Cairns

Dwight Frye, Colin Clive, Mae Clarke, and Boris Karloff as the monster, in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). For more Cairns.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Brain Drops

As I dwelt on the words of Descartes,
A skeleton gave me a start
I expelled a loud gasp,
The jar fell from my grasp
Now that hellspawn will never be smart.

Surly Hack and David Cairns

Dwight Frye fumbles in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Here's wishing a very happy birthday to Shadowplayer David Cairns!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Mental On My Mind

Human brains come in different sizes,          
And some plainly won't win any prizes
There is genius in some
Some are mean, others dumb
The insane ones are full of surprises.

The Countdown to Halloween continues with James Whale's Frankenstein. Title by that brainy gentleman,  David Cairns.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Nature or Suture?

The object of cruelty and scorn,
The monster is truly forlorn
His "life" is perverse,
By the knife made a curse:
He was cobbled together, not born.

Boris Karloff, being brilliant in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931).

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Studio Giblets

At Hammer they'd show no restraint,
And swam in a flow of red paint
When Christopher Lee
Bit Misses with glee,
Old hams like Lugosi looked quaint.

The times they were a-changin' ad for Taste the Blood of Dracula (1969), and Bela Lugosi in the original Dracula (1931). Title by ruddy David Cairns. Vampire Weekends is painting the town red.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Bite Makes Right

You can sprout great long canines for biting
Without doubt draining veins is exciting
But some find it wiser
To grind their incisors
Spouting gore makes for stains uninviting.

David Cairns

Max Schreck's Nosferatu had two rat-like central fangs, whereas William Marshall's Blacula and Christopher Lee's Dracula had the more common long canines, dentia which apparently made for messier blood-sucking. Hey, kids, Vampire Weekends is educational!

Friday, October 5, 2012

Mourning Suit

His jacket's too short in the sleeves
He's lacking a shirt, so he grieves
He's encumbered by boots
That a lumberjack suits
All in black cause this mort's self-bereaved.

David Cairns

Boris Karloff is the monster, raised from the dead in Frankenstein.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Pall in the Family

Its noggin is shaped like a block
It's not from your grade A type stock
The monster descends
From odds and dead ends,
But its pop's Henry Frankenstein, doc.

Colin Clive and Boris Karloff in the monster-daddy of them all, Frankenstein (1931). Title by David Cairns, family maniac.

Welcome to the October-long blogathon, the Countdown to Halloween. The pic below links to all the other participating blogs.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Sewn of Frankenstein

He's been sewing from old a new bod
And he's going where no man had trod
That the thing which he makes
Is a string of mistakes,
Henry knows, yet he goes and plays God.

Colin Clive is Henry Frankenstein, Dwight Frye is Fritz the hunchback, and Boris Karloff is the monster, in Frankenstein (1931). Title by that son of Shadowplay, David Cairns.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I've Got a Gallows in Kalamazoo

Making monsters is terribly tricky
As a job it's both scary and sticky
Felons left in a noose
Must be deftly cut loose
Stealing bodies, this pair can't be picky.

Body snatching is all in a night's work for Colin Clive and Dwight Frye in Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931). Title by well hanged David Cairns. The Countdown to Halloween continues.

Monday, October 1, 2012

A Grave Review

By cover of dark they're concealing
Their shoveling job, unappealing
The task is macabre
Just ask either robber:
From caskets, dead bodies they're stealing.

Colin Clive and Dwight Frye dig up Frankenstein (1931). And you've just uncovered the October-long Countdown to Halloween.