That's why I could never live in Chicago. No Kraut? Or brown mustard?
On hot dogs in Chi, there's no krautThat condiment does get left outBut brown mustard smearedon "brats" is endearedwith kraut piled high---this we tout!
For dogs in Chicago we droolfrom death beds way back to pre-schoolIn school we are taughthow hot dogs are wroughtNo ketchup's the one golden rule
It simply brings tears to my eyeswhen people put ketchup on friesI get wobbly legswhen it's poured on eggsOn "dogs"?--that's the big booby prize!
The condiments must be composedof relish so green that it glows plus onions and picklesand mustard that tricklesBut ketchup on hot dogs? That blows!
It's how all us Chi-kids were bredThis phrase was reiteratedIf ketchup is shown,turn tail and run home"It's best to go hungry than red"
A dog served with catsup's not chastebut one can account for bad tasteLike gardens need weedingour children need breedingor red sauce on hotdogs is placed
A "rebel", to hot dog, will douse itwith ketchup but that will just louse itup beyond good tasteand , O, such a wasteIt dies with no way to arouse it
All regions will find their own waysOn fries some will pour mayonnaiseWith hot dogs tastes varyand toppings get scarybut ketchup just gives me malaise
A baseball man, name of Butch Wynegaronce dipped a hot dog into vinegarThe skies opened wideDog God was defiedDecreed He, Original Sin occurred
That cuts it--the mustard, that is.
Whew! Thanks. After all that, I need a burger......with lots of catsup!
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